Chapter 5: Zenith Greyrat.

I feel uneasy; my heart has never completely ceased it's burdensome weight ever since that day, it throbbed irregularly and constantly.

Most of it has been relieved now, but I still feared some bad, not completely absent possibility.

Even just thinking about it, the pain in my chest throbbed again, it is relentless.

It's not exactly physical, but again, it sometimes hurt physically, I don't even know how to begin describing what I felt exactly.

My boy was gone, it was not said aloud by anyone.

But the declaration was loud unlike the otherwise quiet room I was there in.

Paul Sobs uncontrollably when I'd ask something that I now could no longer recall, but even before that I had already intuit, however I could not accept it.

My logical side could not trust my intuition, and my emotional side has already rejects the thought even before it was able to take its shape inside my mind.

Even then, I'd hoped I was wrong. I'd hoped the reason Lillia hid the baby from me was because she wanted to suprise me, completely unrelated to the one I thought.

Of course, at that point, we have not known each other clearly, and she have no reason to do it.

Even then, it was the only possibility my tired, undehydrated mind could accept.

But even that hope was quickly trampled on as Lillia had deliver the baby close to me.

The baby, my baby, he was not breathing.

It was a reality that Lillia and I had both confirmed, and a truth I wasn't willing to accept.

I suppose anyone who calls my reaction foolish has never felt a pain so overwhelmingly consuming it leaves you breathless, your lungs rejected the air, your mind rejected the world, and your eye rejected the image that was reflected upon it.

But somehow, in some act of grace, the truth we thought we'd confirmed turned out to be false.

I was never been more happy I was wrong.

For months after his birth, I hardly left his side. No one could hardly blame me, I thought.

The clinic had a lack of staff then, but I could simply not let go of my baby.

It might seem silly, but I was terrified—afraid that if I took my eyes off him for even a second, he'd be gone.

This tiny life I cradled in my hands, so fragile and precious, felt like it could slip away if I let him out of my sight, even just to breathe.

Looking back, if you asked why I did all that, I'd probably blush and look away. But I'd never feel a semblance of regret. It was a mother's duty.

Again. My boy was alive.

Against all odds, he lived.

There were many signs that he was weak; for instance, he'd scrunch up his little face whenever he was fed my breastmilk, almost as if it was too much for him or that he could not consumed it.

I worried he'd grow up frail, delicate—too fragile for this world.

But once again, I was wrong. He was proven to be strong, extremely so.

Around his seventh month, Rudy began to crawl.

It may not sound like much, but to me and Paul, it was a huge relief.

Lillia, though, didn't share that excitement.

She found it strange, given the circumstances of his birth he should have been weak she said.

She didn't say it outright, but I could tell she thought Rudy was meant to be stillborn.

I won't deny I felt a spark of anger when she voiced her opinion.

But then again, I had asked her, after all, and she was only giving me her honest answer, and quite politely at that, just like what she did on that dreadful day.

Yes, from everything I've later heard from the local clinic, he had been a stillborn child, he was exactly like a still born, unresponsive and lifeless, it was true.

But he lived, and that was all that mattered.

In any case, as I said, my boy was strong.

By his first birthday, he could walk—unsteady, maybe, but definitely—and he made his way around the house with a spirit that was nothing short of miraculous.

Then, not long after, he brought me a magic textbook and asked me to read it to him.

I found it adorable and did as he asked, never questioning how he'd even come across the book.

But as I read, a strange feeling crept in. Where had he found it?

Not only that, I questioned, why did he found it? Also, why this book specifically?

And, why does my Rudy looks like he understood what I read to him?

The days that followed only added to my sense of unease.

I'd taken a few days off from the local clinic to stay home, and each time I read to him, something felt... off.

Lillia noticed it too when I spoke to her.

"Could it be?..." I asked. "Really, is it?"

"About what? Madam." She'd respond.

"It's true right? My Rudy is a genius after all. I've known it for a long time." I was filled with joy and pride, because I just know it.

Though when I exclaimed thus, Lillia only gazes at me silently.

Perhaps she has not realise it, of course that should be natural, since I am the mother it's obvious that I should know it.

"In any case Lillia." I spoke. "I have something of a plan," I told her, and my plan then.

"Madam," She does not appears convince, but this is my house and I am the rule, and finally, she sigh lightly and answered, "I understand."

Eventually, we decided to keep an eye on him, and the following days we tailed him.

It was not because I distrusted my Rudy, but because I didn't want to discourage him by watching too closely, and I thought he might be too shy to share it to someone else yet.

I may not have been trained in tailing people, but I'd been an adventurer in my younger days.

I knew a thing or two about stealth, and Lillia, although I don't know the specific, but I heard she was a palace guard, in any case we are ready to execute our plans.

And, what I found out that day you ask? That should be a story entirely for another day…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Forgive me for the late update, I could not upload yesterday. Today there will be two I suppose, again, forgive me.