Gil-kun and the Strange, Strange Land

"Good heavens, you two sure are heavy... I really hope I'm going in the right direction... wait... is that land? Hey guys, I think we made it, we made it! Oh, sorry, right... you're still asleep. Yeah, Nero, you made it..."

Nero stumbled on for a few meters until she finally reached dry land and lied down with the other two.

"Man, that was so tiring... now we're all dirty... hey, you two, we have arrived. Oi, Oi, Oi!"

They were still sleeping.

"... well, if it comes to this, then... umu, umu, umu, umu, umu, umu, umu, um-"

"Shut up!"

"Haha, you're awake, Goldie!"

"You're pathetic ramblings would wake me up immediately, fool!"

"Ugh, did we fall asleep? How are we alive? Why don't I feel wet?"

"Well, I carried you two slackers and-"

"Slackers?"

"We carried you for hours!"

"So did I!"

"We did not sleep for hours."

"Yes you did! Anyway, I was going to say, you don't feel wet, because we have arrived on the other side!"

"What? Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I was going to..."

"This might be the best thing you've done, mongrel, no, Nero."

"I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment..."

"Let's see how the place is."

"I hope the mountain of candy isn't too far!"

"Saber, I'm comin-"

They all stared bewildered at the desert in front of them.

"What the hell?"

"Wasn't the desert supposed to be south of here?"

"I knew you couldn't be trusted, mongrel!"

"I was correct! Look at the map! The outline of the swamp is the correct one!"

"She's right, Galter."

"Well, I suppose that since we didn't really know what we were looking for, it could have been anything. It's just a bit..."

"Underwhelming, I'd say."

"Wait, guys look at these cool palms! And that golden city into the distance. And... is that a rainbow mountain? This place is so cool!"

"Haven't you seen how far away those things are?"

"Well, we have Goldie's things, no?"

"We were already shot down once."

"Then you have to think smaller, Goldie! You can't take a big airship and fly all around the world! Something more... incospicous."

"*sighs* It is worth a shot."

With a flick of his hand, Gilgamesh summoned a large chariot, driven by metal horse-robots. Golden, obviously.

"Up aboard, guys! Let's go explore!"

"Yeah, sure, Nero."

They rode and rode for a few minutes, until they saw someone walking in the middle of the desert.

"Hey, that guy might be in trouble, let's give him a hand!"

"Absolutely not."

"Let's stop and see if he's fine, at least."

"If you really must..."

They stopped just before the figure walking lonely.

"Hey, Mister! How are you doing? Do you need some help?"

There was no answer.

"Are you OK?"

There was silence once more.

Nero approached him and gently tapped on his shoulder, and the figure started turning around.

"Hey, are you fin-"

His face was blank. There was nothing. No eyes, no mouth, no nose. Nothing. And yet, Nero could here some mumbling in a language she didn't understand. She looked down and saw a complete face plastered on the stomach of the "man".

"AAAAHHHHH!"

Nero freaked out, running towards the carriage.

"What is all this screaming, mor- AHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? KILL IT, GAL! KILL IT, KILL IT!"

"What are you fools babbling about- AAAAHHHHHH!!!! DID ISHTAR MAKE THAT?!"

A few minutes of Gate of Babylon after...

"Huff... huff... ok, I think... it's most definetely dead."

"Yeah, I'd say so too."

"What the hell was that?"

"Wow, that was a bit savage you guys, also just over that dune there's a whole village of them."

"Oh thanks... AAAAHHHH!"

"AAAAAHHHH!"

"Kill him too! Kill him!"

"Hey, hey, easy guys! I'm an astroprojection, my body isn't here at the moment! I'm just as confused as you."

"Who the hell are you?"

Gilgamesh asked to the figure, a blonde young man with curly hair and a kind of foreign look to his face.

"My name is... Michael Valentine Smith. And I'm a stranger in a strange land!"