Leap Day

Phil ran out of his room and opened Luke's door, shouting, "Come on boys! It's Leap Day, not Sleep Day!". Seeing Luke and Manny wake up, Phil cheered, "Whoo!". Blitzing out of the room, he opened Haley's door and pulled the covers off her bed, "Sleepyhead! Get up! It's Lead Day!".

Hearing his constant yelling, Haley woke up as well and complained, "Get out!".

Despite the way she phrased it, Haley's words did little to douse Phil's excitement.

[Commentary]

Claire and Phil

"I love Leap Day!", Phil announced.

"It's kind of a big deal in the Dunphy House", Claire explained, "This year, we even got Manny and Zephyr involved. We were going to invite Bella as well, but she's having a sleepover at her friends".

"You're given this extra gift of 24 hours!", Phil excitedly exclaimed, "You can't waste it at work or school. You have to do something extraordinary, something ... shocking".

Claire nodded, "This year, we're all going to take a trapeze class".

"How extraordinary is that?", Phil questioned.

"It was my idea", Claire added.

"How shocking is that?", Phil corrected.

"That's right", Claire nodded, "I can be spontaneous every 4 years".

"I can't wait!", Phils screamed in excitement.

[Commentary ends]

Exiting Haley's bedroom, Phil climbed the stairs and entered Alex's bedroom. "Alex! Wake up! It's Leap Day!". Hearing no response, Phil made his way over to the bed only to notice it was empty. "Argh!", Phil screamed, running out of the room and down the two flights of stairs and making his way to Claire who was quietly looking at something. "Claire!", Phil yelled in panic, "Someone kidnapped our daughter! We have to call the pol-".

Before he could continue, Claire covered Phil's mouth with her hand and whispered, "She hasn't been kidnapped".

"Then where is she?", Phil whispered back, "And why are we whispering?".

Claire slapped the back of Phil's head and gestured towards the makeshift bed in front of her. There was a large duvet spread out on the floor with two pillows, and another duvet on top of said pillows. Lying down right next to each, deep asleep, were the forms of Alex and Zephyr. Zephyr and Alex lay intertwined in each other's arms, their breathing synchronized in the tranquil rhythm of slumber. Soft sunlight trickled through the curtains, casting a gentle glow upon their tranquil faces. As they slept, their fingers occasionally brushed against one another.

"They're so peaceful", Phil commented, seeing the couple sleeping.

"You know, a part of me feels really happy seeing this", Claire remarked, "But another part of me hates the fact that Alex sneaked out of her room to sleep with him".

"Argh", Phil yelled, covering his ears.

"What's wrong with you?", Claire asked, irritated by his actions.

"Don't phrase it like that", Phil complained, "You almost gave me a heart attack".

"But you're right here", Claire muttered. Shaking her head, she returned her attention to Zephyr and Alex. After a few seconds, she was struck with an idea and turned to look at her husband, "Phil. Go get the camera. After taking a few photos, you're going to wake them up".

"Why do I have to wake them up?", Phil questioned, "I'm the fun and cool Dad, a.k.a, the good cop. You're the uptight, rule-obsessed Mom, a.k.a, the bad cop".

"Phil!", Claire yelled/whispered, causing Phil to gulp and run out of the room in fear. Looking at his terrified form, Claire smirked and muttered under her breath, "Still got it". Then she turned to look at Zephyr and Alex, narrowing her eyes as she stared at them, "Now. How to deal with you two?".

[Time Skip]

"So. Is this safe?", Manny inquired, looking at the brochure of the trapeze class, "Because It doesn't look safe".

"It's a trapeze", Luke replied, not giving an answer.

"Relax", Phil muttered, "More people are killed by knife-wielding strangers than from trapezing".

"That's to be expected though", Zephyr gloomily answered, his head on the table.

"It's fine kiddo", Phil comforted Zephyr, giving him a few pats on the back, "You're just not allowed to see each other for a week".

Instead of answering, Zephyr slammed his head back on the table, depressed by the punishment. After looking around to make sure no one was listening, Phil whispered to Zephyr, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but if you text me beforehand, I can help you sneak into the house".

"Really?!", Zephyr asked in excitement.

"Of course", Phil nodded his head, "We're bros, and bros help each other".

"Thanks, Phil", Zephyr muttered, giving Phil a quick hug, "I don't know what to say".

"Well. For one, you can start calling me P-Money", Phil suggested.

Before Zephyr could reply, Claire, who was watching something on the TV, began sobbing. Pausing for a second, Phil turned to look in the direction of his wife and tentatively asked, "Honey. Are you okay?".

"I'm fine", Claire unconvincingly replied, wiping the tears streaming down her face, "It's just ... so ... sad".

Hearing her reply, Phil muttered, "Oh no. Not today". Rushing over to the calendar, he quickly checked something.

"What's wrong?", Luke inquired.

"Nothing", Phil quickly answered, "Nothing at all. Your mom's just feeling ... emotional".

"She was like this last month", Luke commented, "And the month before. And the one before that. And the one before that one".

Before Luke could continue, Haley came into the room, screaming, "What?! I could kill someone. What?! I can't hear you! This stupid phone gets no reception in this stupid house! Argh!"

"Dear God. Not another one", Phil muttered as soon as he saw Haley's mood instantaneously changing from angry to sad as she looked at the animal documentary on the TV.

[Commentary]

Phil

"I heard rumours, we all had", Phil began, "Supposedly if females lived or worked in close quarters for a long time could eventually all get on the same cycle. But I always assumed that was a myth designed to keep women out of the submarine corps".

[Commentary ends]

"Argh!", Alex wept as she ran into the room, trying to wipe the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Looking around for a second, she ran to Zephyr and hugged him, "It's so not fair. I'm going to miss you so much".

Instead of replying, Zephyr wrapped his arms around Alex and gently ran his fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down.

"Oh my God", Luke complained, "They're going to ruin everything for us".

"No. No no no no no no", Phil whispered, stopping Luke from continuing his rant, "We just need to be extra sensitive and careful with our wording".

"Phil, honey, when are we going to leave?", Claire inquired as she continued to wipe the tears in her eyes.

"Whenever's good for you sweetie", Phil replied, "Maybe in 20 minutes?"

At his words, the mother-daughter duo erupted in anger and began questioning whether it was whenever they were ready or in 20 minutes.

Seeing this, Zephyr slowly guided Alex out of the room, compassionately whispering in her ear, "It's going to be okay. Just ignore them. I'll sneak into your room after school so don't worry. Nothing's going to happen".

Not replying, Alex simply tightened her hold on him, refusing to let go.

[Time Skip]

"They're going to ruing trapezing", Luke complained, "I bet they won't even catch me".

"Why are you so afraid of them?", Manny asked, "Women are actually quite reasonable. Why don't we just suggest that they stay at home because they're all on their menst-".

"Shush", Phil interrupted, putting his hand on Manny's mouth to prevent him from continuing with his stupid and hopeless plan, "The first rule of dealing with the cycle: never, ever mention the cycle. You tiptoe around it". Gathering their attention, he continued, "The woman's actually taking great pains to hide the monster she's become. If you acknowledge it, that brings the monster forth".

"Good God", Luke muttered in fear, "And there's three of them".

Before they could continue, Zephyr poked his head down the stairs and said, "Alex and I talked it over and we decided that we're going to skip trapezing".

Despite being rattled by the revelation, Phil continued, "It's okay. I have a plan". Waiting for a few seconds and seeing them not move, he muttered, "It's traditional to move in when someone says 'I have a plan'. So you know". Shrugging their shoulders, Manny and Luke leaned in to hear Phil's plan, "Right. So what we're going to do is pretend that Luke is feeling unwell. Manny, you and I will suggest that we look after Luke. Once they leave the house, us three will go to a separate trapeze class".

"I don't know", Manny muttered, "That plan has a lot of holes in it. What if the girls chose not to go?"

"Oh please", Phil waved off his concerns, "I know Claire. If there's one thing she hates doing is staying inside during Leap Day. She's been so excited for Leap Day, there's no way she's going to consider cancelling to stay in".

Despite seeing Phil's confidence, Manny wasn't fully convinced and muttered, "This is not going to end well", under his breath.