Chapter 5

As I'm sitting on the couch, trapping myself in my thoughts, the front door opens and my friend, sister, and confidant come through the door. "Kemi-- Kemi-- Ms. Wright-- Girl I am talking to you!" Fei says to me walking over to the couch where I am. I look up slowly at Fei and she sits down next to me, with her bag of Chinese food in her hand saying, "Hey! I thought I lost you there for a moment. Trapped in your thoughts or were you thinking about that male customer?"

She takes the food out of the bag, places the food on her lap and taking out her chopsticks, and digs into her ginger sesame tofu. Fei is vegan, a sigh escapes from my mouth, "Did you know that Quinton was here today, waiting for me to come home?"

"Really-- Hold up, how did that fool find out where we live?"

Placing my index to my chin, "I don't know. But after seeing him today, my mind took me back to six months ago." The tears in my eyes begin to swell, "I was thinking that maybe it's my fault why he's dead." The tears escaped from my eyes, "The day he came back, I told him that I loved him and how much I wanted to be with him. The next day I told Quinton that I wanted to break things off with him, and the following day I saw him," placing my hands to my neck, "sitting in a chair tied up and his throat sliced."

Fei moves her food off her lap, placing it on the other side of the couch beside her. "Do not let that bastard mess with your head, he is a piece of shit. The cost of a life is too much to bear and it's not your fault that he's dead." Placing her hands lightly on both sides of my cheeks, "Listen to me Kemi, you are a strong, black, and gorgeous woman. Hell if you weren't straight I'd date you, but your heart can't help what it wants. Quinton is a giant turd who killed his brother because Aquila decided to stand up to his brother and fight for the woman he loves. Aquila, Me, and everyone else knows; that you are innocent." She moves her hands from my cheeks to my hands, placing hers on top of mine, "Kemi, you can't sit here allowing yourself to be consumed by grief and or guilt. I know it hurts you a lot when Aquila died, he was security, he gave you lovin' when you needed it, he was your peace of mind. Even when he left you to go to Europe; you decided to stick with him until he told you to find your true happiness. What I'm saying here is-- is that you have all this pain in your heart and you have to let it go to truly move on with your life. I think you might need help, like some grieving counseling. All I need is to come home to find my best friend hanging from the ceiling with her dying message tapped to her body."

A small smile forms on my face and I give Fei a small push, "Stop. I probably should talk to someone."

Fei Chan nods her head, "Not to get off subject, but like for real, for real how did he find out where we live? Like that shit is mad weird." she says with a mouth filled with food.

My eyebrows furrow and my head is slanted to the side, "You know, I don't know. Fei, it is weird that he knew. I should've asked how he found out."

"Yo, your ex is nuts-- small FYI," Fei says.

We sit on the couch in silence, she finishes her food by throwing out the empty container, grabbing the remote off of the stool in front of the television, and sits back down on the couch with me. "Seriously, Kemi cheer up. How about you and I sit down and we watch a good Asian drama on Viki. I'll even put on the subtitles for us so you can understand too."

A small chuckle escapes from my mouth while I wrap my arm around hers, "You know, that isn't too bad, to sit here and lose myself in a good Asian drama." She turns on the television, "We are such otaku's."

"Who you tellin'!" she says while scrolling through the main menu on the screen and scrolling down to the Viki. "So which show do you want to watch?"

"Oooh, how about a Korean drama, we can watch, "My secretaries secret life." That looks pretty interesting."

She clicks on it saying, "Well let's read the synopsis." We read the synopsis, she looks at me and I look up at her and we nod heads together, Fei says, "Let's watch this. Kemille you have a knack for picking the right show."

"Thanks, I try," I said while grabbing the nearest blanket placing it over the both of us.

For the remainder of the night, the both of us are enjoying every episode, one right after the other. 'No matter how many episodes I watch for comfort, this can't erase the guilt or pain I feel in my chest. There is one thing that Fei is right about and that is that it's not my fault, but I feel that I am at fault. Going down and claiming suicide of all things that 'happened'-- it's crazy and ludicrous.' I think to myself, 'No matter how you look at it, the cops have no evidence of foul play. If hints are dropped he'll know that I've been tipping off the cops.' I shake my head, the detective that was on the case, didn't seem convinced of the story that Quinton gave him six months ago, perhaps he'll look more into what did happen to Aquila. Getting that scumbag off the street is the only way for me to make sure that he does get justice.' Having a day off gave me a chance to get my mind together from what happened yesterday between me, my mind, and Quinton.

It's the afternoon time, bursting through the double black doors, speeding walking through to the bakery department. "Hey, Yolanda and Joyce."

"Hey Kemille, how are you?" Yolanda said while placing all the brioche bread on a black cart, preparing it to be packed out.

Joyce turns to face me while handing over a cake to a customer, the customer stretches over to grab the cake from her hands saying, "Hey, Kemi!"

"Kemille, come follow me," Yolanda says. I walk over to her through the coffee bar department standing next to her. She then says to me while walking to the kitchen, "Kemi, I want you to just set up the croissants and cookies for tomorrow in the morning and" she walks out of the kitchen walking on the floor now, "tonight you close with Hannah, so try to stay focus, she can chat a lot. Most everything has been done, just fill in the croissant table, cookie table, flan, and tiramisu cake slices."

"Okay, while I'm in the back taking care of doing set up she can be upfront taking care of this stuff."

"As long as it gets done. That's enough for me; how are you?"

"I'm okay." a sigh escapes from my mouth.

"That 'sigh' says something else. It's none of my business, but if you ever feel the need to take some time. Then I have no problem giving you that time just, let me know."

"Thank you, Yolanda." I place my hand on top of her shoulder, "But I'm okay, just trapped in my thoughts it sucks a whole lot." I said while removing my hand from her shoulder.

We walked back to the department together in silence. Yolanda is a highly perceptive person, she always knows when one of us is in a foul mood. "Alright, so did you get everything she said to you?"

"Joyce, don't start with the bullshit," Yolanda says as her mouth becomes a paper-thin line while rolling her eyes at Joyce.

She shrugs while saying, "I wanted to make sure that she understood what you said to her."

"She's not an ignoramus." Yolanda says, "Have you taken your break yet?"

"No."

Yolanda's eyes turn into slits, "Then you should take it." My team leader used to be a sergeant in the army. Sometimes we call her Sergeant Yola— especially when she gets like this. A small gasp escapes from her mouth and without question she leaves the department to take her break.

"Thank God. She gets on my nerves." Yolanda says while walking into the department, grabbing the black cart that has boxes piled up on it. Shaking her head, "All she does is talk shit and even that's enough to drive someone crazy."

A small chuckle escapes from my mouth, "Yola, you're crazy."

"Nah-- she's lazy as hell. All morning long complaining about bullshit," she comes in a little closer, saying in a quiet hushed tone, "I told her that if you're not going to fix it do me and the whole world a favor and shut the fuck up."

Yola and I start laughing, suddenly a voice breaks our laughing fit, "Excuse me, but did I miss the joke?" Mareena says she's my boss.

A small breath of air escapes from Yola's mouth, "No, we were just laughing about this morning."

"Okay, are you guys aware of the fact that we ran out of our famous tea and coffee in the individual bottles?"

Yolanda and I nod our heads together, just as I am about to go to the back she says, "So, how have things been out here?"

"It's been okay, we've been busy recently-- you know mother's day is approaching and people are trying to get some last-minute gifts for mom."

Mareena is a part of corporate for the bakery department, she makes surprise visits all the time, including now. As I'm in the back setting up the cookies on the cookie sheet, meanwhile my mind slowly goes back to last night. Even though I've promised Fei I'd leave the Aquila topic alone, thinking about him has become a slight bit of a pass time since yesterday. "Kemi." A faint voice in the background calls to me— I think. Just thinking about that day alone had me all fucked up. "Kemi!" Yola shouts out my name. "Kemi, I'm talking to you!" Yola says from behind me.

I jumped once I heard her voice so close to my ear, "Oh shit! You scared me, Yolanda, is everything okay?"

"No, I wanted you to take care of the customer outside, while I go outside to throw out the trash." She turns around to exit the kitchen and I follow after her. Once I get to the front, I see a set of blue eyes staring at me and a smile graces his face.

My eyes go back and forth between Yola and the customer, she turns around to face me before leaving the department saying into my ear, "Are you going to just stand there or are you going to help him?"

I turned to look at her in the face, shaking my head, "Uuh, sorry just had a moment there."

Yola then walks back to the cart, turning to look at me "Well go, move that ass."

A small chuckle escapes from my lips, as I watch her walk away from the department. I walk over to the customer saying, "Hi, how can I help you?"

"Can I have a medium coffee— please?"

'You don't have to beg.' I think to myself. I nod my head at his request and I walk over to the register. While logging on the register I noticed that his eyes became two small slits hiding his blue eyes. Following the direction of where his eyes are looking, 'Wow, the nerve of this guy staring at my chest— well I'm no better just the other day I was ogling at this guy's lips. But I can't just let this guy have his fun.' I think to myself, I clear my throat, "I know my rack is packing a little."

His eyes become the size of a CD, "Whoa— I didn't mean it like that." He pauses for a moment while watching his eyes move from side to side. Trying to figure out what's going on in his mind. "I was trying to see your name tag," I squinted my eyes at him while he raises his hands in the air as if I'm the cops, "Honest. I would never try to degrade a woman ever."

I nod my head, "'Cause it's the 21st century."

He blinks while pointing, "Yeah." While he nods his head.

"Umm, what are you getting?"

"Oh— a medium black coffee is good."

"Okay," I said while putting in his order. Turning around to get the cup and pour some drip coffee in a cup for him. A hot fresh cup of coffee for him. "If the coffee is all you're getting, you can pay for it now if you like." Walking back to the register sliding the coffee over to him, he reaches his hand to grab the cup while lightly grazing mine. The both of us look at our hands-on on top of each other, a small gasp escapes from his lips. I remove my hand from the cup quickly, my heart slightly melts under his touch. He taps his phone to the credit card machine to pay for his coffee.

Just before leaving the register, he says, "All right I'm good to go then?"

A small smile graces my face, "Yes, enjoy the rest of our day sir."

He winks at me, "I will. Thanks Kemille." he says while walking towards the door.

"Wait," he stops to turn around, "how do you know my name?"

A small chuckle escapes from his lips, "Your name tag silly. I'll--"

"What's your name?"

A small smile plays on his lips, "I'll see you tomorrow." He walks out through the front door, I stand behind the register watching him walk out of the store.

'Today we spoke, he called me silly,' I think to myself as I walk to the back to continue setting up the croissants, normally we make it from scratch-- our baker is currently on vacation, to see her family. I get to the back, to continue setting up the croissants and cookies on a silver rack to be placed in the cooler.

"So, Yolanda's favorite worker is back at it once again. Now as you know, I don't particularly like you much." Joyce is standing just outside the entrance of the kitchen. Stopping to turn and look at her, "I saw you with that man, giving him googly eyes, it may be vice versa but there is no fraternizing with the customers."

A small chuckle escapes from my lips, "Here I thought that it was, no fraternizing with coworkers."

Yola comes back and she's standing right behind Joyce, placing her arm around her shoulder. "The bitch never stops d