On Loop

It begins again.

The green seatbelt sign above him lights up as the gasps grow louder.

I can't die tonight. I still have stockholders' meeting tomorrow.

He peers at the thick gray clouds outside the window and marvels at the strength of the turbulence in the last twenty minutes. He's pissed by himself. The staff already informed him about the bad weather but he still go and grab the last flight.

Beside him, a brown-haired girl about his age sleeps peacefully, her head half buried in her yellow neck pillow. She remains blissfully indifferent to the growing mayhem around her.

Suddenly, the lights dim and the pilot's voice crackles over the speaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we ask you to stay in your seats and fasten your seatbelt. Keep your seats at the upright position with your tray tables stowed. We will be encountering more turbulence, so please bear with us."

A couple more terrifying bumps hit the plane. He bits his bottom lip, valiantly trying not to cuss. He glances at the sleeping girl beside him and squints his eyes in the faint cabin light.

She looked strangely familiar to him. Maybe a trainee? He had so many classes these past few months that he could never remember them all. Still, he is impressed by her obliviousness. How come the people inside the plain are screaming, while she... she's still sleeping and not minding the things that are going on.

After what seems like a torturous eternity, the lights came back and the plane quietly drifts into calmer territory. The babies have now stopped wailing. An uncertain hush falls upon the passengers as they try to regain their composture.

He sighs and sits properly. The girl beside him suddenly opens her eyes and looked at him.

"Morning!" she said. Her eyes. He thinks her eyes are somewhat familiar.

His heart suddenly flusters.

Those eyes. He swears he has seen them before, but he can't remember where or when. In the midst of all the chaos, he finds himself utterly transfixed by those eyes, those lashes, and those lips.

He close his eyes for a moment and inhales the air that lingers around her. Vanilla and lemon -- this is the scent he knows so well, but does not know how or why. He remembers her and can't place her at the same time.

She is saying something, her lips are moving, but he hears nothing. He knows those lips but the exact memory escapes him. The lips begin to form a smile, and swears he's seen that smile before.

She sits up, peels of her neck pillow, and proceeds to fix her hair. As she gathers it up in a high bun, she exposes her lovely caramel-colored neck and shoulders, teasing him with a sense of deja vu. Alam niya na mayroong nunal ang dalaga kahit hindi niya pa ito nakita.

He studies her little hand tying her hair and sees a little ring around her finger. A yellow diamond in its center sparkles in the din light of the cabin... an engagement ring. Strangely enough, he feels that he knows this for a fact. He knows how much it costs. He even knows it was given in the midst of winter.

Somehow he knows all of this but does not remember. He does not know her name of face. He does not know her at all.

"Are you okay?" the maiden asked him.

He scans his memory again. Is she someone he met at the corporate event? A friend of a friend? An old classmate from Bulacan?

She relaxes back into her seat, gives him another heart-stopping smile, and gently adjusts her diamond ring. "So you're reading it again?"

He frowns, unaware of what she is referring to.

She gestures to a hardbound book inserted in the front pocket across his chair. "The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea." she points out. "Did you know, I've always wondered about the book's title."

"Uhm well... the author is a big Carpenters fan. I think it's their song lyrics..." he pauses, suddenly unsure of his own actions. Why am I even explaining to her? None of this was making sense.

"Aha! That's why it's familiar!" she hums a tune he doesn't recognize. "You know that Papa's a big fan of that band."

"Papa?"

She smiles and playfully punches his arm. "Omg! You forgot about that didn't you?! Papa will get mad." she says. "Anyway, since you've read that book like a hundred of times already, tell me about it."

Papa? Carpenters? Hundred of times??But I've only started reading the book! What the hell was going on? Yet before he can stop, he finds himself answering her question. "Well, it talks about the choices and how they impact everything else... that if you could do things all over again, the best choices are actually the same as the ones you made before..."

"The best choices are same as the ones you made before." she echoes wistfully as she leans closer, her vanilla and lemon scent intoxicating him, triggering an uncertain sense of nostalgia he cannot place.

A thousand incomprehensible thoughts race through his head, yet before he can even begin to make any sense, he finds himself leaning into her and kissing her with inexplicable desperation. It feels utterly familiar and utterly new at the same time. Waves of confusion flood his system but everything feels right. Somehow, this kiss is something he needs. It is something he knows. It is something he has done a thousand times before.

She slowly peels her lips from his, leaving him lost but wanting. Now he is torn between wanting to kiss her again and wanting to find out what the hell is going on.

She leans closer and brings her lips to his ear.

"Find me..." she whispers.

The plane suddenly hits another invisible bump, eliciting gasps from terrified passengers behind him. He closes his eyes as he strains to hear the rest of her words.

"... and choose me again."

A horrible feeling of impending doom floods his senses. The lights in the plane begin to flicker once again.

Dark. Light. Dark. Light.

Dark.