Chapter 18: The Okama in the Water

Several hours later, the Straw Hat pirates were dying of hunger.

The lack of food was becoming a major issue for the pirates. They were still at least a day away from reaching the desert kingdom, but the fish were just not biting. Morale was low and nearly everyone looked mutinous. All of the supplies were drained from the previous two parties so they couldn't even pester Petrea for chocolate treats.

"Look!" Usopp pointed weakly. "What is that up ahead?"

Rising above the waves was a large, dominating plume of smoke. The colors were as plentiful and beautiful as the smell was repugnant.

"Hmm...my guess is that it is an underwater volcano," Nami focused on it. "It's interesting to think that a whole brand new island will appear here in about ten thousand years."

"Really?!" Chopper and Steven said at the same time. "That's amazing!"

"Let's play a game!" Steven cast out his rod once more. "Let's think of the best name for the new island!"

"The Meat Kingdom," Luffy drooled.

"The Land of Chocolate," Petrea licked her lips.

"Oatmeal," Usopp sighed.

The crew just stopped and stared. "...really? 'Oatmeal?'" Nami groaned.

"It's a perfectly serviceable name!" the sniper argued. "It's just as good as a kingdom of meat!"

Genevieve, sensing that this prolonged arguing would be the best chance she could get, quietly sneaked back to her cabin to look for "bait." She quickly looked around and searched her art supplies eagerly. "I know I have to have some leftovers here somewhere..."

With energy the young painter never knew she had, she rummaged through every bit of clothing she packed, which admittedly was not much, but the girl was so used to staying relaxed that it felt like she was searching an entire clothing store.

Finally, she came upon her prize: a small box with a rice cracker logo on the front. The girl's eyes widened and an unnatural grin spread across her face. She closed her eyes and opened up the box, praying to see the entire thing full.

To her dismay, there were only two left in there. Still, they were two more crackers than she had before.

"I have to make this last. Any fish that's caught will be devoured in an instant by 'Straw Hat' and the swordsman. My only hope is kindness on the part of the cook because I'm a girl..." Genevieve sighed, realizing how low on the pecking order she really was.

She was once one of the highest members of a criminal organization. She could relax whenever she wanted and Mr. 3 typically let her do her own thing while he performed his "artistic crimes." It was all too much for Genevieve to do, but even she had to enjoy the benefits of doing such immoral things.

It was almost a shame that Steven broke that perception of reality. Almost.

"Hey, Genevieve! You never came back with our bait!" the familiar voice of Steven called out. "I just know we can catch a big one in the volcano if we just..."

The boy walked into the room just as Genevieve put the snack to her mouth. She started to panic. She was clearly found out.

Steven put his hand over his mouth and pointed to the treat. "You...you...!" the half-Gem coughed and started to open his mouth a few times, as if he were trying to figure out exactly what to say. Finally, he just got on the floor and started to beg. "Can I please just smell the box? Please?!"

'Is he for real? He's really not going to ask for a bite or even ask if there was anything else? Is he a saint or something?' the girl thought as she stared at the boy begging before her. 'Either way...he's helpless.'

She reached into the box and threw it to Steven. "Look, you can have the box if you want, but why don't you eat this instead?"

The boy's eyes eagerly scanned the rice cracker and motioned to accept it before shaking his head. "I can't take it. It's yours."

"Stop being stubborn and eat it," Genevieve picked up her brush. "I'll force you to if you don't!"

Tears started to flow out of Steven's eyes as he finally accepted the treat and he shoved it in his mouth in one giant bite. "Tsh ith shuuuuuuuu ghuuuuhd," he moaned with the food still in his cheeks.

"You never cease to amaze me," Genevieve fought back a small chuckle.

After swallowing the remnants of the food, Steven frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You might literally be the most naive, happiest person I know," she explained, finishing her own snack in the process. "I just do not get it."

"That's just because you're cynical! Give it time! I'll bring you over to the Steven Side eventually!" He looked around at the disheveled mess. "Do you want some help? I'm not as good as Pearl, but I don't mind."

The painter nodded and the two started to fold the thrown about clothes. Taking advantage of the quiet moment, she decided to ask him something she had been thinking about since the other night. "So, your friend Connie..."

"Mmmhmm?" Steven's ears picked up at the sound of her name.

"What are you two anyway?" Genevieve was naturally curious. "Are you two just friends or is there...I don't know...more?"

"'More?' I...I don't get the question," Steven's face turned bright red. "She's my best friend and I...what I mean is..."

"You like her," the girl stated. "You're allowed to like people, you know."

"Ah! How did you know?!"

The girl blinked and shook her head. "You have it written all over your face. The question is, does she know?"

Steven started to fiddle with his fingers in embarrassment. "I mean...we are both really young...and I think we both like each other. We care about each other a lot...enough to fuse and for her to be my jam bud..."

The young painter put her hand on his and squeezed it. "I am the last person to ever talk to about this, but if you want my advice? Hold onto that. No matter what happens in Alabasta, hold onto those feelings. Never stop caring. You might be this crew's musician, but I think you're the Crystal Gems' heart."

Genevieve did not know where this sudden burst of emotion came from, but it was interesting nevertheless. She was fond of Steven, true, but she had connected with him on an emotional level the other night and it stuck with her. Prior to meeting him, the only thing she connected with was her paints and colors as a whole.

It felt nice to be connecting to actual people for once.

The sound of Steven sniffling snapped her back to reality as she realized that any mention of his friends and family was either a really bad idea or exactly what he needed to keep himself grounded. Genevieve didn't know the answer. This whole "emotion" thing was both too new and exhausting for her to think about.

"Steven, you've got to stop crying every time you think about your friends," Genevieve told him as she went to grab him a tissue. However it was too far away for her. The half-Gem, seeing the struggle, inched forward and grabbed it.

"But...but that was so..." he blew his nose. "So thoughtful!"

It was now Genevieve's turn to blush...well blush more than she did naturally. But before she could comment, she heard a giant commotion happening out on the deck. She forced herself to get up and offered a hand to Steven. "Think they caught a fish?"

"I hope so! I could use some real food...not calling rice crackers fake! I..."

"Stop with the apologies!"

The two left the room together and made their way to the deck to see what the fuss was about. Unfortunately, the sight was almost enough to cause Genevieve to throw up her precious cracker.

"Look! A ballerina with swans on him!" Steven laughed. "Come on! New person!"

Steven's description was accurate enough. There was indeed a ballerina on board the ship with swans on his back. However, Steven had neglected to mention that this ballerina was a crossdressing man. A man Genevieve knew too well, as did Petrea and Damian, who she spied trying to hide before he noticed them.

"Steven, you need to be careful," Genevieve warned in a hushed and serious tone.

"What?"

"That man...that man is Mr. 2," she gulped, still staying hidden. "We can't let him know Vivi is still alive."

The boy started to panic and hyperventilate. "Mr. 2! So, he's in Baroque Works and he's going to try to kill us and hurt Vivi's country and..."

Genevieve grabbed the Gem's shoulders tightly. "Listen to me! I think I can get us out of this, but you need to follow my lead. Do you trust me?"

He nodded. "Steven Universe is ready for anything."

She started to walk out but stopped. "I don't think we need Steven Universe for this. I think we need...Tiger Millionaire."

His eyes grew wide. "You remembered!"

"You created a cover story. I'm a painter. I like consistency," she shrugged. "Are you up to it?"

He closed his eyes for a moment and thought about it. "I need hair gel and for you to paint my face."

The girl just blinked, shrugged, and made up her mind to not even question his request. 'The hell with it. I believe in Steven.'

*AGITR*

Damian typically did everything he could to keep calm and act manly. Unfortunately, that meant grabbing Petrea and hiding out of sight the second Mr. 2 was pulled up on Usopp's fishing pole. There was a time and a place to keep up his (in his own personal opinion) badass attitude, but this was not one of them. He knew as well as anyone that Mr. 2 (despite his ridiculous appearance) was not a force to be reckoned with.

He could see the same look in his former partner's eyes. This woman was formerly a hardened killer, but Damian knew that even without her change of outlook on life that she would be scared of the crossdressing ballerina. Outside of Mr. 1 and Crocodile himself, Mr. 2 was the strongest person in all of Baroque Works. However, that wasn't even what worried Damian. The problem was that he ate the Clone-Clone Fruit, which gave him the ability to copy other people's faces.

It also granted him a photogenic memory of every face he ever laid eyes on. This included his own, Petrea's and Genevieve's.

Thankfully, the young girl was out of sight...somewhere. The kid went to look for her, but it had been a while since they left. If it were any other group of people, Damian would have gotten suspicious of what they were doing, but Steven was both too young and innocent to be doing something stupid. Genevieve...well, Damian thought she was too lazy to do anything sneaky either, but she did technically rank higher than him in Baroque Works.

The only other person not in plain sight was that asshole cook, who had gone to the kitchen to look high and low for anything that he could prepare for a meal. He was that desperate to feed...well, feed the girls. Damian wasn't sure exactly how he felt about Sanji, but even if he did like him, he still thought he was an asshole.

"Thank you all for saving me! I never would have dreamed that people I have never met would go out of their way to save an okama like me!" Mr. 2 was saying while bowing to the Straw Hat crew. "You have my many, many thanks!"

"No problem, weird-guy!" Luffy laughed. "Um...you have stuff coming off of your eyes..."

"Ahh!" Mr. 2 jumped up and tried to adjust his face a bit. "My mascara! It is ruined! Do any of you ladies have any that you can spare?"

"No!" Nami and Vivi told him at once.

The okama sighed theatrically. "Well, what can I say? I tried. I have to say, I thought I was going to die for sure out there. Thank goodness for the kindness of strangers!"

"Wait, you were drowning? Does that mean you ate a Devil Fruit?" Usopp asked with interest.

"Correct, my funny-looking friend! I happened to have eaten..." Mr. 2 started before he was cut off.

"Mr. 2 here ate the Clone-Clone Fruit," the voice of Genevieve called out. "He can change his body and face to that of anyone who he touches."

"What is she doing?!" Petrea whispered fearfully. "Is she trying to get us killed?!"

Damian bit his lip, trying not to show the woman just how afraid he actually was. "Let's see how this plays out."

"What?! That's Mr. 2?!" the Straw Hats yelled. Zoro pulled out his swords in defense and Vivi opened her mouth in horror. Luffy, ever one for a fight, started to crack his knuckles.

"What's with all the sudden tension?!" Mr. 2 asked in shock. "And how do you know my name?! Who said that?!"

"I did," Genevieve walked out into plain view. She was followed by...'what in the nine layers of hell is he doing?!' Damian asked himself in complete and utter disbelief.

Steven had slicked his hair back to a ridiculous level and had come across a tie that Damian was sure belonged to him. On his face was a black painted nose, orange cheeks, and what appeared to be whiskers. He looked to Petrea whose body language revealed that she was alternating between an anxiety attack and a laughing fit.

"Painter-chan?!" Mr. 2 jumped back. "What are you doing on a pirate ship?!"

"Gene..." Luffy started to ask before Steven got into his face and pushed him aside.

"You don't talk to Miss Goldenweek, Millions," he folded his arms and winked. "She talks to you."

"'Millions?' Oh! You commandeered a pirate ship? Does that mean Waxy is here too?!" Mr. 2 started to twirl around. Then he realized that there was a boy with paint on his face and he stared at him intently. "And who is this lovely creature?"

"That's Tiger Millionaire, a bounty hunter from the Outer Rim," Genevieve said flatly. "Mr. 3 and I met up with the 'Mr. 5 Pair,' attacked and killed the Straw Hat pirates for the boss, and stole their ship. Unfortunately, Mr. 3 was killed by some giants he was trying to claim the bounty on. Tiger Millionaire here owed me a favor, so he helped me contact some Millions to help get us back to Alabasta for 'Operation: Utopia.'"

The Straw Hats looked utterly confused until Vivi, who seemed to have realized exactly what Genevieve was doing, got up and bowed to Mr. 2. "Oh, we are so sorry we didn't recognize you, Mr. 2! You know how secretive us Millions can be! I can easily go and get you some of my personal mascara! Please forgive me!"

The crossdresser blew the princess a kiss. "For you, sexy? I'd forgive you in a second! I'd also like a cup of soup if you can spare it!"

Vivi bowed again as she backed up towards her room. "I'll go check the kitchen, sir...er madam...but we have been out of food for nearly a day! Do you care, Miss Goldenweek, if I assist?"

"Mr. 2 is higher-up than me," Genevieve told her. "Make him feel at home. If you see Mr. 5 or Miss Valentine, send them here on my orders."

Vivi nodded and motioned for the Straw Hats to follow her so she could explain what was going on. Damian was impressed at the audacity of what Genevieve was trying to do. From what she explained, Crocodile thought the Straw Hats were dead and the two pairs of Agents were on their way back to Alabasta. It was conceivable that they stole the Going Merry to make the trip more luxurious and for Millions to make contact with them along the way.

Honestly, he was amazed the girl even thought of it. It still didn't explain Steven's stupid getup, but now was not the time to think about that. Damian nudged Petrea and motioned to Mr. 2. "We need to make an appearance if we are to get out of this."

"What if this is a trap by Crocodile?!" Petrea asked worried.

"Then the Straw Hats will get involved and we will kick that okama's ass all the way back to Whiskey Peak," he adjusted his sunglasses. "Let's go...and don't show any weakness."

As he strode out to greet his former comrade, the former Mr. 5 found himself to be a force to be reckoned with. He was bravery personified and nothing could stand him down. Petrea seemed to be nervous, but he knew that if he did all of the talking, he could get them through this.

"Oh! Sunglasses! Blondie! You're here too!" Mr. 2 clapped excitedly.

"Mr. 2!" Damian whispered in a weak, scared voice. "Don't hurt us!"

"Way to stay confident, you idiot!" Petrea whispered out of the side of her mouth as she stepped on his foot.

"'Hurt you?'" he laughed. "QUIT JOOOOOOKING AROUND!"

"You must be really tough to be Mr. 2," 'Tiger Millionaire' told him, in a false, tough-guy voice. "I'm not easily impressed. Where's your partner?"

Genevieve whispered something to him, causing his eyes to widen and to drop his own act for a moment. "What?! You get to be your own partner! That's so cool!"

"I like you, Tiger-Boy! Where are you off to in Alabasta?" Mr. 2 pried. "Off to find any hotties out there that you'd like to meet?"

"Nah," 'Tiger Millionaire' shook his head. "When I bring these clowns to their destination, I'll be off. I have to do the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs or my reputation is ruined! That blasted Purple Puma will not stop me this time!"

"Such conviction!" Mr. 2 was moved. "Such dedication to his craft! You are truly a force to be reckoned with! If there is anything I can do to assist you in your quest to defeat this 'Purple Puma,' just speak the word!"

"Actually," Genevieve interjected. "Maybe you can help us. In the fight with the giants, we lost our Den Den Mushi to contact the boss. Where are we meeting again?"

Mr. 2 jumped in the air and struck a pose. "Oh, you silly girl! I weep for your loss! Waxy was a brave, brave man to face the giants alone!"

"He was an idiot," Genevieve explained.

"Then good riddance to him!" he laughed. "The rest of the Officer Agents are meeting up at Spiders Cafe in three days' time at eight o'clock in the evening exactly. Even the 'Mr. 1 Pair' will show themselves! Be there or be squaaaaaaaare!"

As he was dancing around, Damian noticed that the Straw Hats returned. There was no doubt Vivi explained exactly what "Millions" were and why Genevieve called them that. It was clear that at least Zoro and Usopp were incredibly wary, but Luffy put on a happy face.

"Sorry, Mr. 2! We are all out of soup! Please don't take it out on us Billions!" he grinned.

"Millions!" Nami elbowed him.

"Millions!" Luffy corrected himself. "That's what we are! We are definitely Millions in Baroque Works!"

"Hmmm..." Mr. 2 frowned. "You claim to have taken this ship from the Straw Hat pirates, but you are wearing a straw hat yourself. Why would that be, hmmmmmm?"

Usopp and Chopper gasped. Damian held his breath as well, fearing that the facade would be broken. However, Luffy merely smiled and put his hands on his hips. "It's very fashionable! Don't you think?"

Mr. 2's eyes lit up like a supernova. "I agree wholeheartedly! You go, girl!" The two men did a jump high five while the others wiped the sweat from their brows.

"Such loyalty to the organization! I am touched! Truly I am! For your entertainment, I will put on a show that is sure to get you all riled up for the days ahead!" Mr. 2 announced. With that, he started to change his face to a number of odd, quirky-looking people. However, Damian noted that one of them drained the color off of Vivi's face. He made a mental note to ask her about that once the okama left.

After the performance, Mr. 2 began to dance around with Luffy and 'Tiger Millionaire.' However, the revelry ceased when a ship shaped like a swan appeared on the horizon. Mr. 2's expression brightened even more so than what it was. "What's this?! The Swanda! My ship!"

"We never would have guessed," the Straw Hats sarcastically said at the same time.

"But do not look sad, my lovelies! We will all meet again in Alabasta, not merely as fellow Agents and Millions, but as true comrades and companions! Friendship..." Mr. 2 began to wipe the tears from his eyes as he gave them all a thumbs-up. "WILL NEVER DIE!"

With that, he jumped back to his own ship, waving them off as they sped toward the desert kingdom of Alabasta. The second the ship was out of sight, Nami grabbed Genevieve by her shirt. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"Saving your skins," she pointed out. "It was a long shot, but it worked out."

"She's right," Zoro grunted. "If Mr. 2 is as high-up as he says he is, that means we won't be attacked by any other Baroque Works vessels that might be waiting in Alabasta. They will know to ignore our flag."

"Plus it keeps up with the story that we are dead," Usopp added. "This doesn't even begin to cover the fact that we now know where all of the Officer Agents are meeting up. This is an opportunity we cannot afford to pass up."

"If we can pass this information to the king, we might get the proof we need to stop Crocodile early on!" Steven chimed in.

The crew, save Vivi (who was still shell-shocked), all stared at Steven and finally asked the question that was on their minds. "Okay, what the hell is with this makeup?" Zoro asked. "You look like an idiot!"

"Hey! This is my cunning and clever disguise! I'm Tiger Millionaire: former wrestler and current bounty hunter!" Steven protested.

"That's the name you used when you talked to Crocodile in Little Garden," Sanji, who had rejoined the crew right as Mr. 2 was leaving, pointed out. "Holy shit, you two actually created a cohesive and believable alibi! That's…that's impressive!"

"Well, yeah! We ARE awesome! Right, Genevieve?" Steven went to give her a high five. She nodded and returned it.

"I can dig it."

"Word."

"It still doesn't explain the face paint," Petrea giggled. "Or your ridiculous hair!"

"Or MY tie!" Damian growled. "Add that to the list of clothes you still owe me!"

The only one who was in awe of Steven's makeup was Chopper. "STEVEN, YOU LOOK SO COOL!"

Steven blushed. "I know, right? I haven't dressed like this in months!"

"...you've dressed like this before?" Zoro asked. "Your dimension is just weird."

"I'm learning to just accept it at this point," Nami sighed. Then she noticed that Vivi was acting weird. "Vivi? What's wrong?"

"One of the faces..." Vivi started to panic and break out into a sweat. "One of the faces Mr. 2 changed into was...was my father's!"

"WHAT?!" the Straw Hats all yelled at once.

"That means Mr. 2 has, at one point, been in contact with my father...oh god, what if they've hurt him?!" the young princess started to cry. "With Crocodile being seen as a hero to the people and my father being vilified by the rebels, I don't know what to do!"

Stretching his legs and arms, Luffy pounded his fist to his hand. "I do. We kick Crocodile's ass!"

"First things first, we need a plan. We can't just go in and attack everyone at once!" Nami explained.

"Good point," the captain nodded. "Here's the plan: kick Crocodile's ass!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT!" Nami hit him on the head. "We know where we need to be in three days. We just need to figure out how to get there, what to do when we get there, and what to do if that fails."

The group fell silent as they began to put together all of the pieces of the Baroque Works puzzle. Nami wrote out all of the information they knew on a piece of paper and for several minutes they thought about it individually (save Luffy, who just threw some punches around).

Finally, one person found their voice. "I have a plan!" Steven announced. "It is complicated, but I know it will work!"

The Straw Hats waited and let the Gem take the floor. "Alright, Steven," Nami said. "We are all ears. What have you got?"