Soft Touch [#1]

What else is new in Shane's life?

Well, this beautiful fucking purple eye! "Ouch." As he held the cold meat to his face, he reminisced about how he got this little new addition to his fashion sense.

Flashback time!

So, there was this new guy in town. Apparently, he's the grandson of the famous Old Warren that owned Warden Farm, a very upstanding citizen of Pelican Town who was known for his willingness to help others and even would sometimes put other's health above his own. Old lady Evelyn swears he once saved her from a big bear, and the old guy did have a large scar on his arm, so that story was easily believed by many! However, contrary to many's expectations and hopes, the new farmer and grandson of the legendary farmer was an asshole.

He did his job well, but the first time someone asked him for something, he just looked at them and told them no. Which, wasn't that bad, if not the fact that he after went around with the thing Abigail had asked for, as if taunting her because the reason given that he didn't want to give them was because he didn't have them. He did that several times until people simply stopped asking things from him, and besides this, he was also a really passive-aggressive asshole and made very rude questions about people.

So, one beautiful ful, Shane was once again drinking when he bumped into the guy. Now, Shane was never an aggressive drunk, but hearing even his beloved aunt talk bad about the guy because he was rude ("He asked me if me and Lewis were officially mated or if we were just hopping around like bunnies, Shane, that's the weirdest way someone has ever asked me If I'm just hooking up with someone.") but everyone else did. He was really weird and talked weird, so not everyone could understand him, and neither everyone tried because - once again - he was an asshole.

"Ah, greetings!" The guy was a tall and buff dork. His hair had this bright scarlet mane of hair, his eyes were a bright green coloration, and his teeth were just a little sharper than normal. "You're Shane, right? The deadbeat alcoholic loser?" The way he said that was so natural that Shane almost confused his asshole question for an innocent question. "What...?" Shane lifted his head, a little groggy, but still sane enough to listen: "What did you just call me?" Although he believed it himself, he didn't want others to say it! "I believe I called you by your title, no? Deadbeat Alcoholic Loser?"

Now, Shane is not a man who fights. But as he looked at the man, he saw his own fist going for the softest place his fist could hit - the balls. 'Huh, this is going to hurt.' Was all he could think as his fist traveled towards its destination. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy, but he deserved it! As his fist hit the balls, instead of folding over in pain, the guy just looked confused at him: "Uhm... Why do you strike me?"

"You fucking asshole." Shane growled out: "No wonder everyone here hates you, you're a fucking asshole!" Saying that seemed to hurt the big guy more than the punch because he just looked at him a little lost before saying: "Uhm, everyone hates me...?" Shane did not say anything else, he punched the guy again and again, but he didn't even seem fazed by it! "Fight me, you coward!" The guy just looked at him for a moment and asked, unsure: "Uh... Are you sure...?" Shane just kept trying to hurt the guy for a moment until he just muttered a "very well." Under his breath before Shane lost consciousness. He woke up lying in one of Harvey's beds, just looking at the sky, his head hurting.

Well, to be fair, he did ask for that.

Weirdly enough, Harvey said he didn't have to pay anything because the weirdo farmer guy paid for it already, which Shane felt like was pity. So, the next time he saw him walking in the city, he avoided him - but why did he look so sad...? Shane shaked his head, ignoring him. And so, like that, a week passed! Shane always saw the farmer alone, and he looked like he was genuinely sad and depressed, sitting alone by the river bank and fishing with monstrous efficiency, almost as if the fish were offering themselves for him.

The last straw was when he saw him siting alone by the bitch, crying.

"Okay, what the fuck!?" Shane asked himself and there was this weird tingling feeling in his chest. He approached slowly and sat down by the pier with the guy, in silence - until he started to speak, softly asking: "...why did you ask me to strike you? I didn't want to hurt someone weaker than me, I thought you would be able to resist it since you were asking for it." Shane felt shame from the bottom of his heart as he heard 'weaker than me', but that was the truth. He waited for a moment, and soon enough, the guy kept talking: "Why does everyone hate me...? I did everything my grandfather told me to, I did everything my mother told me to, I even did the weird calling others by their title at all times thing... Why does everyone hate me?"

"Ugh, fuck." It felt like he had bullied a child, someone who didn't understand what they were doing wrong. 'This can only be an attempt at manipulating me or something... and damn, it's working. Curse me and my weakness towards big men.' Shane took a deep breath for a moment before saying: "Seriously? You dangle things you tell people you don't have in front of their faces just to mock them, you insult everyone at all times, and you even ask weird rude questions." Shane saw how the guy turned and looked even smaller, as if shrinking into himself for a moment: "I did that...? I only did the costumes!" He pulled this book that read in a very bad handwriting: [Costumes of the Human World] on it. He filled the pages of the book and showed him something written there that Shane almost couldn't read:

[Rule 134: Always call others as their title. Normally, it is the first thing you hear others call them, that or the most repeated thing.]

"See?" He grumbled: "The blond small guy was called Annoying Brother, then the purple haired girl was called Rock Eating Goblin Bitch, and the smoking guy was called Shut-in Weebo without a Life!" I-is this guy for real? He turned to look at him, saying: "Humans are so weird... You got angry because I called you what everyone else does, and I don't understand!" He shaked his hands over his hair, and it seemed to grow wider and fluffier as he did so: "Ah..." He sighed softly, looking really sad again: "And now everyone hates me because of that...? Did I get their titles wrong? Do they not like their title? I mean, I had various growing up, from Earthdevourer to Shit Goblin. Why can't they just tell me their titles?"

"Are you kidding me right now?" What is this? Some kind of weird shit? "What are you even talking about?"

"Uhrgh." He groaned: "Look-" He showed Shane his hand, and for a confused moment, until he saw the nails turn this dark black color and grow a few inches off. "-see?" Shane felt like he was hallucinating because the guy suddenly looked larger, wilder, and he had these large pointy and slightly furry ears that had the same red hair coming out of them. This long and thick tail also moved behind his back, like a cat's tail, but weirdly holding onto the fishing rod the farmer had in his hands previously: "Normally I'd just greet them the Fey way, but humans are all weird about this and that, so mom told me to come as a human and try to fit in or whatever-" The tail let go of the fishing rod as the feet picked it up, and those feet looked like a weird combination of feline and monkey feet, having strange toe beans. The tail turned around and wrapped around his waist, holding him still as the beast spoke like a human being; "-but then you suddenly say everyone hates me and wants be to strike you... Did I do something wrong?"

He looked terribly floofy, but Shane's sane part of his brain told him to run the fuck away! "Uhm, buddy, can you put me down so I can run and scream?" The big guy just looked at his tail for a moment, and it simply let him go. Shane fell from a height of approximately 2 meters, oofing as his body hurt a little, and the big guy reverted to just being a regular human guy: "Sorry." He apologized, looking bashful: "..." He didn't say anything, but his green eyes now looking more inhuman than anything...

"Are humans so soft?" Shane was too stunned to move because the big guy just had his hands on his body, touching him softly, as if afraid he'd break: "You're so adorable... Like a winged pig or a chubby wingless kocoo murder bird."

"Ah... thank you?" Confused and genuinely not knowing what to do - does he run? Can he outrun the guy? Shane just stold there: "Anyway... What were we talking about again?"

"How I'm apparently bad?"

"Oh, right, that." Shane took a deeo breath: "Listen, It's just... the things you did are considered very rude and bad. You were insulting everyone - or calling them by their title, as you called it - and literally mocking them with the things they wanted or needed by saying you didn't have them and dangled it in front of their eyes." The more he spoke, the more confused the big guy looked, and the more sad he looked as well. Shane couldn't stop the slight heartbeat throb at the sad little face the big guy had- It fucking hurt his heart! "Look... You might be whatever you are..."

"Oh, I'm a Kronushalus Oriin Orkus!"

"...a what now?"

"Uhm, I think you humans call us... Fairies? I mean, I'm a large shapeshifter, so I don't know why someone would call me a fairy."

"Uh... Okay." Shane waved his hand for a moment because the guy was too close to his face, his body practically breathing down his very human body. "So, uh, what can I call you? Everyone just calls you farmer, never told us your name."

"Uhm... Name? You wanna know my name?"

"Sure." Shane nodded: "My name's Shane... You?"

For some reason, the big guy blushed as he took Shane's hand softly, whispering: "Magnous. Magnous Omegnum."

Little did Shane know, he had just married to a prince.