Chapter 25

A Game of Cat and Mouse

"Not good. This is not good at all." I say to myself as I'm perched on the edge of a roof. "Okay Alvarcus, let's go find a cat while avoiding Cat. This is going to be a long mission."

"I think it will be rather short actually." Oh great, Cat is behind me already.

"Hey Cat." I turn around to the masked nin.

"Hello Mouse." Cat says.

"You're getting some sick form of enjoyment out of this aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you mean, my Kage gave me a mission and it is my duty to complete it." Cat draws his standard ANBU tanto. "My personal enjoyment is irrelevant."

"Okay, let's set some ground rules here. I'm going to use whatever force you use against me. Even if I can reattach a limb does not mean it doesn't hurt. Basically I'll let you set the mood for this... scuffle? Battle doesn't sound right." I still can't believe Tsunade did this to me.

"Fair enough." With those words Cat lunges at me. I casually let myself fall of the side of the roof we were on and land on the ground. I sprint away from my pursuer.

I need to find Tora. Better yet, I need to lose Cat. How can I do that? First thing is first I need eyes on him. I use my one and only genjutsu, Eyes of the Damned, to have eyes in the back of my head. I stumble for a few steps until I get used to the new visual input. I've never tried to use this in battle before.

Cat draws a kunai and throws it at my right leg. Going to slow me down and then restrain me no doubt about that.

"So, now we're using live weapons?" I call over my shoulder as I redirect the kunai back to its owner. "How fun!"

In response to my cockiness Cat just throws more kunai at me. I send them all back or into the ground. Gotta remember that I am still in the village, we don't want to accidentally hurt someone. Well, anyone who isn't participating.

"Oi! Cat, I'm going to head to the Forest of Death. Follow me if you dare!"

This person is good. No matter how I try to lose them they stay right with me. Maybe Cat is a sensor?

"Hey Cat, are you a sensor? Because you are really good at following me."

"No." Is Cats short reply.

Cat also replied with some shuriken, but that doesn't matter. Once we get into the training ground areas Cat steps up the game.

The world twists and turns, up is down, left is right, greens become purples, everything changes.

~The host will not be ensnared!~

Pain! The Jiongu freed me from Cat's illusion. Really glad I have that going for me otherwise I would have been caught right there.

"So now I can use genjutsu. Great!" It isn't at all. I only have one genjutsu, but there is no need for Cat to know that.

Everything becomes dark.

Pain!

"Really? Trying to remove my sight? Lame. I know gennin who can do better than that!"

Pain!

"Okay, I don't even know what that one was. I'm going to hazard a guess and say it was your last Friday night. There was blood everywhere."

Pain!

"Come on! Did you not see me in the Final Tournament? Did you really think a tentacle monster was going to scare me of all people? Although I've got to give you some credit, I thought I was the only person to think of something like that. And the attention to detail was simply outstanding! Cat... I have to ask. That wasn't some weird fetish genjutsu you just used on me was it? Cuz that is so wrong!"

Pain!

"Seriously dude, genjutsu isn't going to work. Try something else already. I'm running out of creative quips to piss you off."

"Fine!" Finally, I got Cat to react with emotion. Every other time they spoke it has been in a monotonous business voice. ANBU really need to lighten up. "Earth Release: Four Walls!"

Four walls of earth raise up around me. If I was any less aware I would have run straight into one.

"Finally! Ninjutsu! This farce is over now."

I create twenty illusionary clones with orders to run away in different directions. To make things even better I add in a water clone and an earth clone, this way two of the clones will affect the environment and hopefully Cat will chase it thinking one of them is me. My small clone army leaps out of the box and scatters in every direction.

I don't leave the box, I'm waiting for my water or earth clone to draw Cat a sufficient distance away. Another ten seconds pass and I jump out.

"Ha-ha! Take that! Finally lost you. I thought ANBU members would be better than that. Getting tricked with basic clones. Shameful."

A hand falls on my shoulder. "We are." Crap. "Now, tell me why you were running from ANBU Cat."

"Wait what?" I turn to look at the owner of the hand on my shoulder. They look almost exactly like Cat, there is only one difference. They are wearing a Monkey mask.

"Oh. You'll probably not believe me." The hand squeezes tighter. "Fine, calm down. Basically I pissed off the Hokage because I sorta maybe cheated on a bet we made and my punishment is to catch Tora while Cat tries to stop me. I'm not actually in trouble."

"He is not lying Monkey." Oh come on I lost my chance to escape! Cat is back and is wet. He got my water clone. I'm half tempted to make a wet pussy joke. "If you would be so kind as to hand him over to me, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Interesting. You're using teamwork against me? Guess that means I can respond in kind." I grin evilly at Cat. "Just remember, you brought this on yourself. Oh by the way, I'm a clone too. An exploding clone. Boom."

Monkey immediately releases my shoulder and leaps away with Cat.

"Kidding!" Misdirection is one hell of a tool.

I use the replacement technique on a nearby log and scamper towards the Uchiha Compound. I don't bother to knock, I barge right inside. Sasuke is reading a book. Wow, never thought I would see that.

"Sasuke I need your help. No time to explain we have to catch Tora while ANBU tries to stop us. You in?"

He snaps his book shut.

"What's off limits?" He starts grabbing mission gear, weapons and the like.

"Whatever they use we can use too. So far, thrown projectiles, genjutsu, ninjutsu and teamwork." I quickly explain. The ANBU should have been here by now.

"Teamwork huh? How many people do you want to involve?" He walks over to me ready to go.

"I figure I'll match their number. So far Cat is the ringleader and has recruited Monkey for assistance. They're trying to restrain us so we can't get Tora. I figure they win if I'm presented to the Hokage in chains, and we win if we get Tora to the Hokage. Simple enough really."

"Why haven't they slapped a chakra suppression seal on you yet? That would make it child's play."

That is a great question. Why haven't they done that yet?

"Maybe they're having fun? Besides it wouldn't work on me. I think. The Jiongu isn't chakra so it can just remove the seal for me."

"Sweet. We can use that to our advantage." Sasuke plans ahead. "If you're slapped with a seal play caught if it is advantageous. Now the real question is why haven't they come inside yet?"

"Probably setting up an ambush for when we leave. Or they just respect the Last Uchiha that much."

"You should be more like them. Just barging into my home without a warning? How rude."

"Please, you were bored out of your mind. You were reading! You don't read books."

Sasuke actually looks offended. "Of course I read books! I just usually have better things to do." I stare at him. "Fine, I was bored. Come on, let's go play with some ANBU."

We boldly walk out his front door. We don't falter, we stride forward like nothing can touch us. Nothing does touch us, in fact there is no ANBU here at all.

"Well that's not right. I know they followed me here. Oh crap, I bet they went for more reinforcements."

"If you lied about this just to get me out of the house, I will hurt you." Sasuke draws a kunai menacingly and points it in my direction.

"He didn't lie." Cat is back! Good, Sasuke was about to go stab crazy. "He was right, I got backup."

Suddenly eight more ANBU join Cat for a total of nine. Cat, Monkey, Boar, Hawk, Wolf, Panther, Zebra, Hare and Bear.

"Oh come on!" I cry to the Heavens. "Three ANBU teams? THREE? This is overkill!"

Sasuke and I are standing back to back, surrounded by some of the best shinobi Konoha has to offer. Wonderful.

"How are there this many of you free? I thought Tsunade is running you all ragged."

"There has to be a minimum number of ANBU in the village at all times. We're just a fraction of that number." Cat tells Sasuke and me. "Now, will you surrender or do I need to start stabbing you?"

"How about no?" I reply with as much sassiness as I can. I toss all of my kunai in the air and start whirling them around us using my chakra strings. "Metal Tornado!"

"Really?" Sasuke tosses his kunai in the air for me to use too. Good teammate! "You're calling this Metal Tornado? Lame."

I give him a stink eye. "What would you call it?"

"Whirling Death." He didn't even have to think it over.

"You've thought about this before haven't you?"

"No!" He denies. "...Maybe. Okay this move is actually really cool. One of the few I wish I could do. Do you have any idea how complex this is? Chakra is everywhere, if my Sharingan was on I couldn't see out of this."

"Really? I wonder if I can use that against a Byakugan. We can talk about how awesome I am later, this isn't getting us anywhere. It's just keeping them from us."

The ANBU aren't even phased, they're just waiting. Probably for me to run out of chakra.

"Any idea on how to get away?"

"Remember what you and Gamabunta did?" Sasuke smirks.

"Oh, that's a brilliant idea! You'll need to do the fire, I'll do the wind." Suddenly the ANBU become tense. "Hurry, they heard us."

"GRAND FIREBALL!" Sasuke spits out a huge fireball towards Cat.

"Wind Release: PRESSURE DAMAGE!" A gale of wind rips from my mouth.

Sasuke's fire spreads wider and burns hotter than ever before.

"It's beautiful." I say to Sasuke. "We have to do this in battle sometime."

Sasuke thwacks me in the head. "Less talking more running. Douse us in water and we'll run through the flames." I do as asked and soak us both. Even with our bodies covered in water, the flames still gave us minor burns.

"What's your plan?" Sasuke asks me once we're a ways away from the bonfire we made. "Please say you have a plan."

"Cat got more people involved. I will too. How does the Rookie Nine sound? Me, you, Naruto, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Kiba, Hinata and Shino. It'll make it nine vs nine."

"Deal." Sasuke and I share an evil grin. "Who first?"

"Shino. He's probably at his clan compound and he will know where both Kiba and Hinata will be. Then we have a team that specializes in tracking to find the other three." With my logic explained we take off towards the Aburame Compound.

"Hello Aburame-san." I warmly greet the gate guard. "Is Shino in? Sasuke and I have a request for him."

"He is. Do you remember the way?" The Aburame asks. He's the same one I met before apparently, I couldn't tell. I don't spend enough time around them to tell them apart.

"I do, thank you." I lead Sasuke through the compound to Shino's house.

I knock on the door. "Hey Shino! You have a couple hours I need some help!"

Shino opens the door. "What do you need this time Alvarcus?"

"The idiot pissed off the Hokage." Sasuke bluntly informs Shino of what's going on. "She gave him a Tora mission in revenge. Then he made her more mad so she assigned ANBU to try and stop him. Basically we're evening the numbers. ANBU has nine people."

"What are the mission parameters?" Shino professionally asks.

I talk this time before Sasuke can. "I need to get Tora to Tsunade before ANBU gets me to Tsunade. Only lethal force is forbidden at this point."

"I'm in." Shino says quickly, almost eagerly.

"Huh. That was way easier than I thought it would be. Do you know where the rest of your team is? I'm recruiting the Rookie Nine."

"Yes. Kiba will be closer, follow me." Shino takes off towards Kiba. Hopefully. I trust him to know where Kiba is, he probably has a bug on each of this teammates.

We find Kiba without running into the ANBU members at all. I don't doubt that they know what I'm doing, I think they want me to get more people involved.

We enter an Inuzuka run vet shop at Shino's prompting. "Oi! Kiba you in here?"

Kiba walks out of the back room. "Alvarcus? How ya been? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Same old same old." I warmly reply. "Pissed off the Hokage and she forced a Tora mission on me while ANBU try and stop me. I need help, you in?"

"You mean I can fight against ANBU and not get in trouble? Hell ya I'm in!" Good old Kiba, always ready for a brawl.

"Awesome!" I turn to include Shino in the next part of my plan. "We're going after Hinata next. Either of you two know where she is?"

Shino answers my question. "Her clan compound."

"Lead the way." Sasuke says.

Again, we aren't interrupted by ANBU members on our run. "Shino, Kiba, can either of you tell if ANBU is tracking us?"

"They are." Kiba assures me. How concerning. "Nine different scents have been following us. If I didn't have Akamaru here I would have never noticed. His nose is better than mine."

"I can support his number. My beetles have noticed nine chakra signals tailing us." Shino adds in.

"Great." I groan out. "They're planning something."

"We'll be fine. They're just letting us get all of the Rookie Nine together before we fight. They must want to test us in their own way." Sasuke hypothesizes. It isn't a bad idea, in fact it could very well happen.

We walk up to the gate guard of the Hyuuga clan. "Hyuuga-san, we would like to talk with Hinata. Is she in?" I diplomatically ask. This clan is sticklers for formality.

"Yes, I will see if she wants to speak with you all. Remain here, I will return." The Hyuuga disappears into the compound.

"Wow, I can feel my fun being killed just by standing outside." I crack joke. I get a few chuckles.

"Here is Hinata-sama." The Hyuuga guard returns with Hinata and Hiashi. Uh-oh, Daddy came to see who wanted to talk to his daughter.

"You wished to speak with me, Alvarcus-san?" Hinata timidly asks.

"Yep!" I merrily reply. "I've found myself in a unique situation and I want your help."

"Ah, so it is you who has ANBU running around the village." Hiashi cuts into our conversation. "How goes the search for Tora?"

I sheepishly rub the back of my head. "Not well, you see it was supposed to be just Cat trying to stop me, but Cat went and involved more ANBU. Three teams worth, so I figure I'll match them person for person. Pretty much it is going to be a showdown between them and the Rookie Nine, will ANBU get me to Tsunade before I can get Tora to Tsunade." I turn to Hinata. "What do you say? Want to help us kick some ANBU ass? Or fail horribly. Either way it promises to be fun!"

"I-I don't think..." Hinata starts to say.

I cut her off. "Good! Don't think, if I thought this through I would have surrendered half a hour ago! Just say yes. We need you."

"But I'm not strong enough." She meekly squeaks out.

I laugh in amusement, everyone looks at me in bewilderment. "Hinata, these are ANBU we're going against. None of us are strong enough. Each of them will be stronger than us, but do you see anyone else backing down? It isn't like we have to defeat them, just keep them away from me until I get Tora to Tsunade. You're perfect for this! The Byakugan and the gentle fist are made for these kinds of situations."

"I-I suppose I could... If it is okay with tou-sama?" She looks at her father. We all look at her father.

"Go, enjoy time with your friends. When you return I'd like to hear about this mission of yours." Hiashi wants to know about the mission? Actually how did he even know about it in the first place?

"Hiashi-sama, will you permit me a question?" I ask him. He nods his consent. "How did you know about my mission?"

"You dived out of the Hokage tower while screaming about ANBU dismembering you. Word travels fast in shinobi villages. Word about ANBU travels even faster. Not to mention the huge blast of fire near the Uchiha compound."

"Ah. That would do it. Thanks!" I turn towards my group of followers. "Alright team! We need to find Ino next. She'll be useful in convincing Shikamaru and Choji to help. Anyone know where she might be?"

"She works at her parents flower shop when not taking missions. We can start there." Sasuke replies. Everyone stares at him in surprise. "What? She talked non-stop to me during the Academy, did you all think I wasn't listening? She talked about her flower shop a lot. I bet we can find her there. Come on, I know where it is."

"Sasuke you scoundrel!" I whistle suggestively at him. "Has Ino captured your heart and you haven't told us?"

"Oh just shut up and follow me." He takes off in a run. We all follow him to Ino.

"Yamanaka flowers how can I – Oh! Hi everyone! What's the occasion? Are we finally having an intervention for Shikamaru? He really needs to quit being so lazy."

"No, nothing like that." Sasuke of all people says to Ino. "Alvarcus here," He points to me and I wave at Ino cheerfully, "needs help on a mission. A Tora mission. While nine ANBU try to stop him. We want your help."

Ino's eyes gleam in unsurpassed joy. "Sasuke-kun needs my help?"

"Yeah, let's go with that." Kiba cuts in with a grin. I give him a thumbs up behind Sasuke's back.

"TOU-SAN!" Ino yells into the back of the store. Inoichi walks out to us. "Can I go with my friends? They need my help with a mission."

Inoichi looks straight to me. "Is this the Tora mission I've been hearing about? The one with the ANBU?"

"Uh... Yes?" I weakly reply.

"Good! Go have fun honey." With that Inoichi walks back into the storage room of the store. He calls out to Ino, "If any of the ANBU hurt you let me know. I have a few new techniques I want to try out and if my hypothesis is correct it could be very painful. It will probably take multiple times for me to get it right."

"Wow. That was..." I trail off.

"Unexpected?" Shino adds.

"Yeah. Unexpected." I turn to Ino. "Pretty much I'm gathering the Rookie Nine. Do you know where Shikamaru and Choji are at?"

"Yeah!" She slams her hands together. "Let's go!"

We all follow Ino to a park. Sure enough, both Choji and Shikamaru are laying in the grass watching clouds.

"OI! GET UP!" Ino is loud when she wants to be. I think my ears are ringing.

"Don't wanna." Is Shikamaru's reply.

"Shikamaru. You have till the count of three, or I punish you." That is what she said to me during the Chunin Exams. I didn't know she actually used that on Shikamaru. "One. Two."

"Alright, alright. I'm up, happy?" Shikamaru takes us all in. "Woah. Something wrong? Last time we were all in one spot was the Chunin Exams."

"I need your help." No need to beat around the bush with Shikamaru. He likes things blunt.

"What's in it for me?" He asks.

"I'll go on a mission of your choice with you and let you slack off as much as you want?" I offer.

"Deal!" That was a fast response. I did promise him a free paycheck.

I turn to Choji. "How about you Choji? You in or do I have to bribe you too?"

"I'm in. I wouldn't want to miss out on something that needs this many nin. What are we doing anyways?"

"Oh it's great!" Kiba cuts in. "Alvarcus here pissed off the Hokage so she gave him a Tora mission."

"I don't see why that needs nine of us to do. Yeah Tora missions suck, but they aren't that bad." Shikamaru adds.

Shino takes up the reins. "He got ANBU assigned to stop him. There are nine of them surrounding us as we speak."

Shikamaru turns to me. "I hate you. Why would you include me in this?"

And like that, the Rookie Nine is confronted by ANBU. Cat, Monkey, Boar, Hawk, Wolf, Panther, Zebra, Hare and Bear. Good, none of them have changed.

Cat walks towards us. I walk towards Cat. We meet halfway between the two groups.

"Alvarcus, you have amassed quite a force. Will you surrender? This is your last chance. You have to realize how outclassed you all are."

I raise myself up to my full height. Sadly I still fall short of each ANBU. Stupid twelve year old body. "No. We will not surrender. I will get Tora to the Hokage. You and your posse will not stop me. Now, I ask you, will you leave us to complete our mission?"

Cat turns to the rest of the ANBU. "ANBU! This gennin has asked us to give up. Do ANBU give up?"

"No." The other eight ANBU chant in unison.

"Do we surrender?" Cat yells to the group.

"No." Eight voices ring out.

Cat turns back to me. "There's your answer. ANBU do not give up, ANBU do not surrender. We go on until the last breath."

"Rookie Nine!" I call over my shoulder. "You heard the ANBU. We go until the end. Rules for engagement?"

Cat lays down some basic rules. "Non-lethal attacks only. Restrain, not kill. If someone surrenders, they are free to leave. No one will stop them. Once a person is caught or knocked unconscious, they are out and cannot rejoin the battle. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

With those words all of us fall into a tense silence. No one moves. Cat and I are only a few meters away. Either of us could close that distance in a fraction of a second. It is a stalemate to see who moves first. Cat or me.

The sound of footsteps brakes the silence. One of the Rookie Nine is walking towards me. They stop to my right and I spare them a glance. It is Sasuke.

"Until the end." He grimly says as he turns on his Sharingan.

Monkey walks forwards and stands in front of Sasuke and to Cat's left.

Kiba comes up and stands on my left. "We're going to kick some major ass today."

Boar stands before Kiba.

Ino struts up next, "Fighting ANBU? Never thought I would do this today." She stands next to Sasuke.

Hawk stands before her.

Hinata approaches our line. She doesn't say anything, but I can tell there is a lot of fear in her eyes. But beneath that is a fire.

Wolf stands before her.

Choji walks up next, with a noticeable absence of his chips. "This will be one hell of a story to tell."

Panther stands before him.

Shino quietly moves to Hinata's side. He remains silent, but there is an audible buzz around him. His insects are ready to battle, they are excited.

Zebra stands before him.

Shikamaru lazily walks next to Choji. "Did I mention I hate you Alvarcus? Making me fight ANBU."

Hare stands before him.

"A-Alvarcus?" Hinata breaks the silence. "I think we forgot Naruto."

"Aw crap." The ANBU chuckle at my response. "We forgot Naruto. How did we forget Naruto?"

Bear walks forwards, standing behind Cat. "Naruto is not in the village. You will just have to deal with the disadvantage of numbers."

"Really?" I smirk. "Because if my math is right, we have the number advantage." Sasuke chuckles maliciously. He knows what I am going to do.

Cat just tilts his head a little to the side. "Have you had a concussion recently? You have eight, we have nine."

"No." I take off my shirt and throw it off to the side. I hear a few gasps from the Rookie Nine. "You have nine." I push out my earth, water, wind and one of my lightning hearts. My monsters protectively stand between us and the ANBU. "We have twelve."

"So it would seem." Cat calmly replies.

A tense silence falls again. No one moves. No one talks. No one blinks.

Slowly, I form ten chakra strings from my fingers. I let them slither across the ground towards the ANBU members. Cat gets two going towards him, he is the one who escalated things this far.

Suddenly Hawk tenses. "ANBU back!" He calls out.

I lash out my strings and make them into lightning whips. The time for stealth is over. I graze Cat, Monkey and Boar, and somehow catch Wolf. Wolf get's a nasty shock and is knocked unconscious. I drop him to the ground.

The rest of the ANBU made it into the treeline. They could come at us from any angle.

"One down." I call out, taunting the ANBU teams. None of the gennin have scattered, we're sticking together. "Alright, I know we did that cool one at a time walk up and face off, but please stay in your gennin teams. These are ANBU, the only reason I caught Wolf was because I got lucky. You all know your strengths, play to them. Use every trick you can. We won't win if we play fair." I will my monsters to set up a protective perimeter around us. ANBU will have to get through them first.

Suddenly everything is dark. Pain! I can see again. "KAI!" I pulse a large amount of chakra to break the genjutsu on everyone.

"One down." Cat calls out to me, throwing my earlier insult back in my face.

"Who is down?" Shikamaru asks.

"Akamaru. They took Akamaru." Kiba sounds livid. In fact all of team eight has a subtle hint of fury about them now. Hinata's fear is gone. Shino is buzzing like crazy. Kiba is trembling with rage.

"Make them pay." Sasuke says.

"Do remember that Akamaru is fine, they won't hurt him." I chime in.

A hand bursts from the ground and grabs my ankle. "Oh shit!" I'm yanked up to my waist in the ground before Choji grabs me by the arm.

"I got ya." He assures me. "You're going no where."

Shino sprints over and lightly touches the earth with a flat palm. I hear a grunt of pain from below and the hand on my ankle lets go.

"Thanks." I dust myself off. "Did you have your beetles do that?"

"Yes. They burrowed and bit the one below." Shino clarifies.

"Two down." Cat's voice call through the air.

"Who got hit?" Ino calls out.

No one answers. Suddenly feathers are falling down all around us, it is the genjutsu used in the Chunin Exams. Pain!

The Jiongu broke me out in time to see Monkey, Zebra and Bear all charging across the arena having dodged around my thread monsters. I slump to my knees, acting like I'm caught in the genjutsu. Once they are almost on top of us I can determine their targets.

They're me, Sasuke, and Shino. I lash out with my lightning whips at Monkey and he dodges six of them. The other four connect and shock him into unconsciousness. Sasuke throws a kunai in the leg of Zebra causing him to fall. Bear makes away with an unconscious Shino. Damn, I thought his insects would wake him up like my Jiongu does.

"Kai." Sasuke pulses his chakra. Good thing his Sharingan can see through genjutsu. He walks over to the fallen Zebra and points a kunai at him. "Dead." Zebra nods in agreement.

"Three down." I call out. "We're winning."

Hare explodes out of the earth behind Hinata. Which was a major mistake, you can't sneak up on a Hyuuga like that, not when they're prepared for it. Hinata twirls around and slams her palms into Hare repeatedly.

"Damn Hinata, that was awesome." Kiba says to his teammate.

"Four down! You getting nervous yet!" Maybe we can win this!

"Lightning Release: Independent Cubes." A very gruff voice calls out. Cubes of electricity form around each of us. Not even my monsters are spared, this is one hell of a technique.

"Uh-oh. That ain't good." I say.

"Twelve down, and that's game over." Cat calls out. "We have you all caught."

"Let's put that to the test, shall we? Chidori!" Sasuke slams his fist of lightning into one of the walls containing him. The cube shatters. "You were saying?" I can feel the pride swelling within him.

"Good thinking! Besides it isn't over till Tsunade says so! Lightning Release: False Darkness!" Lighting rips from my mouth and spears into the side of my cube. Mine doesn't shatter, it wasn't enough.

"Partial Expansion Just!" Choji's voice is accompanied by the sound of dull thud. "Dammit, I thought that would work. I've crushed boulders with that."

"Sasuke! It's only you! I don't think anyone else can get out!" I call out to my friend.

Sasuke sprints towards my prison. All of the remaining ANBU appear to stop him. He dodges everything they try. Kunai, fire, water, earth, lightning. He dodges it all. He's only a meter away from my cage. He' going to make it!

"Chidori!" His hand is engulfed in blue lightning once more. He's half a meter away when Tsunade herself grabs him by the scruff of the neck and throws him away from me.

"Will someone please tell me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" She rounds on me and punches the cube. It breaks like glass from her strength alone. "You! I know you caused this!"

"It was all Cat's fault!" I point at him accusingly. "He escalated everything I just responded in kind!"

"I gave you a D-rank. A D-rank! How can it possibly turn into this! Explain now!" She towers over me with pure rage in her eyes.

I shrink on myself. "Well, when Cat started chasing me I said I would respond to what he attacked me with. First it was kunai, then it was genjutsu, then ninjutsu, then teamwork. Monkey helped Cat out, so I went and got Sasuke."

"And? How did it escalate to a full on shinobi brawl in the middle of a park?" Oh boy, she's right. We never left the park we found Shikamaru and Choji at.

"I'm getting there?" I squeak out. "While I was convincing Sasuke to help me Cat and Monkey got more ANBU to help, for a total of nine." I take a breath. "I figured I'd grab the Rookie Nine to even the playing field. The last two we got were Shikamaru and Choji, who were here. Then we confronted each other and... this happened?" I gesture to the newly terraformed park. We didn't cause that much damage, but you can definitely tell it's different. I'm really glad I didn't use any high level ninjutsu here otherwise there wouldn't be a park left. "Please don't hit me?"

"Let me see if I understood this right. I assign you a Tora mission and you somehow turn it into a Rookie Nine vs nine ANBU."

"That's... uh... yeah that is pretty much it." I hang my head in shame.

"You mean to tell me that nine gennin took down four of my ANBU?" She is absolutely furious. I messed up big time.

"Technically it was only eight gennin. Naruto is out of the village." Shikamaru adds in. He's smirking, that asshole is trying to get me in more trouble! Revenge for making him confront ANBU no doubt.

Tsunade throws her hands up in the air in pure disbelief. "That is even worse!" Wait, how is that worse? "All of the ANBU present are going through basic training again! And you better like it! Beaten by gennin! You're supposed to be the best of the best! My elite forces!"

Cat steps forward. "Hokage-sama, we held back on them. We didn't attack full force, if we did it would have been over in moments."

Tsunade whirls on him. "YOU! You're going through twice!" Cat actually takes a step back in fear. "I don't care why you were beat by gennin, you were beat by gennin! Not only that, you let this get out of hand. You're lucky I don't demote you." She turns to the path that leads into the park. "Show's over! Go do something else!"

Collectively we all look where Tsunade turned to. There is a huge crowd, a mix of civilian and shinobi. There are even a few vendor carts selling food and drink.

"Holy shit my tou-san is in there. I'm screwed." Shikamaru says. "Kami what am I going to do when kaa-san finds out?"

"I think I see my tou-san too." Ino adds on. She timidly waves, Inoichi waves back with a proud smile. "Yep, that's tou-san."

"You think you're screwed Shikamaru? My kaa-san is down there." Kiba says with Akamaru perched on his head again. Good, he got Akamaru back. "And she looks pissed!"

"This is most concerning." Shino adds. Whoa, where'd he come from?

Hinata is pale in pure terror. Either from the crowd looking at us or the fact that there are many Hyuugas present.

"Meh, if I had fun my parents won't care." Choji says while opening a bag of chips. "They're pretty cool like that."

Sasuke and I share a look. We're the only ones here without parents, we both know that we won't see their faces in the crowd.

"Well, this isn't awkward at all." I merrily say.

"Alright, show's over! Back to whatever it was you were doing before." Tsunade disbands the crowd. "Not you seventeen. My office. All of you. Now."

We get there in record time.

Tsunade stares each of us down, one at a time. "You all are never to do that again. Never again!"

Choruses of "Yes Hokage-sama" echo throughout the room.

"Good. Alvarcus clean up your mess." She points to a pile of dirt in the middle of the room. In fact it is right beneath me, it's where I usually stand when I come into the office.

"Hokage-sama? I'll clean it up I just want to know how it is my mess?" I don't remember tracking in that much dirt.

She grits her teeth. "Your earth clone brought in Tora fifteen minutes after you left my office."

"Ha-ha! Take that Cat I win!"

"Out!" Tsunade roars. "Now!"

We all exit through the door.

"Hey Cat?" I call out.

Cat turns to me. "Yes?"

"That was so much fun! Let's do it again sometime. But, you know, not get caught. Maybe if we went to the Forest of Death?"

Cat just laughs at me. "Sure kid." He leaves with the rest of the ANBU.

All of the gennin are staring at me. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"You're insane." Sasuke says. "You want to do that again?"

"Hell yeah I do! I haven't had that much fun in ages!"

OMAKE: The Wrath of a Father

"Which one of them hurt my baby!" Inoichi roars.

"Tou-san, it's barely a scratch. I've had worse paper cuts!" Ino remarks in irritation. "Heck I probably got it from a flower when I was at the store."

Inoichi's eyes narrow. "Which. One."

"I don't even remember all of their masks." She mutters to herself. "Uh... Cat? Yeah Cat. Let's go with that."

One Hour Later

"Sweet merciful Kami I didn't do it!" Cat yells. He's currently strapped to a unforgiving metal chair.

"I'll ask again." Inoichi firmly places his hand on Cat's head. "Why did you hurt my daughter?"

"I didn't do- AAAHHHHHHH!" Cat screeches in pain.

"This is the last time I'll ask." There's not a hint of mercy or regret in Inoichi's voice. "Why did you hurt my daughter?"

"Purple, because aliens don't wear hats." Cat drones out with glazed over eyes. "When I get home I'm going to throw pancakes into a river."

"That's a waste of good pancakes. Good attempt, but the techniques I'm using don't have that kind of a result." Inoichi tells his patient.

Instantly Cat is alert again, there's no need to keep up an act if it failed already. "Inoichi I didn't do it! I specifically told everyone there to avoid her!"

"Well the third technique didn't have the required result, let's move onto the next." Inoichi places his hand on Cat's head again. "There's only seventeen more to go!"