An End For Herself

*Ryan's POV*

"Psst."

Lumapit naman sa'kin sina Vin at Ken.

"Oh, bakit?"

"Anong nangyayari dun?" Tinignan naman nila kung saan ako nakatingin.

"Ewan ko." Sagot ni Ken.

"Ako din." Sabi naman ni Vin.

It's the last day of practice kaya sa Okada na kami pinapunta ni Erica. Bukas narin yung schedule para sa toga. And Ms. Ces wanted us back on school sa friday.

We were rehearsing earlier kung saan yung entrance and exit for the dance. Pero may mali. Kanina pa.

Nag-uusap si Theia at.. Nathan.

Charm was with Erica. Si Ivy naman, nasa kabilang side ng hall kasama sila Steph at Gwen. I can see her glancing at them habang nakikipagusap sa kanila.

Biglang tumawa si Theia.

"Is that normal?"

"Not now." Vin answered. "Hindi ngayong may 'babe' na nanunuod."

"What's happening?" Ken asked. "Kailan pa sila nagtawanan ulit?"

Hindi ko rin alam.

Kahapon din nakita ko sila lumabas sa iisang kotse nung papasok ako sa school.

"Shouldn't we talk to Theia?"

"Oo nga." Ken agreed. "Hindi ba masyadong delikado para sa kanya yung ginagawa niya?"

"I'll talk to her later." Sagot ko.

It feels weird watching them together. Hindi pa sila naghihiwalay kahit kanina pa tapos yung rehearsal. Ivy walked out as soon as we finished.

"Okay na kaya sila?"

"I don't think so." Sagot ko. "Mukhang hindi okay yung isa."

"Sinong isa?"

"He's referring to himself, bro." Sabi ni Ken.

Binatukan ko nga.

"G*go. Hindi ako." I said. "Ayun oh."

Naturo tuloy ng kamay ko yung pwesto niya tapos bigla siyang tumingin sa'kin. I turned around pero sigurado akong alam niyang siya yung pinag uusapan namin.

"Ayan, nabatukan ka tuloy."

"Aray, Ryan ha."

Napalakas yata yung batok ko.

"You started it." Sagot ko. "Kung ano ano kasing sinasabi mo."

"Aba malay ko ba." Sabi niya. "Imposible namang di ka nasasaktan sa nakikita mo."

"Oy!" Si Vin na yung babatok sa kanya pero nakailag siya agad.

"No way." Sabi ni Ken. "Naka-isa na si Ry e."

"Ang dami mo kasing sinasabi." Vin said. "Dapat takpan yang bibig mong yan."

"Blehhh!"

"Pag ikaw nahabol ko, lagot ka talaga sa'kin."

And they run off habang ako tahimik lang.

Ken has a point.

I'm still hurt until now.

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan..

But it doesn't matter.

It may hurt so much to see her like this pero kasalanan niya rin kung bakit nangyayari 'to sa kanya.

Kung tama man yung nalaman namin ni Gab, this is all happening because of her. Kasalanan niya lahat.

There's no one to blame but her.

And if she knew what really happened pero hindi parin siya tumitigil, maling mali na siya.

***

"Ry. Gab."

Kuya was sitting on his office when we came in.

"Kuya." Gab and I nodded to him.

"Please sit."

He stood up and went to the couch. Sumunod naman kami sa kanya.

"This is very unusual." Sabi niya. "Ngayon niyo lang ako pinuntahan sa office."

"I asked Gab to come with me." Sagot ko. "I'm sorry kung naabala ka namin, Kuya."

"No, it's okay." He said. "This seemed urgent. Anong meron? May nangyari ba?"

"It's about Theia." Gab said.

"What about her?" Biglang naging seryoso yung mukha niya.

"What happened with Nathan, Kuya?" Tanong ko. "Hindi ko maintindihan yung nagyayari."

"Bakit? May mali ba siyang nagawa?"

"Wala." I answered. "Akala ko ayaw niya maalala si Theia. What is he doing now?"

"Theia and I already talked about this." Sagot niya. "She wanted to fight for him."

"And?"

"You let her do that??" Gab asked.

"Of course."

"Dahil lang sa gusto niya?"

"What was I supposed to do?" He said. "If she wants to fight, I need to let her."

"Kuya, alam na namin yung nangyayari kay Courts." Sabi ni Gab. "That is clearly the reason why hindi siya pwedeng lumaban."

"No, Gab." Sagot ni Kuya. "That is the reason why hinahayaan ko siyang gawin yung gusto niya. She's going to die and we can't do anything to stop that."

"Dahil lang dun??"

"You don't understand, Ry." Sabi niya. "Hindi niyo maiintindihan dahil hindi kayo yung Kuya niya. Nahirapan din akong magdesisyon pero kailangan kasi para kay Theia lahat ng yun."

"You don't want her to regret not fighting for him.. lalo na't mamamatay siya.." Bulong ni Gab.

Kuya slowly nodded.

If they put it that way..

Baka kahit ako, gawin din yun para sa kanya.

"Can't you atleast think about it, Kuya?"

"No. Ayaw ko na siyang pahirapan." He said. "She already knows that she's dying at hindi ko na yun mababawi sa kanya.."

"Nalaman niya..?"

"I slipped, Gab." Sagot niya. "Nung nag-usap sila ni Ry and she lost consciousness, I got so scared of losing her. Galit na galit ako and I burst. I ended up telling her everything.."

If I didn't talk to her, mangyayari kaya lahat ng 'to?

"I'm sorry, Kuya.."

"It wasn't your fault, Ry." He said. "Kasalanan ko. I was too confident na magiging okay lang siya."

"She was strong before, kahit tayo lang yung nasa tabi niya. And I trusted her to do the same now." Sabi niya. "Pero nagkamali ako. He became a part of her life. Baka nga siya pa yung naging buhay ng kapatid ko. And she lost him."

"Hindi ko na alam kung kakayanin pa ng katawan niya ngayong wala na si Nathan sa tabi niya."

Theia had that two traits na pinakaayaw ko.

One is that, she keep her problems to herself.

Hindi siya mahilig mag-open up kahit sa'ming mga kaibigan niya. But Nathan changed her life and when he left, nasira rin yung buhay na yun.

"Kaya ba hahayaan lang natin siyang gawin kung anong gusto niya?"

Kuya nodded. "If you have a better idea, I'll listen."

"Edi--"

"If it won't hurt her."

Napatingin kami ni Gab sa isa't isa.

"Paano kung may ginawang mali si Nathan?"

"Meron ba?"

"Wala pa." Sagot ni Gab. "Pero paano kung meron?"

"Then I'll do whatever it takes to stop Theia."

"Paano kung hindi naman siya maalala ni Nathan?"

"It doesn't matter." Kuya answered. "Theia doesn't care if he remembers her or not."

"What???"

"Gusto lang niya makasama si Nathan.."

Sh*t. Nagiging selfless ka nanaman, Theia.

I really hate that trait of yours.

"And if he becames the reason for her to die???"

Hindi nakasagot agad si Kuya.

Malamang naisip niya narin yun. There's a huge possibility that it will happen.

"I see your point, Ry." Sagot niya. "Tinanong ko din siya niyan. The thing is, she already has an answer for that."

"At mukhang hindi mo gusto yung sagot niya."

He didn't need to answer. Halata naman.

"Anong sinabi ni Courts?"

"She's ready to die because of him."

That's the reason why she doesn't care kahit hindi na siya maalala.

She's saying goodbye.

Napag-isipan niya nang mamatay para sa kanya..

Theia already chose the ending.

It's an end for herself.

******