Devil’s Idol

I know saying this might get me a one-way ticket to a mental hospital, but…

I made a deal with the devil.

That's why I'm stuck in an infinite loop, repeating the goal that the devil gave me.

And what's that goal, you ask?

Selling 200 million albums.

Damn, I know what you're thinking.

You'd think I'm off my rocker?

It's hard enough to believe in the existence of devils, let alone that such beings would care about album sales.

But, damn,

I can't help but believe it.

'Cause even I think I'm crazy.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I've tried a lot of things in my life.

Ballads, rock, hip-hop, blues, alternative, even gospel.

I've tried every genre under the sun.

It wasn't just singing.

Composing, producing, and playing instruments like the keyboard and guitar.

I've done everything I can.

You all called me a genius, but I'm not.

I'm just a guy with a little bit of talent who has clung to one thing for a long ass time.

I mean, I spent decades in GOTM.

So, I guess it's time to admit it.

GOTM was the best team, the best band I could've ever made.

But they weren't enough to sell 200 million.

Ah, I'm not saying that they were lacking.

Like I said, they were the best band.

It was me who was lacking.

This is the first time I'm leaving a message before a regression, so I might be rambling a bit.

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you.

Sincerely.

…This is awkward, so let me change the subject.

What should I talk about?

How about the fact that I was on the same team with Dave three times even before GOTM?

It's not as bad now, but when I first met him, he was a sight to behold.

He was so fucking weird.

I think the first time I met him was at a drug rehab center in Chicago, actually.

Flick.

I, Han Si-On, who had just finished his drink, got up and pulled the curtains open.

I, Han Si-On, who was witnessing the breathtaking night view of LA, a view that you could only get from a top-tier hotel, greeted him but didn't feel anything.

Since this life will be over tomorrow, let's go.

And maybe in the next life–.

"Damn Idols"

Looks like I gotta do the thing I hate the most.

 ***

Album 1. Regression Again

-And the glorious winner of the Grammy Award for Album of the Year goes to the...!

-Gram Of The Minute!

-GOTM! Congratulations!

The moment the name of the band GOTM was called, the four men sitting next to Han Si-On jumped up and cheered.

"It's a fucking Grammy! We're Grammy winners!"

"What are you doing? Cap! Get up!"

"Si-On!"

The music celebrating their win, the flashing lights, and the applause filled the air.

All the glory filled the atmosphere.

But Han Si-On's face was expressionless.

Of course, people thought he was just suppressing his excitement.

How could he not be happy?

GOTM, with its Asian vocalist, had a hard time making it in America, so how much effort did they put in to finally make it big?

Meanwhile, Han Si-On, who had stepped onto the stage, looked at his friends and grabbed the microphone.

"Thank you all for everything."

It was a greeting with a strange nuance.

…As if this was the end.

"I'll never forget this. No matter how many more lives I live, there will never be a more perfect band than this."

People waited for Han Si-On to continue, but that was it.

He walked off the stage without even looking at the award that the presenter was handing him.

The audience was momentarily taken aback by the unexpected turn of events but soon became curious.

They thought it was a planned award performance.

The Grammy cameramen was following Han Si-On's back thinking the same thing.

But he never came out.

"Si-On!"

"Cap!"

The rest of GOTM, who had finally come to their senses, went looking for their leader.

But Han Si-On was nowhere to be seen in the Staples Center.

A few hours later, all they found was an old tape recorder left in Han Si-On's hotel room.

***

At the same time that the rest of GOTM were looking for their leader…

Han Si-On was standing at a crossroads.

It did not make sense.

He had traveled over 40 miles (64km) from the Staples Center in just a few minutes.

Moreover, numerous drivers passing by did not seem to notice that someone was standing in the middle of the crossroad.

Vroom-!

Even though a huge truck passed by, Han Si-On's clothes did not even flutter.

The people were in different dimensions.

Han Si-On, who had been looking up at the gloomy sky, lowered his head.

A detestable message appeared.

[Mission failed.]

At that moment, the crossroads began to overlap.

There are crossroads everywhere in the world.

There are probably hundreds in L.A. alone, and tens of thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands, in the entire U.S.

How many would there be on the entire planet?

All those crossroads gathered around Han Si-On and merged together.

The colors had disappeared.

When all the colors mix, the resulting color is black.

And just like that, when the world was covered in black,

[You will regress.]

He was back to 19 again.

***

Beep- Beep-

The firefighters who had been dispatched at 3 AM were speechless at the horrific scene of the accident.

Experienced firefighters can instinctively sense whether an accident scene holds survivors or victims the moment they arrive.

This…this was a fatal accident.

A passenger car that had collided with a cargo truck at a crossroad was crumpled beyond recognition.

"Hurry up and collect the body and identify the victim..."

That was when it happened.

The youngest firefighter, who had rushed to the scene, screamed.

"T-They're alive!"

Surprisingly, all three members of the family who had been in the passenger car were still breathing.

Given the severity of the accident, their injuries were not as severe as expected.

One of them, a boy who looked to be in his late teens, had regained consciousness and was completely fine.

"Thank god."

Things happened quickly after that.

The firefighters transported the injured to the hospital and cleaned up the accident scene.

By the time they were done saving lives, the police and reporters had arrived.

Now, it was time to turn the accident into talking points and determine who was responsible for it.

As the team leader was preparing to leave, the youngest firefighter, who had first confirmed that the victims were alive, approached him.

"Sir, did you see that boy?"

"I did."

"Isn't it strange? How can he be so calm?"

"It's better than crying and screaming."

"But still-"

"Enough."

Yet, the team leader himself felt uneasy.

Even when his parents in the driver's and passenger's seats were passed out and covered in blood, the boy who had regained consciousness was eerily calm.

He gave the firefighters his parents' personal information and even gave them specific requests.

He asked them to take him to a certain hospital in Seongnam.

He said that his parents were doctors there.

His overly calm demeanor made people feel uneasy.

The boy was not trying to be calm.

He genuinely seemed unaffected by the horrific accident and his parents' condition.

"Stop the nonsense and radio HQ."

But the firefighters did not know.

They did not know that the boy, Han Si-On, had been through this same situation countless times and was now completely jaded.

This 'crossroad' was the starting point of his regressions.

***

"Mr. Han Si-On. How's your body feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"Are there any parts that feel uncomfortable or different?"

"No."

This is boring.

Accident date: December 7, 2016.

Discharge date: January 6, 2017.

The same schedule, every time.

There's nothing I can do during my month-long hospital stay.

I can't use my future knowledge until I'm discharged from the hospital and return to daily life.

That's why the hospital is always boring after I regress.

"Isn't that kid a little strange?"

"His parents are in a coma, but his attitude is a bit…"

"I get the creeps from that kid for no reason."

Of course, I know that my boredom and indifference make me look like a monster to other people.

But I've experienced this situation too many times to pretend to be sad.

And besides, there's no reason for me to look good to the nurses or the other patients who are gossiping about me.

"Ah, damn."

Right.

This life, I have to debut in Korea.

In the past, I would go to the U.S. as soon as I was discharged from the hospital, but not this time.

The moment I become an idol, those people's blabbering could affect my image.

That day, I burst into tears in my hospital room.

The nurses, who were surprised by my crying, came running, and I got an IV because I was dehydrated.

I hadn't had a single sip of water all day on purpose.

"He's in shock. He probably hasn't been able to accept it as reality yet."

"Loss is never something you can feel right away."

"Of course, he's not okay. His parents both became vegetative overnight."

"Oh, that's so sad."

Thanks to that, public opinion in the hospital changed completely.

And just like that, the boring month passed by, and the discharge date, which I had not even taken note of, was approaching.

"Si-On. Call me as soon as you get home. Okay?"

"Yeah. Don't worry."

"I'll come straight to your house after work."

"It's fine. You can't keep doing that."

"I will today, though."

"Okay."

The person who's clinging to me and showers me with empathy on the day of my discharge isn't my real uncle.

But he's someone who's a hundred times more precious than my relatives, who are only after my parents' inheritance.

Kim Hyun-soo.

He's my parents' medical school junior and a doctor at the same hospital.

He's been trying to take care of me ever since my parents were declared to be in a vegetative state.

To be honest, there were a lot of times when I found this uncle annoying.

Constantly calling, visiting, worrying.

And it wasn't just when I was in Korea. He was the same even after I went to the U.S.

Uh, which regression was it?

I think it was when I was playing the guitar in Chicago. I was a drug addict then.

I had been prescribed antidepressants, which is classified as a narcotic, and I had become addicted to it.

Well, it's pretty common in the U.S.

But when Uncle Hyun-Soo found out, he quit his job.

And then he followed me around all day like he was my manager.

…Until I was completely clean.

He's a kind person, and he's always been the same.

To be honest, I wouldn't have been able to survive the early days of my regressions without Uncle Hyun-Soo.

"I'll call you."

"Okay. But what's that in your hand? Is that a notebook?"

"Oh, just some doodles I did in the hospital 'cause I was bored. It'd be a waste to throw it away."

Uncle Hyun-Soo smiled.

"Yeah. It's good to express your emotions. Your dream was to be a singer, right?"

"It was…"

"Huh? Not anymore?"

"Ah, no. I'm going to be a singer. I don't know when my dream changed, though."

"Huh?"

"By the way, Uncle. You should stop overeating. People who overeat a lot can get GERD."

"Hey, you little shit. I'm a doctor. Gastroesophageal reflux disease is caused by a–"

"Anyway, just eat in moderation."

No matter how many times I tell him, my uncle's overeating doesn't change, but that's just how he is.

And so, after saying goodbye to my uncle, I got into a taxi.

TL/n - 

Ballads are narrative songs that tell a story, often about love, loss, or heroism. They typically have a slow tempo and emphasize melody and emotion. Ballads can be found in various genres, including rock, pop, and folk.

Rock music originated in the 1950s and is characterized by a strong beat, simple chord progressions, and often loud and energetic performances. It incorporates electric guitars, bass, drums, and sometimes keyboards. Sub-genres include classic rock, punk rock, and alternative rock.

Hip-Hop is a genre that emerged in the 1970s in the Bronx, New York. It includes rhythmic music (often with a strong beat) and rapping, which is a vocal style that incorporates rhythm and rhyme. Hip-hop culture also includes DJing, graffiti art, and breakdancing.

Blues music originated in the African American communities of the Deep South in the late 19th century. It is characterized by its use of the blues scale, call-and-response patterns, and lyrics that often deal with themes of sorrow and hardship. Instruments commonly used include the guitar, harmonica, and piano.

Alternative music is a broad genre that encompasses various styles that differ from mainstream pop and rock. It often includes elements of punk, post-punk, and indie rock. Alternative music is known for its experimental approach and independent ethos.

Gospel music is a genre of Christian music that originated in the African American church. It is characterized by its powerful vocals, use of choirs, and themes of praise and worship. Gospel music has influenced many other genres, including soul and R&B.

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Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) is a condition in which stomach acid repeatedly flows back up into the esophagus, causing irritation and discomfort.