[Ch. 15] Instability Grips the Heart (Past)

I opened my eyes and felt an agonizingly strong pressure grip at my sight. I blinked quickly in order to dispel the pain. When that didn't work, I took my hand and put it over my eyes to relieve the pressure. It felt like my head was on the verge of exploding.

I cautiously reopened my eyes again and looked around the room. I didn't recognize the ceiling nor did I recognize the decor as part of a room I had ever been in before.

Did I reincarnate again?

I looked down to see my bodacious chest almost smacking me in the face.

Ugh. Nope, same body.

I looked around and noticed the décor of the room was different than the one from the Kingdom Sadon. It followed a minimalist scheme with light colors. While my nation enjoyed bright colors with intricate designs, this had paler colors that valued simplicity.

When my eyes caught sight of a large fan with an elegant phoenix painted on it, I knew right away it was a dorm room for someone from the Phoenix nation. Judging by the expensive decor and how big the room was, it had to be someone from either royalty or nobility.

I kept scanning the room until I saw Raylon sitting next to me in a wicker chair. He sat back with his eyes closed. He wore a pale blue kimono with white sleeves. His kimono had a phoenix design with the phoenix surrounded by fire. It was a common symbol belonging to those who are highly ranked in the nation.

I watched him without blinking and counted his deep, even breaths. My eyes hungrily scanned his perfect olive skin in admiration before turning my attention to his sleeping face. I spoke calmly, "I know you aren't asleep."

He opened his eyes and gave a cocky grin, "Apologies. I had to pretend."

"Oh?"

"Yes. If you had woken up and I was staring at you, you would have thought I had ulterior motives."

"Mmn."

Seeing my unreadable expression only made him feel more nervous, "B-But I didn't do anything immoral. I promise."

I lowered my eyes from his panicked expression, "It doesn't matter if you did."

His face twisted, "How could you say that? Of course it would matter! Do you not value yourself? You would just let anyone do what they wanted to you?"

I raised my eyes to meet his. He flinched and suddenly felt nervous as I stared at him silently. Finally, I broke the silence, "I didn't say anyone."

He paused, meeting my eyes before quickly looking away. I stared at him firmly causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat. I noticed a slight tinge of red spread across his cheeks. The corners of my lips twitched as I saw him in that flustered state. I looked away so he could relax a little more.

I spoke indifferently, "It doesn't matter because I know you wouldn't have."

I sat up and felt an abrupt wave of pain rush over me. Coupled with my permanent headache, it made me feel naseous and dizzy. I clutched my head as my eyebrows pinched together. He stood up in a panic, noticing my discomfort.

His previous embarrassment was forgotten as he rushed to my side, "Are you okay?"

I gave a weak nod, "It's fine."

I took my hands off my head and tried to ignore the stabbing pain. I caught sight of my fingernails and felt my vision blur. I could recall feeling thousands of needles being stabbed under my fingernails until they ripped off the nail. The familiar sensation returned to my senses, threatening to drive me crazy.

Raylon felt the room grow colder and looked at me in concern. He began to realize the connection between the temperature changes and my state of mind. He spoke in a low voice, "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded and withdrew my hand. I looked back at him expressionlessly, "Just tell me something."

"Like what?"

"Anything. Quick."

He thought quickly, "Before I brought you back here, you kind of ruined some windows. Well, ruined is an understatement. To be precise, you actually shattered them into pieces. You even caused some of the walls to crumble. It was really impressive to see such raw power. I didn't think such a thing was real. I only thought instability was a myth or a warning."

"Mmn."

I only wish it was a myth.

He continued, "After I brought you here, the headmaster came to ask about it."

I picked my head up, "Oh?"

"Yes. I told him that you were so angry at the teacher that you broke the windows in the hall. He nodded and left. I'm surprised he believed me and didn't ask me more questions."

I looked towards the wall and noticed a slight bump on its smooth surface. I spoke almost in a daze, "No. He knows what happened. He was just making sure there wasn't any danger."

I noticed his face fall in skepticism. He tapped his finger on his forearm, "Then should we be concerned about what he plans on doing about it?"

I heard him use the word 'we' and felt a strange feeling taking root in my chest. I quickly chased away the feeling and added indifferently, "He accepted the explanation. He won't do anything about it."

"That's a relief. I was worried at first. He isn't the friendliest of people."

I stared at him before dragging myself out of the bed. I calmly patted him on the back. My dull eyes flickered briefly, "...Thank you."

He looked at me before turning away swiftly, "It's not like I did anything. I just didn't want to die."

"Mmn." I turned towards the door, "I should go find Amanda before she starts a nationwide search."

He chuckled as he followed me out the door, "I don't think she would go as far as to do that."

I muttered to myself, "You don't know Amanda."

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot." He walked over to the table and grabbed a book. He walked back to me and handed it over, "Here. You dropped this earlier."

I looked at it before looking back at him, "Mmn."

We walked towards the garden where we usually had our evening tea and snacks. We watched as Amanda was waiting there fidgeting and shaking noticeably. She saw us approach and rushed over to me. She grabbed my skirt like a clingy child, "Oh lady Moao! I thought for sure you were dead! I was about to start a nationwide search!"

I looked over at Raylon expressionlessly, "Mmn."

His face twitched in response.

Amanda looked over from me to Raylon and quickly straightened herself up. She brushed her skirt and beamed at him, "Sir Raylon! I didn't see you there."

He bowed, "Good evening, miss Amanda. I apologize for holding up lady Moao."

She shook her head, "Don't worry about it! Does this mean you don't hate us anymore?"

He had no idea what she was talking about, "Hate?"

"Oh! One second!" Amanda rushed over to the table to open a box.

I explained her behavior feeling a bit exhausted, "She was convinced you hated us since you stopped showing up for tea."

"Oh." He looked away slightly embarrassed. He watched as Amanda rushed back holding a plate with a large smile. He looked down at the plate and smiled, "Is this what I think it is?"

She nodded excitedly, "Yes! I spoke to Princess Mona and she told me that your favorite sweet is the pink mochi rolls. I begged her for the recipe and she graciously gave it to me."

He smiled back at her feeling slightly moved, "I can't wait to try it!"

Amanda led us both over and began to serve tea. She pushed the dessert to him, "Please try it and tell me your honest opinion."

"I would love to." He grabbed a piece and popped it into his mouth. He smiled in pleasure as he felt the wave of sweetness wash over his mouth. He nodded in admiration, "It's wonderful!"

"It is?!"

"Yes! It reminds me of the ones from home."

Amanda silently cheered and stood off to the side silently patting herself on the back. I pulled out my book and began to read it. I saw something sticking out towards me from the corner of my eye. I turned to see a smug face beaming at me.

Raylon smiled, showing his teeth, "Try one. They're delicious."

I looked at it and then back at him. Noticing he was waiting, I reached out and put it in my mouth. He looked at me waiting, "Well?"

I chewed on the sticky dessert with a familiar taste I didn't care for in the slightest. I turned back to my book apathetically, "It's sweet."

He laughed heartily, "Of course! It's the sweet mochi from my land. It's really popular there."

"Mmn."

He held out another one, "Would you like another?"

I stared at it silently before turning back to my book without taking it.

Amanda quickly cut in, "My lady prefers bitter tastes."

She gave me a worried glance as if she was begging me not to chase him away. I ignored her pleas for normalcy.

He let out a sigh, "That's a shame. Unfortunately, I don't think you can find a single bitter thing in my nation. Even our medicine tastes sweet."

Amanda's ears perked up as she realized he wasn't running away, "How surprising! Our people enjoy a mixture of things, but they don't seem to focus on the taste as much as they do the aesthetic. The food and dessert we prepare have to be visually appealing, but the taste doesn't matter as much. Lady Moao is an oddity in our country because she doesn't care about how it looks as long as she likes the taste."

As Raylon and Amanda began to converse about the differences and similarities in their nations, I reached out and grabbed the mochi roll from Raylon. I popped it in my mouth as I continued to read. Amanda looked at me in surprise, but I didn't explain.

It wasn't that I liked the taste, but the familiar flavor brought back bittersweet memories.

Raylon blinked, "Do you… Like it?"

I read my book without answering his question. Why should I answer him?

Amanda smiled and nodded towards Raylon as if she was answering for me. He looked into the distance trying to cover his smile with his hand.