This review is only grading for Writing Quality, Story Development, and Character Design, for reasons I will elucidate on later.
WRITING QUALITY
The author has taken a serious gamble in writing in third-person present tense and I feel it hasn't paid off. This is a personal thing, but I mention it first because it can seriously impact how easily read the work is; third-person past tense is the standard for fiction for reasons. This isn't the reason for my score here, though.
I was surprised and shocked in the course of going over this work to discover that it apparently has an editor. If I may make a suggestion, perhaps you should have spent less time arguing over using a pronoun and more time actually proofreading the thing, Mighty Editor.
The author's grasp of appropriate punctuation and capitalization is very loose. The confusing convention of bracketing thoughts with periods (yes, I understand Inkstone doesn't allow formatting; there are still other ways to do it) only worsens the presentation when half of the things that should have periods at the end don't.
Apostrophes keep getting thrown in where they don't belong. The author has his own creative ways of spelling certain words (phlegm is now flem apparently, for example). All-in-all it's a crapshow that desecrates the mother tongue.
I rate this even lower than usual because this is apparently with an editor's assistance. Bad.
STORY DEVELOPMENT / CHARACTER DESIGN
I am exempting World Background from this review as it is a work using the real world (the stars given are the average of the work).
The synopsis is useless. One might think the author of the work is solely relying on the popularity of novels with systems that get updated often enough to carry the work, but that would be cynical of me to suggest so I won't.
The author seems to mistake "slang use" for "character". Applied to side characters to denote class/status or used with auxiliaries or a main with more personality than a potato, it's a useful tool. This is not the situation here; the slang is the character here.
The main character is a stupid, ugly, dirty, whiny slob. That's his trait list, more or less. There isn't a whit of charm or even something intriguing to care about. The others characters are this but in stiffer cardboard.
SUMMARY AND AN EXTRA WORD OR TWO
The work is a painful slog through a minefield of bad formatting and creative attempts at reforging the English language anew. The characters could all die in nuclear fire and the world would be better for it. This isn't the same as writing a "love to hate" villain, for the record; they're just that abominable.
Why did I not include Stability of Updates? Because I've decided to not rate that anymore when the prose is abominable like it is here. I no longer wish to encourage authors to churn out factory crap at the expense of using a straightforward spelling and grammar checker (again, amazed that this work supposedly has an editor).
The other thing I have to note: I'm not sure if this work is a genuine effort anyway. Lazy synopsis, lazy cover, short chapters with zero TLC, and the author seems to launch himself from inflammatory position to inflammatory position in a ball of flame to put the Hindenburg to shame.
I'll make no judgment of the various attempts at self-immolation. Instead I'll just note my personal opinion that it's monumentally stupid to insult a major demographic base for the site, which largely draws from an audience in SE Asia.
Whether troll work or genuine, I would not recommend this to anybody for anything except a master class on what not to do. If this is indeed a parody of the "low effort system novel" trend, I do not want to encourage any more of it. If it is genuinely written, I still do not want to encourage any more of it. I just want the pain to stop.
