July 9th, 2023

How did this happen? I was floating in a vast sea of darkness, speckled with stars. It was a galaxy, a beautiful galaxy with nothing but darkness and tiny lights that were stars. Beautiful stars. This was supposed to be a peaceful, innocent afternoon. How did everything turn out so… horrible? Again with the stars. Again with the darkness. Until one single word shattered this quiet, peaceful world to bits.

"Hey." I shot up and found Lloyd staring at me, along with… 

"Mom? Is that you?" I whispered when I saw my mother standing behind my brother. My mom's eyes teared up and she hugged me, her gray braid swinging over her shoulder and brushing against my collarbone.

"Hi, baby." Mom rubbed my back with an airy sigh, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." I jerked away, a little too quickly.

"Good." Lloyd stood up and sat down next to me, his expression looking stern with a hint of betrayal, "Because boy, oh boy, do you have a lot of explaining to do." 

"Lloyd, son, leave her be. She just woke up-" Mom said gently but I held up a hand, cutting her off. Mom rubbed her arm, stepping back just a little bit while biting her lip.

"No, it's fine, Mom." I whispered, "You guys deserve an explanation. Both of you." I shifted so that I was facing Lloyd and my mom. Lloyd crossed his arms and I held back a wince. "Go ahead. Hit me. What do you wanna ask?"

"How long?" Lloyd gritted out.

"4 days." I whispered softly.

"God." Lloyd held his head, his leg shaking as he bounced it up and down, "How come you didn't think to tell us, Liv. To tell me?" Lloyd's eyes sparkled with hurt, "I'm your brother. Why did you even bother to hide this from me?" 

"Because I was scared you'd judge me, okay?" I snapped and Lloyd flinched back. I continued in a softer, gentler tone, "Because Dad is the exact same person I am now. I know what Dad is capable of, what Dad did." Mom winced but I still kept talking, "Despite that we're not the same people, we have the same spirit, the same power. I was afraid that if I told you, you would treat me differently. You'd be more careful and more cautious. You might even be, dare I say, afraid." I hugged myself, "This is why. Because I'm scared."

"W-why… Why would I judge you?" Lloyd stammered.

"My-" I bit down the frustration, "Lloyd, you've seen what Dad has been able to do firsthand. You fought him, for hell's sake!" I ignored the look on Mom's face when I swore, "What if you won't fight Dad next time? What if you fight me?"

"I will never fight you!" Lloyd got up, "You know I won't!"

"Oh, yeah?" I chuckled darkly as tears spilled down my cheeks, "Are you willing to promise me that, Lloyd?"

"Livana!" Mom cried out and I faced her. She was crying so hard that even my own heart ached, "Please, Livvy." Mom cupped my face, "Where are you, Livvy? Where is my innocent, beautiful daughter who knows that she's loved no matter what?"

"Mom." I pried her hands off my face and held them gently in my own hands. I kissed her palms and the back of her hands before letting them go. They fell to the ground like a butterfly. "Please. It's still me. I'm just… I…" I sobbed, "I'm sorry, Mom. Lloyd." My brother's eyes softened when he saw how hard I was holding back my uncontrollable tears.

"Liv." Lloyd grabbed my hand and then hugged me, "No, don't be sorry. Don't be sorry, sis, please." Lloyd was shaking when I started sobbing, "I'm sorry that I came off so confrontational. I'm sorry that I seemed like I was accusing you, pushing you on trial, and making it all so… tense. I was worried. I was so worried when I saw you attack Uncle Wu. When I saw you pass out, when I saw you lashing out, I was freaking out." 

Mom came onto the bed and she hugged us both, "My babies. It's gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay. We'll be okay." Mom kissed my forehead and then stroked Lloyd's hair, "I love you both. Shhh, don't cry."

"I'm sorry…" I sniffled, "I didn't mean to…"

"Shhh." Lloyd shushed me along with Mom humming a soft lullaby. Mom always knew how to calm me down with lullabies. Mom always knew what to do.

I just hope that I would have a sliver of my mom's knowledge so that I could survive.