Are You Serious With This?

Who did I piss off to be reincarnated as a rock? I mean, I can't eat, sleep, see, hear, smell, or any of the normal daily activities of most sentient beings. I can't even rub one out, because I have nothing to rub or rub with. But here I am existing as a thought bound by my hard unfeeling exterior. I'm not even sure how big I am. I could be a huge raging hard rock or a pebble on a beach. The only reason I know I'm a rock is because of this stupid display that never changes. Who: What: Where: When: Why: How: And what does Integration mean? I don't- Hey, wait a minute. I felt that. [Energy signature detected. possible. Would host like to continue?] [Yes/No] ... Um... Screw it. I got nothing better to do. Yes, let's do this.