2.25

"Hannah?" Noah casually sat back, giving me space to breathe as I banged my head repeatedly off the pillow like a nutcase.

If it wasn't a dream, then what was it? A vision of the future? But it hadn't been me, it had been Hannah, and Hannah died slitting her wrists, only in the dream Hannah did not die until many years later, after killing Noah's grandfather then both him and herself.

My eyes drifted to study him, as he returned my gaze just as observant.

"This base we're going to in Oregon, do you have family there?" I asked, remembering the most tragic part of Hannah's future life.

Noah frowned, the playfulness in his eyes vanishing into a cold, empty void.

"Yes." His tone was just as cold.

"A grandfather?" I asked, remembering the elderly man Hannah had murdered only moments before herself.

His frown deepened, creasing his brow, "How do you-"

"Get out," I yanked my shorts up then pulled my top and jumper firmly down as if trying to shield my womb with layers of fabric.

"What?" He looked lost at my sudden explosion of anger.

"Shit, was I too much?" he covered his forehead with his hand, rubbing at his temples. "Did you not like that?"

Why was he asking as if I should?

Wait, Hannah and him had a BDSM kink in that dream. In fact, he was acting much tamer than he had in the dream. I gulped, suppressing the flooding memories. These came easier, stronger than the original Hannah's memories.

Why was the memory of a dream of the future more prominent than that of her actual past?

I wished System was here to help me make sense of it or to at least confirm my guesses. Had Hannah somehow travelled back into the past before committing suicide? It was a crazy world with zombies and powers after all.

"Hannah, can you answer me please?" Noah reached forward, tilting my face by the chin to look at him.

"What?" I'd forgotten what was the last thing we said. So many memories flooded my mind. Time had passed so slowly inside, whilst moving so fast outside. I felt knocked off course.

"Have I hurt you?" He asked, his thumb stroking my plump, bitten bottom lip affectionately. His gaze was much more tender than the intense way he had stared at me before.

"No, yes," I answered, confused.

"W-where?" His hands moved off me so quickly to just hover helplessly in the air as his eyes scanned me head to toe. I sucked in my stomach subconsciously.

My hand reached to my heart, digging into the soft thick knit of the jumper, clutching desperately, hoping to fill the ache.

It hadn't happened yet. There was no guarantee that this dream would come true, even if certain things were scarily accurate.

There was also no guarantee that she was inside my stomach right now. Hannah had gone to the clinic her friend had used before, to get the morning after pill, so chances are she was dead before she even got a chance in this life. Maybe it was better that way?

The image of those dead, vacant eyes looking up at future Hannah chilled me to the core, making both hands wrap protectively over my stomach. Even if it was her again, I couldn't let him know. I couldn't let my child anywhere near this man or his grandfather.

"If you won't leave, I will," I pushed off the bed, dodging his grip, to storm out of the room to go outside for fresh air. Not caring that I was half dressed and barefoot, only caring that outside was where he wasn't.

Whilst enjoying the buzz of the activity underground each time my barefoot hit the ground, I wandered aimlessly finding myself near the gate. The tree's outside the wall were complaining of hunger, reminding me of the trees back near the meteorite. What had gotten them so stirred up?

I recognised Hunter and Theo by the gate arguing, things had been like that since I woke up. Tensions rose across the camp at the sudden influx of people. Plus the shift in control was bound to upset the dynamic of the survivors. Yet these two had been so chummy before my coma.

When they caught my curious gaze, they immediately stopped arguing to give me a warm smile and nodded their heads, before climbing up the steps to take over the guard shift.

"There you are," Holly called out, running up to my side to link arms and drag me towards the dorm rooms. "you're so cold, come back and get changed, look at your feet," she chided like a nagging wife.

***

Soaking in the glorious vitamin D I rolled over onto my back, letting the rays hit my face. Holly lay beside me with a pensive look.

We were on our fourth day of figuring the plant powers out, though the council also had her gardening for most of the morning, speeding the growth of damned potatoes.

They had everybody do some form of work to earn rations, monopolising them. Even the people who would leave themselves to get supplies had to hand them in and only receive a portion if they wanted to return. They acted like they had built the walls themselves.

What annoyed me the most was that one of them was Jean and she did not seem as nice as she had when we first met. She was hardened by the new world, her personality twisted to survive it whilst I slept.

Holly, however, was still a people pleaser. Acting like the typical class swat, who was always asking for extra credit. Usually, she greeted me with a bright smile, telling me all about her morning. However, today she was quiet, nibbling at her meal half-heartedly.

The poor girl looked exhausted. I could see why many of the youths were getting sick of the elder generations bossing them around. Why did she put up with it? She did not need to please Jean.

"What is it?" I asked, too curious to wait patiently for her to spit it out.

She blushed, avoiding my eye contact, "are you and Noah sleeping t-together?" She asked in a hushed tone.

There were others taking advantage of the warmest day since everything went to shit. In the distance, I could hear the gossiping and giggling of women who were making makeshift washing lines to hang bed sheets out to dry.

"Why are you asking?" I sat up paranoid, trying to shrink my stomach under the many layers.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just," her blush deepened as she pulled her knees into her chest, her finger playing with a strand of grass, it snapped off, "does it hurt?"

I was so relieved she wasn't asking for the reason I worried about, that I let out a nervous chuckle.

Going over my two short lifetimes of memories I did my best to make sex sound like the most painful, scariest thing imaginable to her. Making a mental note to corner Leo and talk to him. Or should I get Will?

"Good advice," a shadow blocked the sunlight above me, as Noah loomed behind. Holly quickly excused herself, grateful for the interruption, and scurried away like the cute timid mouse she was.

"What do you want?" I dug my nails into my palm, trying to control the anger churning in my stomach, even the anti-sickness meds from Dr. John weren't helping at the moment.

"You need to get to the common rooms in the college kids' dorms at seven," I went to object but he raised his finger to shush me, "Will says if you miss this one he will come to find you, and drag you to it kicking and screaming if he has to."

That sounded like Will. But I had to see Dr. John at seven. I had not asked him how he could do blood tests, but he had drawn my blood earlier in the week two days apart, promising me results tonight.

He'd explained he was testing to see how my hormones increased, cursing at the fact he hadn't taken an ultrasound machine from the ward. As if he could have safely carried something that big.

"Fine," I pushed up, almost sprinting away from him before he could carry on the conversation, like I had been doing all week, to both him and a bewildered Alex. I didn't feel very responsible. Every time I saw their faces, I was reminded of the guilt of being stuck between these two men, and the pressure of the weight now hanging on my shoulders and mine alone.