Whole Ass Platoon

Romani nervously stood on a podium, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead as his gaze passed over several high class heroic spirits, his temperamental boss and three equally eccentric Masters that just so happened to be humanity's last hope against genuine extinction.

"Well, I doubt I could outdo Nicholas's speech just now... even though I still don't get why he would give one." He decided to start off on a lighthearted tone in consideration of the potential damage the main topic was going to cause... There was a reason they were having a briefing here and not in the central command room.

Emiya snorted, holding up a hand, "Yeah, it was amazing until I realised he was talking about leading a midget uprising against 'tall' french oppressors."

"And what's wrong with that?!" The Master in question shouted back indignantly... from another corner of the sizable room they were in.

"EVERYTHING!"

"Yeah, the French ain't even all that tall Master." Mordred latched on to the wrong part of the argument, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, "If anything, they're kinda small."

"You don't get to call other people short."

"You're the same size as me!" Mordred shouted at her mother with a red face, getting only further annoyed when the older woman slowly turned around her head with a smug expression and pointed at her heeled shoes, "That doesn't count!"

"Heh..."

Ignoring the quarrelling servants entirely, Nicholas held up his own hand, "I feel like we don't even need a briefing if you think about it. I got a foolproof plan for dealing with Lev's bullshit."

"I feel like I know what that plan is already but... go ahead." Romani sighed in defeat, hanging his head low.

The doctor was pretty sure everyone in the room already knew this 'intricate' plan of Nicholas' without him even having to say it.

"We bash everyone's heads in. I get to see Jeanne D'Arc and we fuck up the french while we're at it."

"Erm senpai... Jeanne D'Arc is french too."

"Le Wot?"

"HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?!" Gudako looked about ready to punch Nicholas, going so far as to raise her clenched fist but ended up relenting, probably realising he would strike back much, much harder.

Nicholas deadpanned at the red haired teenager, "Course I know, I was just messing around... You on your period or something? Chill the fuck out."

"I shouldn't ask but... why is there a 'fuck up the french' part?" Olga massaged her forehead, pursing her lips and uncrossing her legs, "And can you please keep quiet? I need to know this."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you spent the whole day crying over how you're a failure."

"S-Shut up... I didn't cry!"

"Uh-huh, sure... Go ahead doc."

"Thank you." Romani sighed, resting both his hands on the podium. He could see why Olga was so easily annoyed as the head when everyone kept getting sidetracked over random shit every two seconds... It was like dealing with kids, "Right, from what we know thanks to LAPLACE, the divergence occurred in the Hundred Years' War, around the time the Saint of Orleans was wrongfully burned alive... as for the exact details, we'd need a team there because SHEBA is still malfunctioning."

"Shut that shit down already, it's probably gonna fuck with us considering who made it." Nicholas interjected again, visible annoyance on his usually unresponsive face.

Olga nodded her head, "I agree with him on this... I don't think we can trust anything to do with Lev, I'll have Da Vinci look into the other projects he was involved in once the response team is decided."

The 'extremely competent' Director stood up and walked to Romani's podium, "And I'll have Ritsuka Fujimaru sit this singularity out, one of the servants who stay behind can aid in her training." She pointed at the stumped teenager with a serious face.

"But I ha-"

"Senpai i-..."

"No buts, I'm sorry but you're both a liability and in danger yourself... My conclusion is only further cemented by the successful resuscitation of Hinako Akuta." She nodded at the still silent Yu who nodded back, "Now that we have two members of the A-Team capable of acting at full capacity, I can't put a civilian in danger... at least until you finish some rudimentary training."

Nicholas whistled abruptly, clapping his hands together once, "Look at all them fancy words... Didn't you were cool like that. I can vouch for the kid."

"You say that like you vouching would matter." Olga answered with an amused smile, crossing her arms under her chest.

"No no, you made it clear enough that it don't matter... if it did, Chaldea's staff would be alright."

Nicholas struck a low blow, and it hit hard judging by the sudden silence that descended on the room... Romani shook his head, trying to signal Nicholas about the severity of his words.

The Director's words made sense, Gudako was a lucky civilian by all accounts that just happened to be in the wrong or right place at the wrong or right time... They couldn't, in good conscience, put her in danger when there were alternatives.

"No wait, my bad... Even I didn't know he was gonna go all Al Qaeda on our asses."

Olga's body visibly relaxed, and Romani was a bit concerned... wasn't this a bit too much of an effect for words to have?

The good doctor smiled slightly.

Well, he was happy for them... they were kind of like his kids.

"You can make your case later, in my office." Olga spoke out again, stopping Gudako as soon as the girl opened her mouth to retort. She then turned to her second in command with a 'gentle' smile, "Now Doctor Romani, please take care of the team."

"..."

Romani stared at the tyrant in complete horror.

Realising that he was being ordered to dig his own grave, he wanted to say something but stopped himself and instead walked over to the podium with slow, shaking footsteps.

The doctor inhaled deeply.

"For certain safety reasons... I think we can only allow teams of up to three to be deployed at any point in ti-" Romani closed his eyes and as if he knew the future, ducked just in time to avoid a stream of searing flames and a massive sword, followed by a wave of dark energy, "W-Wait! It all depends on the Master! If he thinks he can support more at a time I have no problem!"

The highly explosive servants all dematerialised their individual weapons with practised expertise, getting back in their seats as if they hadn't just used a part of their noble phantasms over a bunch of words, without even hearing what the other party had to say.

"I mean, if we walking into the bitch with a whole ass platoon... Why can't Gudako come along?" Nicholas asked curiously, ignoring the daily antics of 'heroes of legend' that dressed like those people you found in dark alleys seeking donations.

"My name's Rits-... You know what? I don't care." Gudako threw her hands up in surrender before stomping off annoyed, "And for the record, I can totally do what he does!"

Nicholas nodded his head in agreement, "She's the trump card, let her gamble and she can say, 'Nah, I'd win.' and actually do it."

"W...Did he hit his head while I was gone or something?" Olga looked at a confused Romani who just shrugged in denial, "What is he even saying? Can anyone even understand his words?"

"Lady, 'the fuck is this', has been the only thought on my mind ever since I stepped foot in this asylum." Emiya answered, completely unamused.

Fortunately for them, their saviour was right there.

A Saint who had dedicated a significant amount of time to deciphering the vocabulary of retar-... 'gifted people', "He's saying she can hold her own better than most of the other Masters... And I agree, she dealt with a situation that would have many shaking and trembling in fear without any prior training whatsoever... It's actually absurd."

"...That's true." Olga silently reconsidered her decision.

S-She definitely didn't do it because Nicholas asked her to!

-

Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

-

You can find up to not 7 but 9 chapters ahead at patre0n.com/Bleap now.

Yeah, I increased it to 9. Wanted to go till 10 but something came up though I should be able to change that number to 10 soon enough.