A not so peaceful lunch at Roswaal’s Mansion

Subaru raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about, loli? Don't you know about warm up exercises? Anyway, you'll ruin your pretty face if you don't smile. You see, just smile! Smile! Smile!"

"Betty being pretty is simply Betty's nature. But what is that 'loli' word, I wonder? I've never heard of it, yet it gives me such an uncomfortable feeling, I suppose."

"I mean, you're way too young for my tastes. I'd never go after girls who are younger than me," said Subaru.

"…To be so rude to Betty is also rather pitiful." With a pitying expression on her face, Beatrice sighed as she rested her weight on the chair. As it was, she picked up the glass similar to a wine glass on the table and quickly let the amber liquid pass down her throat. The girl looked at Mordred. "What's your relation to this weirdo, I wonder?"

"Passing acquaintance?... I suppose," Mordred said.

It appeared that Subaru and Beatrice had not met in the Forbidden Library before this point, which was not very surprising to Mordred given that Subaru didn't have the Witch of Envy's Authority and was sort-of delegated to being a side character by him.

"Well… It isn't wrong, but it still hurts me, Mo-san. I thought we began getting along well, like Manbat and Robin, you know!" Subaru said.

"Manbat?" Mordred asked, but Subaru didn't respond and instead looked around the table.

At this point in time, there were only three people in the dining room, and they were free to do whatever they wanted. There was a large table covered with a white tablecloth placed in the center of the large dining room, and there were about 10 chairs arranged around it, starting from the seat of honor in the front with the rest of the chairs along the sides.

There were several seats that were already equipped with dishware, so Subaru and Mordred could sit at any one of those seats. Beatrice had already sat herself at the closest seat to the seat of honor, sitting at the right. Other than that, there were two sets of dishware prepared at the left and one at the right next to Beatrice.

Simply put, no matter what, one of the lower seats would be the one that Subaru should go for.

"I'm gonna take the best seat!" Subaru said.

"That is a great choice. And it's obvious that it's the wrong one, in fact," commented Beatrice.

"Ehh, I'll just sit here." Mordred went and sat down next to Beatrice.

Beatrice only coldly glanced at Mordred and didn't comment, retracting her gaze.

"This must be where Emilia-tan usually sits, this must be where Ross-chi sits… This… Ehhh, so I don't actually have a choice?!"

'Hm, this must be Emilia-tan's seat. Right now the thought of our butts touching indirectly is making me giddy with excitement…' Subaru looked at one of the chairs, before regretfully sitting down at a farthest seat.

Breaking the three seconds of silence, Subaru said, "I wonder what stuff we'll be eating. I just hope it's normal food like in the capital."

"I'm not sure what you consider normal, Subaru, but I think we'll eat normal food," Mordred said as he rested his back on the chair and relaxed.

"Ah, good. Ross-chi is a pervert, so I worried we'd be eating bugs from now on or something. For real, bugs would be way too much. Why do those things even exist? Godddd, just look at them and the way they live their lives. Isn't their purpose in life simply to be killed and teach us the importance of life in our early years?"

Beatrice said, "If you oppress the weak, when you yourself are weak, you shall be oppressed by the strong. You should learn the significance of those words, in fact."

"Who are you anyway, drill loli?" Subaru asked as he looked at Beatrice.

"You have no right to ask Betty questions, I suppose. Show more respect, I suppose, human. I don't like your attitude," as if putting on an act in order to hold him back, the little girl gave a deliberate reply whilst elegantly tilting her glass.

"Huh, sounds like the rising of a flag…" Subaru muttered to himself, recalling Emilia's warning. He decided not to tease the little girl with a straight face who called herself Betty, even though it was extremely tempting.

At that time the door to the dining room opened.

"Please pardon me, dear guests. Allow me to set the meal."

"If you would excuse me, dear guests. I will set the table and serve the tea."

Pushing trolleys into the room were the twin maids. Rem was pushing a trolley with food from an orthodox breakfast menu on it, such as salad and pastries. Ram, on the other hand, was pushing a trolley with tableware and forks on it.

The two of them moved to either side of the table and began quickly and expertly setting it. In perfect sync, the table was decorated, the warm scents causing Subaru's stomach to growl unintentionally.

"Woah, not too shabby. It really is a lunch fit for the nobility…"

The twin maids soon left.

After ten seconds of silence, Subaru's irritation was reaching the breaking point: "Aaaah! H-u-r-r-y-u-p-a-l-r-e-a-d-y! I can't take it anymore!"

Beatrice sighed heavily. "You are quite lacking in refinement, I suppose. Can you not wait in a more refined and elegant manner when you're in someone else's house, I wonder?"

"I think staying silent is just too hard for Subaru," said Mordred as he picked up one of the pastries.

Subaru said, "That's how it is. Staying silent in the presence of others just gives me a very uncomfortable feeling. C'mon, let's eat! Let's eat!"

Subaru rudely and furiously grabbed his knife and fork and placed them together, starting to chop up some beets against the table.

Bang, bang, bang, bang!

It caused Beatrice to take action. With her hand still on the glass, the space around it began to warp, and, with a finger, she directed a paranormal-like energy at him.

"Beatrice…" Mordred began, however, there was no plot armor to protect Subaru this time.

"El Shamak," Beatrice muttered at the same time.

Then a dark curse-like projectile shot out from the little girl's finger and struck Subaru sitting across the table. Following that, Subaru's movements instantly froze as if someone hit a pause button on a Subaru Remote Controler and he subsequently dropped forward motionlessly, hitting the table with his forehead, stopping to generate any noise.

"That's much better, I suppose," said Beatrice and then took a sip from her glass.

"Ah…" Mordred stared at Subaru who now imitated an ice statue but with no ice around him. "El Shamak… So you made him unable to access his senses or something."

"Close, I suppose. He has access to his senses, but is unable to control his body, I suppose," Beatrice gave a half-hearted reply.

"So he can hear us…" Mordred muttered to himself. After a while he thought of something and called out: "Wait, won't he die from not breathing?!"

"That's none of Betty's business, I suppose…"

Despite saying that, a while later Beatrice waved her finger again.

Subaru suddenly unfroze and started gasping for air with a shocked and frightened expression. He grasped his throat and stared daggers at Beatrice. "Damn, I felt like I'm dying, you damn drill loli!"

"Hmph. Bugs must learn to behave in the presence of more noble beings, I suppose," Beatrice rebuked.

"Ooooohhhh myyy, Mordred-sama, Subaru-kuun, you two are already heeeere!" Roswaal suddenly appeared in the room with a smile.

His eyes first landed on Mordred, 'He really did come here all the way. Is it for this doll or for the magic lessons?'

Roswaal then looked at Beatrice quietly tilting her glass, raising his eyebrows. "OHHH, it is rare to see Beatrice here as weeeell! Is it not wonderful that you decided to have a meal with me after such a long tiiiiiime?"

"That's enough. Why are you so happy-go-lucky, in fact. Betty is only here to share a meal with Bubby, I suppose." Brushing off Roswaal's buddy-buddy statements, Beatrice—shifted her line of sight to Roswaal's rear. Entering the room behind him was the figure of Emilia, and the one nestled within her silver hair was: "Bubby!"

Beatrice seemingly sprung up from her seat and zipped over to him, her long skirt fluttering in the wind. Her face was adorned with a smile, like a blooming flower, so charming that it made him forget about her straight and stern behavior from just a while ago. Beatrice's run had been a reaction to the gray cat nestled within the silver hair.

Puck's face came out, and with a relaxed expression, said, "Hiya, Betty. It's been over three days. Have you been well and acting like a lady should?"

"No, she did not! This crazy drill loli almost killed me!" Subaru called out loud before Beatrice had a chance, getting everyone's attention.

Beatrice sent back Subaru a cold glance. "Hmph, you have no manners and just can't shut up, in fact. It's already good that Betty only did that much, I suppose."

"What only that much? You almost killed me! I get it that you want to show off your powers, but straight out choking someone is not funny. It was hella scary when I couldn't even breathe when I wanted to! You can't imagine!" Subaru pointed finger at Beatrice, shouting indignantly. The experience of being unable to control one's body at all and being completely deprived of oxygen was just too frightening; although there was no water involved, it made Subaru think of waterboarding.

Beatrice didn't answer and instead turned to Puck. "Bubby, please ignore this annoying guy. I have been eagerly awaiting your return. Would you like to spend the day together, I wonder?"

"Yeah, sounds great! But, Betty, did you really play a trick on Subaru?"

"It's nothing much, I suppose. Don't worry about it, Bubby," she said.

"Ah… Subaru can be a bit strange, but he isn't a bad guy. You shouldn't be too harsh on him."

"Betty is very sorry…" Beatrice apologized innocently.

"Hum, it's alright. How about we just relax for the day, then?"

"Oh, how wonderful, Bubby!"

Puck leapt out of Emilia's silver hair, landing in Beatrice's outstretched hands. With Puck now in her grasp, Beatrice twirled around and around on the spot.

As Subaru was struck senseless by the happy and carefree scene occurring right in front of him, Emilia walked over to him with a worried expression on her face and a wry smile. "Subaru, are you okay? You must be surprised, right? Beatrice and Puck are suuuper close."

Subaru said, "It's a surprise, or maybe I should ask what the hell is up with that loli's attitude. Isn't she quite cunning by putting on airs in front of a cat?"

"I'm sorry, but I have noooo idea what you're saying." Emilia sighed and then looked down at Subaru in a scolding manner, akin to an elder sister looking at her little brother. "But must you always get in trouble wherever you go? Couldn't you be a little more quiet? We talked about it a while ago."

"Hey, I tried, but this loli is just too crazy! Choking someone just because she finds them annoying…"

Emilia shook her head helplessly as it seemed that nothing she said was going through to Subaru. "I agree that Beatrice went too far, but you're so hard to deal with Subaru…"

"Oh weeell, although Beatrice is like thaaaat, I doubt she would actually harm you, Subaru-kuuuuuun. Seeing how you're fine, let's put it past us and start our meeeeeeal, shaaaall we?" Roswaal said as he sat down in the seat of honor.

Since it was the decision of the lord of the manor, that was that. Ram, Rem and Nadia, who'd been in waiting, began serving steaming dishes one after the other.

Emilia sighed and also sat down in her seat.

Soon, lunch was ready to go.

At this moment, Emilia was sitting in a seat second to the seat of honor, then there was Subaru. On the other side there was Beatrice and then Mordred.

Mordred felt like it would be natural that as a King Candidate guest he would be seated closer to the seat of honor, but he did not care and it was also not fine for him to take Emilia's seat. Roswaal didn't comment on it either.

"Well then, let us eat. —To the trees, the wind, the stars, and to the earth," palms together, Roswaal closed his eyes and muttered.

Emilia and the maids quickly followed suit, parroting the prayer. Beatrice also returned to her seat and then closed her eyes. Realizing that it was a pre-meal prayer, Subaru hurriedly imitated them - before they did not eat together.

Based on how people present were so adamantly praying, it was shockingly apparent that Roswaal and Emilia were deeply religious. And the twins seemed to have grown accustomed to it, paying close attention to their behavior. Beatrice, on the other hand, was simply roughly going through the motions.

Meanwhile Mordred remained silent and only thought if the prayer was any sort of clue to this world and observed the others, but failed to see any significance in it.

"Weeeell then, Mordred-sama, Subaru-kuuun. She may not look like it, but Rem's cooking is really quite somethiiiing . Please go aheaaaaad. This meal was mostly prepared by Reeeeem."

At Roswaal's encouragement, Mordred and Subaru joined in on the meal. The first dish was some sort of soup along with something that looked like pieces of bread.

Having tasted a spoonful of the soup, Mordred said, "Now, that's quite something for a soup…"

"Yeah, it's way better than usual," Subaru added.

Seeing Subaru's expression, Rem standing next to the table made a fox with her fingers with an expressionless face. Subaru replied by making two frog signs with his hands.

"Ohh weeeell, Mordred-sama, as a member of a Royal Family you must be used to also enjoy quite delicaciiiiiies, isn't that the caaaase?" Roswaal asked.

"Ah, I'm more of a warrior than a prince, so not really. I'm used to efficiency and simple food."

"Is that sooooo?" Roswaal held out his hand toward Ram and then received a notebook in which he started scribbling down something silently.

'Yeah, not suspicious at all,' Mordred thought.

"Forgive me, but since you're an important guest I'd like to know more about youuuuu," said Roswaal. "By the way, from what Ram told me it seems that you and Beatrice have already met in the Forbidden Libraaaaary? Is that trueeee?"

"We met by accident, I guess," Mordred vaguely replied, shrugging his shoulders.

Beatrice sent him a brief silent glance and didn't comment.

Emilia turned to Beatrice. "Beatrice… Did you invite Mordred into the Forbidden Library?"

"No, I suppose… He got the right answer to the Door Crossing, in fact," said Beatrice.

"Forbidden Library? It stimulates my nerdy mind. Tell me more about that in detail," Subaru chimed in curiously.

After a few seconds of silence it was Puck who answered: "Well, Roswaal is 'somewhat' of a magician, right? The Mathers have a long history, so there are books they don't want others to see. So, Betty is guarding the Forbidden Library according to her contract with him so that such books stay away from the public eye. Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right," Beatrice confirmed. "Everything Bubby says is always right, in fact."

Subaru: "Eeeh, sounds like neat stuff with ancient knowledge and stuff. I wonder if I'll be able to… Ah, right, I can't read."

Ignoring Subaru's mumbling, Roswaal, who had been silent until then, touched his nose and exclaimed in surprise. "Weeeell, it takes me a while to reach the Forbidden Library if I try opening up the doors randooooomly, but you were able to enter it without Beatrice's permiiiiission. You two must be quite compatible with one anotheeeeer."

""Hmm?"" the two blondes simultaneously turned toward Roswaal. Then they looked at each other briefly before turning away - both with stern faces. Mordred didn't want to appear even more needy or suspicious than he already was, while it was Beatrice's usual expression.

"Your faces are mirror images of each other, you two," Emilia commented.

Beatrice only lightly snorted and returned to watching Puck eat.

"I think Roswaal-san and Subaru are more compatible," Mordred said with a faint smile as he thought of something.

"That's well said, I suppose. Such strange mannerism, you found a worthy successor, Roswaal, I suppose," Beatrice added with a cold expression.

Emilia chuckled. "Yes, they're very similar. You two too, Beatrice, Mordred."

"Is that sooooo?" Roswal smiled wryly.

"Now, now, stop right there! I know that I'm very special, but please don't compare me to that pervert! I Even I am not a match for the country's number one pervert!" Subaru called out indignantly in a joking manner.

"Subaru." Emilia sent Subaru a scolding look.

Roswaal was the one who offered Subaru his position himself out of good will and also gave the penniless him a place to stay, so it was quite unacceptable that Subaru treated him with no respect at all and even insulted him, and in the presence of a Royal Candidate from another faction at that. Roswaal represented Emilia and the people supporting her; being disrespected even by a random subordinate in public was like saying that Roswaal is a joke and anyone can step on him, even if it was a joke.

Roswaal looked at Subaru with a faint smile and a chilling glint in his eyes. "Subaru-kun, you really have no feaaaaar. I admit that many people view me as a perverted nobleman due to my demi-human taaaastes, but as someone under me you're slowly crossing the liiiiiine."

With Roswaal's passive-aggressive comment, the merry atmosphere in the dining hall instantly took a sharp dive. The two twin maids glared snarly at Subaru, while Emilia seemed to be in no hurry to defend him. Nadia seemed to be on edge, but she was like that from the beginning for some reason. Only Beatrice seemed to not care.

"Right…" Subaru said. "Soo, it has been recently brought to my attention that I'm a commoner and a weakling... Which isn't entirely wrong, though it still feels insulting."

At Subaru's words Emila cast her eyes downwards as if due to shame and guilt.

Subaru continued, "Anyway, as an apology for this transgression, Roswaal-saaaaama, I shall offer you my whiddle finger. Please don't hang me!"

Subaru then slightly bowed and presented his middle finger to Roswaal.

Seeing that Mordred couldn't help but let out a snort and a loud laugh.

Subaru smiled cheekily, and then pulled back his hand.

"Nooow, I have a feeling that this gesture was an insuuuuult. Shouldn't you have given me your middle finger anywaaaay? Why did you keeeep it?" Roswaal asked.

"Really? Where I come from it's a sign of deep affection that means: 'I love you so much that I wanna make you lick my shoe'. Different cultures, different traditions," Subaru said.

"Subaru, in your hometown, licking someone's shoe is an expression of deep affection…?" Emilia asked.

"It's the ultimate expression of love, meaning: 'everything that represents you is precious'."

Following Subaru's remark, the room fell into silence.

Roswaal and a few others looked at Mordred who only had a bitter smile on his face. 'Uh, Roswaal was actually serious about warning Subaru, but Subaru didn't catch it and kept joking instead. In the original Subaru had his plot armor, so Roswaal allowed him to do and say whatever he wanted, but here he's just an ordinary person.'

"Weeeell, I see that you're still in the mood for joking, Subaru-kuuun. However, I am not. You're really crossing the liiiine." Roswaal sent a deathly glare at Subaru.

The way Roswaal looked at Subaru rendered him speechless. 'Oh shiiit, I'm seriously bad at reading the mood…'

Since Subaru had become a loner due to not being able to read the mood, he was pretty good at 'reading the mood after he failed to read the mood'. Although ordinary people could 'read the mood before it had gotten to the point where he couldn't read the mood', Subaru couldn't. The result was him constantly being unable to read between the lines with his insensitive remarks.

Now being no different, since Subaru himself couldn't read the mood with his casual attitude toward Roswaal that was out of place when compared to Roswaal's cold gaze, he was at a loss as to what to do.

"Uh... Oh… Well, we were sort-of acting like this before, so I thought it wasn't a big deal?" Subaru asked as he started sweating like a donkey due to the cold gazes of Roswaal, Ram and Rem.

"Subaru-kun, before that you were the guest of Astrea famiiiiily and I'm not someone who's very peeeeetty, so you got away with it, riiiight? But now that you're working for me, shouldn't you treat your Lord with respeeeect? Especially in the presence of an important gueeeest?" Roswaal asked with a smile.

"Uh, well, you make sense… You're the lord of this mansion and you're giving me a place to stay, so it's sort of normal…" Subaru stated the obvious.

Roswaal smiled. "Riiight. I took you as a disciple because of your above average talent in maaaagic, but unlike Mordred-sama who I owe a faaaavor, I'm not obliged to give you anythiiiiing, let alone tolerate your ruuuudness. Isn't that the caaaase?"

"Right… Now that you mention it, I'm in your debt quite a bit…" Subaru said after a while.

"Then let it be a lesson for you just like with Beatrice earlier, Subaru-kuuuun. Anyone at this table could reduce you to mincemeat just with a flick of their wriiiist. It would be prudent to be careful how you act just a little biiiiit."

Hearing Roswaal's words of warning and his serious tone of voice, which was quite different from usual, reminded Subaru that Roswaal in the end was still a lord of the mansion and a court magician. No matter what, he had to be somewhat competent and powerful.

At the same time, Subaru realized that his teasing must have gone a little overboard to Roswaal's tastes - if he really went too far, there might be no one that would protect him from being executed, whether it was Emilia or Mordred, they were not that close; it was a barbaric fantasy world that he was living in now after all.

"Uh, oh… I may have gotten carried away with my jokes. Sorry, sorry." Subaru nervously raised his hands in a placating manner.

Roswaal smiled. "It's good that you get this pooooint. It's the same with honoriiiifics. I personally don't mind the nickname you've given meeee, but since there's a guest present, it isn't a time you should uuuuuse it. And especially calling Emilia-sama without an honorific is very out of plaaaaace. If there was anyone who heard a commoner call her with no respect I'm afraid her reputation would suffer quite a biiiit."

Subaru frowned.

Seeing Subaru's expression, Roswaal explained, "You see, if even Emilia-sama's attendants don't treat her with respeeeeect, what does it say about heeeeer? Doesn't it imply that she isn't worthy of her posiiiition? How would anyone want to be under a person like thaaaaat?"

Emilia forced a bitter smile. Although she quite enjoyed Subaru's friendly attitude toward her, what Roswaal said was the simple truth of the world.

"Ah…" Subaru seemed to have an enlightenment.

"Either way, let's leave this matter for laaaater and not ruin the meal's atmosphere any fuuuurther. Mordred-sama, I see that you're quite enjoying your meaaaaaal," said Roswaal with a smile as he looked at Mordred who, amidst the chaos, had already finished his plate of soup.

"Ah, yeah. It was good."

Ram and Rem, as if reminded, started taking out the second steaming dish and placing it at the table. The meal consisted of steamed vegetables, still hot slices of meat dripped in sauce and steamed potatoes.

The lunch continued.

Unknowing how he should act, Subaru stayed awkwardly silent for the most part.