CHAPTER 233

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[Alex Walker POV]

I yawned as I pushed the covers of the bed off, stretching my arms both ways as a notification popped in front of my tired eyes.

[Ego The Living Planet is approaching earth.]

I blinked, taking a deep breath, before deciding to go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

Walking out of the room, I encountered Bucky walking towards the kitchen as well, who upon seeing me, smiled, "Good morning," he greeted, as we both made our way to the kitchen, talking about random things, most of them, having to do with the girls and their shenanigans.

"Anything new?" Bucky asked, putting some freshly grinded coffee beans to brew on a golden Asgardian pot.

I paused for a moment, tapping the kitchen counter with my fingers for a few brief moments before replying, "Not much really," I replied, sure, Ego was coming, but he wasn't something I considered a big occurrence in my life, at most a ten-minute nuisance.

"I got a date," Bucky grinned, turning around as he took a seat, letting the coffee brew unsupervised for a few moments.

I blinked, letting the information sink in before beaming at him with a bright smile, "Whose the lucky gal?" I urged as Bucky chuckled under his breath.

"A friend of Sif's, Astrid Darsdottir," Bucky replied.

"Good for you man," I smiled, teleporting beside him to give him a hug.

"We are going out tomorrow night, to a show in the arena, Sif apparently already taught her how human dates differ from theirs," Bucky chuckled, as I teleported back to my seat.

"I'm glad," I nodded, before asking, "Do you need money or something?"

Bucky snorted, rolling his eyes, "You already pay me, a lot, or have you forgotten?"

Oh right, he had a salary, I had forgotten, but did I ever give him an Asgardian salary? "But, human currency is useless here." 

"True, but I also get paid in Asgardian coin, by you," Bucky deadpanned, "You really need an assistance, at this pace someone will screw you over."

I rolled my eyes, "Who would dare?" I challenged with a grin, seriously, I wanted to see the man or woman with the massively pendulous balls to try and steal from me, I might even spare them the punishment just for how utterly crazy they would have to be to do that.

"Good point," Bucky chuckled, "But still, you need an assistant, to keep your schedule and mind clear."

He had a point, maybe it was time to bring project A.I back, I mean, I had the template for Ultron and Jarvis ready to be used.

"You might be into something," I nodded, I mean, if Ultron and Jarvis operated like my golems, I would be able to funnel some of my responsibilities to them, that way, I would not need to be checking on everything at all moments, I could just delegate to them.

"I am always am," Bucky replied turning back to face the coffee pot.

"Ha! Sometimes, but enough about that," I chuckled, checking on Ego, who was according to my map, one hour away.

"So, any plans for today?" Bucky asked, grabbing the steaming hot pot with his metal, before serving the coffee in two cups.

I hummed for a brief moment, "Well, I was planning on watching TV with the girls, after destroying a planet, but beyond that, not much."

Bucky eyed me for a moment, giving me a look that said, really? "When I asked, if there was anything new, that bit of information would've been great."

"What? But me hanging out with the girls is nothing new," I frowned.

"Hanging out with the– are you fucking with me?!" Bucky asked, putting my cup of coffee in front of me.

"I have no idea what you mean," I shook my head, before snorting a laugh out, "Oh you mean the planet thing, right, that's new I guess, but nothing important to be honest."

"Nothing important…" Bucky sighed, "I deserve this. really, this is what happens when you hang out with people who can sneeze civilizations out,  and whatever category Thor fits in, instead of having normal friends."

I chuckled, "Hey, it's not that bad."

"Sure, a man's every Monday, destroying a planet," Bucky rolled his eyes at me.

"But really, would you change us for anything," I winked.

"I would sell Thor for a penny, no, no, scratch that, I would someone my entire savings to take Thor away," Bucky replied with a grin, before taking a deep breath, "But honestly, no, I would not change a thing, after Hydra, I never thought I would enjoy life again, but you fuckers changed that, sure, my life is crazy now, but what's life without a bit of crazy?"

"Amen to that," I nodded taking a sip of my coffee, noticing it needed some sugar.

"So, about the planet thing, what's going on?" Bucky asked as I apparated the sugar.

"Well, there's a living planet, who is currently on his way to earth," I replied while putting two teaspoons of sugar in my coffee.

"Living planet, you mean in a philosophical way, or… literal?" Bucky asked, frowning as I put two more teaspoons of sugar into my coffee.

"Literal, the planet is sentient and shit, but it's not really a planet perse, it's a brain that made a planet around itself to protect his… well, everything," I replied, adding two more of sugar.

"Why don't you drink the sugar instead?" Bucky commented.

"Funny," I replied, taking a sip of my sugar with coffee.

"Back to the topic, did you say a brain?" Bucky inquired.

"Yep," 

"I miss the days the only problem we had were nazis," Bucky groaned, "Each enemy is weirder than the last."

Hmm, he had a point, when was the last time I fought someone with a gun? I can't even remember, "Well, shit happens, what can you do about it?" I shrugged.

"I suppose," Bucky chuckled, "By the way, Emily has a playdate today, and you are invited, her new friend, Vest, and her…" he paused, his eyes turning dark, "Dad, are coming."

That was a long pause, "Is the dad something I should worry about?"

"Yes…." Bucky replied almost as if whispering.

I frowned even more, "Why?"

"He said he didn't do it, but I'm almost positive he's the one responsible," Bucky hissed.

"Did what?!" I asked.

"This," Bucky sighed, showing me his metal arm.

I looked at his arm seeing nothing strange, before eyeing him, "Bucky are you going senile?"

"Not my arm, you dumbfuck," Bucky shot back.

Damn, he's sensitive about whatever Vest's dad did.

"Then what?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Press the new button," Bucky replied.

New button? What does he… oh shit, there's a button there.

"I don't recall my design having a button," I replied.

"Indeed, now press the button," Bucky sighed.

"Ok…" I nodded, feeling like Bucky was setting me for a prank. But fuck it, here goes nothing.

Confused and hesitant, I pressed the button, and immediately after, a song started to play out.

♫Hi, Barbie

Hi, Ken!

Do you wanna go for a ride?

Sure, Ken!

Jump in...

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic!

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party!

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic!

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

 ♫

What in the actual fuck?

Barby girl?!

Needless to say, this needed some investigation, but for now, I would do what any man in my situation would've done, laugh.

So, without a care for the world, I wheezed my ass out.