The most deplorable baby

Wangyun Peak felt a lot quieter after Chen Anyue and Yuan Xuelan's departure. The Lunar Year was approaching and the festive mood felt off with despair looming ahead in the future.

Liu Fumao commanded them to take their minds off the war and instead focus on relaxing. It would be their only chance before the war would consume their day-to-day lives. Liu Sumeng found himself still stuck on his own foolish mistake. Why hadn't he spoken to Chen Anyue before her departure!? Now things would turn into a real mess. Perhaps it would be best for him to consult his uncle on the matter directly and for him to convey the news to her.

But that didn't feel fair. And thus Liu Sumeng was left to wallow in his despair alone. New Year was soon upon them and Liu Sumeng couldn't remember why he was wandering through the village in the company of Liu Suye and Xu Hexian. The reason couldn't have been too important if he had already forgotten about it.

It was evening but a little too early for any nighttime festivities. Liu Suye led them into a lively establishment with bustling business. The owner was eager to make room for the cultivators to serve them food and tea but Liu Suye stopped him. "We're looking for someone," he said.

The restaurant owner had a flash of disappointment flicker across his face before that wide smile was again plastered there, "Yes, yes? Who might you be looking for?"

Xu Hexian jumped in, "Around this tall." The height he showed was a little above Liu Suye, who frowned at the offending hand and forced it lower. "He's probably coughing or sleeping around in odd places."

Liu Suye continued, "Wears all colors of the rainbow. Sometimes he's seen holding a horsewhip."

Ah. Right. Liu Sumeng remembered now. They were on a hunt for Liu Langce. It was a hopeless endeavor though, because when the Guanghai Elder didn't want to be found, it was, indeed, impossible to find him.

The shop owner frowned, "If such a character were to be seen around these parts I would certainly have remembered. Sorry Young Masters. I fear he did not come around here."

"It's okay!" Xu Hexian waved his hand in reassurance and gave his brightest smile, "Thank you for your time!"

"However if Young Masters would like to stay for some dinner please do!" The shop owner chirped, "We have the finest cauliflower in town!"

"Thank you, but we really need to be off." Liu Suye was smiling as well. Standing off to the side, Liu Sumeng forgot why he bothered coming along in the first place. The younger Liu brother was questioning his past self's decisions.

The shop owner was stubborn and grasped Huamian-jun's sleeves, "Please stay."

Liu Sumeng had enough. He stepped forth and glared down at the short, round shopkeeper. "We are leaving."

And they left. Xu Hexian trailed after with a string of laughter, "Did you see his face!" He slapped his thigh. "That poor man was going to wet his pants right there and then! Why are you so scary, Meng-xiong?" The day was getting dark but with the new Lunar Year approaching, the streets were quite lively, filled with people who bowed and greeted as they passed. The villagers weren't aware of the threats that cultivators faced.

Liu Sumeng was quiet. His countenance was one full of annoyance as he strode on ahead, eager to head to the next establishment as quickly as possible so they could officially call a close to this pointless investigation.

"I'll have to say, A-Chao does make this whole endeavor more interesting than it is!" Liu Suye laughed along with his friend.

Liu Sumeng stopped and peered over his shoulder. And this time Liu Suye and Xu Hexian found themselves at the end of Liu Sumeng's frosty glare.

"Ahahaha…"

"Erm…I didn't even say anything!"

Liu Sumeng was quiet in his threats and his warnings. Eventually, he turned his attention back to the road ahead and moved on.

The two behind the Ivory Sword Saint let out a deep sigh of relief.

They ended up overturning the entire village without a single hint to the Guanghai Elder's whereabouts. Was it a surprise though? Not really.

The three cultivators found themselves next to a food stall, each nursing a hot baked yam under bright constellations. Xu Hexian and Liu Suye sat on a bench while Liu Sumeng stood next to them.

"Where could he have gone?" Xu Hexian sighed, "New Years isn't as fun without Shizun! He's the only one I can beat at drinking!"

"...Does it matter?" Liu Sumeng asked.

"I won't lie," Liu Suye frowned, "I understand that it's his personality but frankly I'm a little disappointed that Shizun decided to run away."

"Right!?" Xu Hexian threw up his arms and shot Liu Sumeng an accusing look, "Don't tell me you did something to scare him off."

Liu Sumeng didn't respond and took another bite of baked yam, totally missing the twinkle of mischief in his brother's eyes.

"Hey, remember the time when A-Chao used to be afraid of ghosts? He was so cute back then, clinging onto my arm and asking me to exorcise his room for him."

Liu Sumeng almost chocked on his sweet potato.

Xu Hexian glared at Liu Suye, "How the heck am I supposed to remember? Was I even born?"

Liu Suye tilted his head and furrowed his brow in thought, "Ah, I suppose you weren't." He received a shove as a response.

"Then tell me the full story!"

Liu Sumeng wasn't keen on hearing the whole story, so he shot Huamian-jun daggers with his eyes. But Liu Suye was a master at dodging and pointedly turned his back to his younger brother. "Alright, then let me tell you about a time when A-Chao was very cute and so very sweet.

"When he was a baby he used to always cling to my sleeve and cry when I wasn't around. He had these big doe eyes always filled with tears because he was scared of ghosts. Truth be told, he used to think Uncle Fumao was a ghost and always cried when he saw Uncle's face."

"Stop exaggerating." Liu Sumeng smacked Liu Suye's head with his fist without restraint or guilt.

"Ouch!! Why are you so mean to your Dage now?" Liu Suye pouted at him, "Ah seriously, you were way cuter as a baby."

"Everyone's cuter as a baby," Liu Sumeng deadpanned.

Liu Suye hummed and then pointed out, "Nope, that's not true! A-Cai wasn't a very cute baby."

Xu Hexian instantly cried, scandalized, "What are you saying!? I was very adorable!"

But this time, the Ivory Sword Saint was nodding in agreement, "That's true. Hexian wasn't cute."

"H-huh!? This is totally slander!"

"No, but even as a baby you were a pervert." Liu Suye lifted a pointed finger, "You only cared about women with big breasts!"

"What!?" Xu Hexian crossed his arms, his face now visibly red. "I was probably just hungry!"

Liu Sumeng continued to nod, "When you were a baby, you told Auntie Fang, 'You're not sexy enough' when she tried to hug you."

"W-what."

"That's right! And you said to Auntie Ren that her boobs were saggy and ugly!"

"W-what kind of baby even says words like that!"

"Exactly." The two Liu brothers said at the same time.

Liu Suye continued without mercy, "That's why you were the most deplorable baby to exist at Wangyun Peak."

Liu Sumeng agreed, "Very uncute."

Xu Hexian groaned and hid his face in his palms, "This can't possibly be true! How come I never heard about this before…? You guys are just making this up to bully me…"

"Xiao A-Cai…have you never thought about why the older Aunties all look at you with disgust on their face?" Liu Suye inched closer to the depressed Xu Hexian on the bench and rubbed comforting circles into his back. Too bad Huamian-jun's words were way more hurtful than his actions were kind.

"You're right!" Xu Hexian despaired, "Ah…! How could that be…!"

Liu Sumeng huffed as he observed these two ridiculous fools. It wasn't that cold without the bite of the wind and the hot yam in their hands kept them a little warm.

Liu Suye sighed again and once again brought the conversation back to the missing Guanghai Elder, "It's the last chance we'll be able to spend together as a family. Doesn't Shizun understand that? What if I die in war? Wouldn't that be pitiful?"

"Don't even joke about it. If you're going to die, then what about me?" Xu Hexian rolled his eyes.

"I suppose you'll keep me company in the underworld."

No. Liu Sumeng wouldn't allow that to happen. Not again. "I will protect you both," he suddenly blurted out.

Both Liu Suye and Xu Hexian froze and shared a look.

"A-Chao, are you ok?"

"Did you eat anything funny?"

Liu Sumeng only shook his head. Before they could bombard him with more pointed and worried questioning, a fearful cry of a young man screeched in the distance, startling the three cultivators.

The old woman of the yam stand scowled, "She's at it again."

Xu Hexian frowned and pressed, "Who is 'she'? What's going on?"

"There's a ghost terrorizing the poor young men of this village. She's after their lips," she explained.

The explanation was odd and vague. But at the mention of a ghost, the three cultivators understood that this issue was theirs to solve.

They made their way towards the origin of the scream and found a young man fallen on the ground. There was someone or something else with a slighter frame hunched over him, but when it saw the three approaching men it was quick to flee.

Liu Sumeng rushed to the fallen man while Xu Hexian chased after the escaping shadow.

"Kid! Are you alright?" Liu Suye knelt next to his brother and shook the stranger that laid in the Ivory Sword Saint's arms.

The man grumbled as he sat up. He was relatively young and handsome for a village boy and aside from his tousled robes he did not appear injured. But his face was as white as a sheet of paper. He must have been scared out of his mind.

He looked at Liu Sumeng and took in a gasping gulp of air, "Huge…tits!"

…What?

The young man fainted in Liu Sumeng's arms.