Short Story 1 : Sakayanagi Arisu SS –  Complicated Feelings

I was having a good time chatting with Ayanokouji-kun who excused himself from joining the sports festival and was absent.

I always had to be careful about what others until  now, and today was the only chance I had where nobody could interfere.

"You were just observing, but even made me come here and visit you. You are not planning on doing anything during the festival either, right? … I see."

I pieced together all the scattered hints he had been giving me during our conversation.

"In other words—Eh"

Suddenly, he gently grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back.

Usually, this amount of strength was nothing to most people, but since my body was rather weak and I hadn't expected it, I fell backwards in a daze.

It didn't hurt of course. I just fell back from where I sat on the bed.

I should have been seeing his face right now, but my eyes were spinning while looking at the ceiling.

Before I managed to sort out the situation, Ayanokouji-kun began mounting me.

He had his hands on both sides of my head leaving me without any way to escape.

"E-excuse me?"

I didn't look like he had succumbed to his primal desires.

It should have been impossible, but somehow the possibility was within my calculations.

My thoughts were all scrambled and that hindered me from coming to an answer.

"My school life is founded on this plan I have. The fact you would come here today, would show interest in and eventually reach the answer as within possibility."

As if he were making fun of me, he reached his conclusion against this situation.

"You will be hindrance  if you told  anyone else about this."

"You think I… would leak this?"

I wasn't so naïve that I didn't understand how much of a bother that could be to him.

I thought we both understood that…

"The chances aren't zero. You may try to blackmail me by saying you'd expose it unless I agreed to have a match with you. I'd have no other options in that case."

"I see, that's certainly true… But, couldn't I just reveal the truth about the White Room instead?"

His true goal was hidden. That was definitely true, but I still haven't managed to calm myself enough right now to think about it.

While my mind was working, trying to calm down my thoughts, I continued to talk to him.

"Shall we start the special lesson?"

I saw his eyes as he muttered this and finally understood his goal.

I couldn't help but laugh, close my eyes and wait for the lesson.

If this was his goal, I won't  mind.

With these complicated feelings, I acknowledged that I would be used by him.

But, do remember this, Ayanokouji-kun.

If you are going to use me—I'm going to use you until the very end.