What's wrong with me-

I sat by the stone-plated steps of the pokemon center, its neon red lights shining on my head as I watched out at the dark night sky, The leaves of trees dancing slowly to the cold yet soothing breeze rubbing against my bruised skin.

I raised my hand to my face, comforting my swollen cheek and bleeding nose as I stared off and reflected on what just happened, the actions that got me to this point.

"So, what happened?" Yu practically came out of nowhere as he always does interrupting my moment of solitude.

"Aren't you supposed to be all knowing or something?" I asked, rubbing my wounds eliciting pain. Distracting my mind from its inner turmoil. 

"I'm your guide, not god." Yu muttered, sitting by my side on the stone plated steps, his feet rustled and played with  the green blades under us.

"Well, I messed up." I sighed, looking down to the ground. Trying fruitlessly to hide my pain. 

"What did you do?" Yu asked me, only suspicion left in his eyes, raising his eyebrow at me. Trying to discern just what is eating away at me under the surface.

I couldn't answer him, I felt stupid after what I just did. Burying my head into my arms my marine blue eyes welled up with tears. I didn't want to cry, but what choice do I have, what could I possibly do now? I messed up and now I have to bear with the consequences.

________

"I don't want you to leave.." I said under my breath, grabbing onto the leg of my pants as if I was a little kid trying to hold back tears. (I was, but that's besides the point.)

The silence that followed suit was deafening, my grip tightening in anticipation, biting my lower lip waiting for a response. I felt disgusted with myself .. But I didn't care. Noctowls hoots echoed in the veil of the dark woods surrounding the well of light escaping from our room and the pokecenter.

A look of shock was left on her face but it soon changed into a soft smile, 

"We'll still be together for a while," Chloe smiled, as she unpacked, 

"I'm not leaving right away, and besides we won't be separated for long, i'll see you at the beginning of next year."

"I know that but still!" I shouted, I wanted to shut up, I wanted to stop talking and move on, but I couldn't, my mouth wouldn't keep shut up! words kept coming out and I had no idea what they meant! 

"I don't want you to leave me, I want you to stay by my side, please!" I shouted in an attempt to grab her arm but she pulled away from me, the look of shock sticking to her face like a stain that won't come off.

"Ayuna, I understand how you feel but, I'm not some female love interest that hopelessly sticks by the Mc's side, I have my own dreams to chase my own chances and expectations to meet."

Tears streamed down my face, her words weren't from ill intent or were they bad, but it hurt me so much, striking my heart and tugging at its strings, and I have no idea why, I just, I just cant be alone again.. I can't.

"Why are you so bent on pursuing this!?" I shouted, balling my hands to fist. Gritting my teeth in sadness and fatigue. 

((shut up!))

"You won't make it far anyway!" 

((Shut up!!))

"You only have two Pokemon and none of them are even fully evolved!!"

(((SHUT UP!!!)))

I pointed my finger accusingly at her, tears rolling down my eyes though I tried to stop it, it was no use, the damn was broken and so was my heart.

((shut up! shut up!))

(((I want to die-)))

(((I just want to die-)))

"You have no talent! You can barely battle! You fainted when Giovanni battled you! You would've died without me! Do you really think you coul-" A crisp sound was heard over the sound of my shouting, a sharp pain to my cheek overshadowing my anger. 

I feel to the ground a large thud echoing through the room, knocking over some books off the shelf. I raised my head, holding my face in agony and surprise. I looked over to Chloe, tears streamed down her eyes, hurt by my toxic words.

Slowly she walked up to me sitting on top of me and pulled her hand back, punching me in the face repeatedly, each punch felt like a thousand needles pressing against my face, it felt horrible..

Zorua yelped, stepping back from the sudden aggression but barking at Chloe, she wanted to stop her from hurting me, she didn't want this to happen to me, but deep down she knew I deserved it. 

She sat by as she watched it happen, her ears down and Toxel by her side.

"How could you say that!" She cried, her eyes letting rivers rain on my chest as she kept going at it, punching me on repeat with no sign of stopping. I kept trying to get her off me. I kept trying to fight back, but at some point- I just gave up.

Crimson started to drip from my nose, staining her hand. Seeing this, finally she stopped.

"You know what?" She sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes as she got off me.

"I changed my mind, I'm leaving with Mindy first thing in the morning, I don't want to see your face ever again after that-"

She picked up Toxel and stormed to her room, shutting the door loudly behind her. I stared up to the ceiling, mad at her, mad at myself. 

"I want to die…"