Chapter 10: Mourn

-Yahizui-

The news of Izumi's death shook the entire Academy. How did it happen? Why did the teachers refuse to talk about it? No one seemed to know, and although everyone was shocked, three days later, the world seemed to return to normal. And yet, not for all.

Yahizui chewed on her fingernail as she tried to calculate the best moment to jump the fence. She was trembling with curiosity. On the other side, members of the Uchiha clan gathered for a private funeral. From her vantage point, all she could see were tens of dark-haired heads dressed in funeral garb. She looked down, making sure that she had the proper attire. All dark and modest; even her bright hair had been tucked under a dark headscarf. She was confident that if she jumped the fence and kept to the back of the procession, no one would even notice her.

Right! 

She took a deep breath, flexed her legs, and jumped, as silent as a cat. She was in!

"What are you doing here?"

Yahizui froze. How did he know she wanted to sneak in?

She turned around and came face to face with Itachi's tired figure. She took a moment to look at him; they hadn't seen eye to eye in a long time. He was a bit taller now, but not by much, and his hands and forearms had gathered new scratches and scars. Yet his face showed the biggest change. Itachi looked like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in days, dark circles rimming his eyes as stress lines started showing on his cheeks.

"Hey, I just wanted to –"

"Leave."

Yahizui's eyes widened. There was something in his posture, in his expression… something that told her he was different.

"What? Why?"

"This doesn't concern you, just leave," Itachi said once again, this time with more force.

His words pierced her. The way he looked at her, the way he talked to her… it felt like they weren't friends anymore. The realization made her arms tremble and her eyes sting.

"Izumi was just as much my classmate as she was part of this clan! She –"

"No, she wasn't," Itachi cut her off. "You never spoke of her, never liked interacting with her. You're here to see more, to satisfy your curiosity. So leave." His eyes were narrowed, shoulders tense. There was no hesitation in his voice, nothing that showed her he didn't mean his words.

"You have nothing to see here."

His words hurt, his attitude and the way he pushed her away miffed.

"What is wrong with you?" Yahizui said, her voice wavering. They'd been friends, hadn't they? Why was he acting like that? "

This is the first time I see you in ages, and I can't even tell who you are anymore! Is it so wrong of me to want to say my goodbyes to a classmate? No, we weren't friends, but people don't just drop dead from one day to another!" She felt the need to justify herself, to show that she wasn't here simply out of selfish reasons. 

"All I wanted was —"

"All you wanted was to see what happened. Here it is: people do drop dead from one day to another… every day. If you can't face that, quit trying to be a ninja."

Yahizui gasped. "When did you become an ass like the rest of them?"

Her pulse was roaring in her veins. How dare he? How dare he act like that, talk like that? It was as if the person before her was someone else, an impostor wearing Itachi's skin and speaking in his voice. Or maybe… maybe the arrogance and pride so specific to his clan had finally rubbed off on him and pulled out his true colors in the light of day. It didn't matter what the reason was… it hurt. She swiftly turned away, hoping he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"Fine, I'll leave," she said in a low voice. "I don't need friends like you anyway."

-Itachi-

The moment Yahizui left, Itachi returned to the small crowd of clan members, taking his place by Shisui's side. He could feel his cousin's eyes on him, could hear the questions he wanted to fire his way.

"It's better this way," he said after a moment of silence. "Yahizui will always be in danger if she remains close to me."

"Itachi…" said Shisui with worry in his voice. "What are you planning to do?"

"I'm going to join ANBU and…" He stopped, not knowing precisely what he would do. In the end, a whole platoon of ANBU was useless against the Snake Sannin. Hatake Kakashi was in the hospital for who knew how long and more than fifteen specially trained men and women were dead, butchered like cattle.

So, what could he do? Join and train? Join and hunt Orochimaru down? Join and… what?

"And I will stop him." This was all he could say.

At first, Itachi thought his dark thoughts were due to the well-known tendency of his clan to want revenge no matter the cost. It was only after the second sleepless night that he realized it was something more than that. He wanted justice; for their humiliation, for the Uchiha who had been killed, but also for the ANBU who had given up their lives in trying to stop him, and for Anko and all other victims that suffered because of him. Revenge was a selfish thing that left a bitter taste in his mouth. Justice was pure and fair. It was what he was meant to do, it was the right thing.

Shisui gave him a long look. "Alienating yourself from everyone is not the way, cousin."

Itachi looked at the people before him. They were all silent, yet there was little no to sadness on their faces. Besides the weeping figure of Shiori and the gentle consolations of his mother, all were silent and stone-faced. He looked up at the stiff figure of Shisui with his messy hair and the new dark circles that betrayed his own sleepless nights.

"I'll have you, won't I?"

At that, Shisui smiled. "Don't get a cheeky kid, and don't hurt the few friends you do have with your poorly guided self-sacrifice."

Itachi ignored him. He had done the right thing, he was sure of it. Yahizui was a civilian, and having her close to the Uchiha would only cause her trouble. In the long run… it was better this way. For him to be a real tool, a true soldier of Konoha, he would have to distance himself from the rest. The hunt for Orochimaru will put him in death-defying situations, and if it ever happened that something came back to haunt him, Itachi wanted to make sure that they wouldn't find anything they could hurt.

He was sure this was the right thing, but the glimpse of her tear-filled eyes as she turned away already haunted him.

 It wasn't until night fell and sleep evaded him once more that Itachi finally gave into his stupid, soft heart and left his room.