FAKE LOVE

Blood running through Jin's ears to his cheek. The pain started heating his earlobe. He still laid on the floor, struggle to get up. The other member shocked looking at Jin stumbled down with blood under his ears. Everyone in the room became freeze. Only Yoongi came closer to Jin, helping him to get up. Jin glared at Bang Shi Hyuk. How can Bang Shi Hyuk slap him this hard?

"Keep your mouth shut! Don't you dare to say anything to anyone! The rest too, please stop doing nonsense. I won't let any of you bring everyone down. Listen to me! Otherwise, I have to become selfish for the sake of protecting those who allowed me to protect them" said Bang Shi Hyuk.

"Why are you being so selfish?! I thought you are different than any leader from other than companies. But I guess you are just the same. You don't even care if I'm suffering inside! I'm sick of it!" Jin barked at Bang Shi Hyuk.

"Are you talking back to me? Don't act weak, Jin-iya! You are the one who is selfish right now. You don't even care what will be the impact of things that you are planning to do to other members and people who have worked with you up until this far. Do you even love your BTS members? You only think of the freedom in your heart. Your own ease. What makes you think people will support you? Do you think people will understand your situation and your explanation? They won't care the truth behind it! They will use it against you! One by one will leave you and torture you and your family. How are going to continue living then?" Bang Shi Hyuk continued.

Jin became quiet. He knew there is an uncertainty future resulted from his decision. But he cannot endure this pressure anymore. It is too tough to act like he is fine when he is not okay. It is more hurtful to see his BTS brothers pretend to be happy when they are sad. Not only for him, but this is also for the sake of BTS members too! Jin loves them! But they keep pretending to be strong when they are hurt. Everyone put a mask on their face. In front of fans, in front of the media, even in front of each other. They don't have to do that in front of us. But why they become like that? Aren't we a family? Where has that love gone?

Jin softly looked at his BTS members. Yoongi held his arm next to him. Namjoon and Hoseok stand next to each other behind Bang Shi Hyuk. Next to Bang PD, there is Sejin hyung. Taehyung sat in between bruised Jimin and Jungkook. He looked at Jimin. Jimin with teary eyes and bruise on his arm. He looked at his golden maknae, bleeding on his teeth. Probably because of the fight that they had just now.

He thought London and Paris concerts can reunite them. Everything seems to get a little bit better. Even with the fake happiness they showed, it did help to recover a bit of their broken relationship. But another fight between Jimin and Jungkook, just after they landed Korea, opened the wound they just closed 2 weeks ago. He can't let BTS members fight again. The hurt, the pain they have, the lingering feeling is not truly faded. Small issues here and there, now has accumulated. And they stupidly fight with each other.

Jin stared at the floor. He feels empty. Bang Shihyuk came closer to Jin. He tapped Jin's shoulder slowly, "Just think over it again. Okay? I'm sorry for slapping you. Sometimes you need to continue mold a pretty lie for the sake of people you love". Jin eyes filled with tears after hearing it. He closed his eyes slowly. Tears rolled down his cheek. Bang Shi Hyuk left the room with Sejin. Jin scratched his head hard. His hair becomes messy.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other. They are still in raging mad to each other. But their main concern now is Jin's issue. Both Jimin and Jungkook may physically hurt now, but they never knew Jin holds so much pain in his heart. Jin sits next to Yoongi at the sofa.

Taehyung slowly pulled Jungkook's head towards him. Jungkook glanced at him.

"Open your mouth," Taehyung told Jungkook. Jungkook opened his mouth. Taehyung hissed.

"Aish...your gum is still bleeding, Jungkook-a. Don't you feel the pain?" asked Taehyung. Jungkook did not respond. He doesn't feel the pain but tired with the whole drama. He doesn't know why these days he cannot control his emotion, his irritating expression, he becomes easily mad although he can understand well why his hyung act this and that way.

Jimin spacing out. He got extremely stress with this issue. Hoseok came too Jimin. He holds Jimin's hand. Looked carefully at the bruise on Jimin's arm. It's pretty bad. Quite big. Thank God it is not bleeding. Hoseok sighed hard.

Hoseok turned his head to Jin and asked, "I never thought you are this stress, hyung. Are you that insecure? Why are you letting yourself hurting this much? You should share your feelings with us". He is a bit mad with Jin, but he is more worried about Jin. Jin might look all fine and happy, but when he really stress about something, he tends to conceal his heartbreak and sadness, and when he flares up, everyone will know it.

Jin sighed. He started opened up his feelings slowly, "I cannot hold anymore. I don't want you guys to be affected because of me. I don't want to drag any of you into my problem. It's hurt to see you guys keep fighting. One keeps fighting, another one keeps cleaning the mess, the other one keeps stressing out because of the problem. We are no longer comfortable with each other. So at least, for one last time, I want to be a good man for you".

Everyone looked at Jin. His voice becomes a bit shaky. Waiting for him to continue his words. Jin holds his breath before he continued, "That's why I wanted to reveal this problem to the public before the issue becomes huge. I know this sound stupid. But what's the point continue living this way? Living insecure every day, looking at you guys fighting because of me, looking at how much people work hard to investigate this problem, looking at those clueless lovely faces that trust me from the stage but I betrayed them, it's killing me. I'm such a disappointment. I feel like in the hell when rumours started coming out one by one. That's why I insist to quit this job before i kill myself. I really worked hard to endure, but I'm so sick of this. I'm so sorry. But it's already 2 months but we still cannot catch the culprit. What's left now?".

Namjoon interrupted, "Hyung, is it because of the question that a reporter asked at the airport just now? It's pretty obvious you are taken aback with the question," Namjoon asked. Everyone in the room agreed they didn't feel comfortable with the question. They finally returned home after a long journey. They thought of returning home with funny BTS airport fashion will create a smile on ARMY's faces. But they never expect one of the reporters suddenly welcome them by asking their opinion about drugs issue in Korea when they are at overseas, while they are walking headed outside the airport. None of BTS members responded to it. All of them just waving to fans and pretend didn't hear the question. But the reporter's eyes sent a meaning. A lie that they shouldn't do.

Jin nodded. He rubbed his face and looked down. He can't deny he was shocked by the questions. He admitted to it.

"Ever since the drug issue of other companies become huge, every time I read those articles about other celebrities, it makes me feel too insecure. As if I am the one who took drugs and raped women. I can't deny that drugs related issue makes me feel sick. So many of our fellow celebrities did that. People won't be shocked if they found out BTS also involved in drugs issue, just by looking at how much pressure of our workload. I didn't do it, but I feel like I am in that position. A position that makes me consider myself as one of the celebrities who use the drugs. Every time I saw the news article about drugs, I keep asking myself is it me? Are they talking about me? When I read how they reacted to the issue, it was scary to the extent I really want to take drugs to endure this. Do you see how people condemning them? What they talked about them?" Jin expressed his thought to his members.

All members become quiet. Yoongi grabbed a box of tissue next to him. He touched Jin's face, wipe the bleeding under his ears. He pities his brother. The only BTS member that he can call Hyung.

Yoongi tried to console him, "Hyung. I don't know that you think like this. You are really feel unfamiliar to me now. I know who you are, but why you changed into someone like this? It's sad to see you become like this".

Jin responded, "Why you sad? I don't know why I become like this. All I want now is for you guys to smile and say 'I love you' before I leave. Look at me, even I gave up on myself. That's why you can't understand me".

Taehyung looked at both Jimin and Jungkook. Both of them spacing out. He saw the blood still on Jungkook's lip. He takes a tissue and wiped the blood for Jungkook.

Namjoon tried to change Jin mind, "Hyung, don't you love us? Please do not make a rush decision. We can go through this together".

Jin shakes his head, "You guys just do not understand. I love you guys so bad. That is why up until now I mold a pretty lie for you, ARMY, Big Hit and myself. Love, it's so mad. I try to erase myself and make myself a doll for people". Jin smirked at himself.

Jungkook suddenly voiced out, "If you left, I'm going to leave this group too. What's the point of continuing this path without people that I love. I'm not going to stay with people who don't like me either". He glanced at Jimin and rolled his eyes.

Yoongi saw that expression scolded, "Ya...Jungkook-a. Don't be like this. At this time, we should stay united. Both Jimin and you shouldn't get into a fight anymore. How many times both of you want to fight? I know you want to protect BTS, but you shouldn't have a doubt to other members. Be careful with your words. Are you still going on puberty? We never grew you to be rude. Use your body to protect us, not against us".

Hoseok added, "Yoongi hyung is right. Jimin-a, this applies to you too. Please control your emotion. Sometimes, your body language is too sharp. As sharp as your words. You can control your anger when you mad". Jimin still quiet. He doesn't want to react.

Jungkook looked at all his hyung. He wiped the remaining blood on his lips. It keeps coming out from the end of his lips.

Jungkook reacted, "Jin hyung, just now you told Bang PD that you want to retire and expose the truth, right? You want to quit everything, right? You make things harder now. Just because of this stupid problem that you are not even wrong. Now you should choose either to leave or stay. I seriously will leave this group and quit all this crap if you still insist to leave BTS and Big Hit. You are responsible to it".

Jimin suddenly madly responded to Jungkook, "Ya, Jeon Jungkook! Why are you trying to threaten Jin hyung? Do you even listen to what Yoongi hyung just said?"

Jungkook irritatedly answered, "I came from Busan to Seoul and sacrifice my teen because of our dreams. If Jin hyung decided to leave, I will leave right after BTS 5th Muster. No, I'll just stay at Busan after that. I guess I am meant to show my last performance in Busan. You guys can go back to Seoul after that".

Jin tiredly said, "Jungkook-a...please".

Jungkook added, "No, I also can be stubborn. Because I don't know who I am now. This problem makes me crazily headache. I've changed. I am now no longer your Golden Maknae, Jeon Jungkook. What's the point of this money and fame? From these past few months, I feel distant with everyone. The forest just for us, but you weren't there. The route I took to be at this far, I forgot already. I even became quite unsure of who I was. I babbling into the mirror, who the hell are you?"

Jungkook is right. Not only Jungkook, but other members has changed too. Some of them only closed to certain members. Some prefer to be alone. Everyone in the group become quiet. Everyone lost in their thought or a while. Everyone thinking hard on this problem. The room become silent for a few minutes.

The silence in the room broke when Jin suddenly said, "Jungkook-a, you should protect the other hyungs after I left this group. Listen to them. I don't mind to leave this group, because I love you guys so much. I want to leave without giving much ruin on BTS reputation. If I leave the group without exposing the truth, you guys will not receive much hate, right? You guys can stop fighting about me anymore. There won't be any trouble after I leave. Dont worry, i will cherish our memories and will support you. You guys are the best gift in my life".

Everyone shocked with Jin's words. Seems like Jin really decided to leave the group. Namjoon rubbed his face with both of his hand. He goes to the window and stared outside the room. Hoseok put his palm to his lips, covered his mouth. He stared at the floor. Yoongi is still in shocking, unable to move a single muscle on his body. He becomes frozen next to Jin.

Tears coming out from Jimin's eyes. Is it really the end? It is because of him and his fight forced Jin hyung to this extent. He can't believe Jin will leave BTS.

Taehyung cried. He doesn't want Jin to leave BTS. He tried to stop him, "Hyung...For you, I can pretend like I'm happy when I'm sad. For you, I can pretend like I'm strong when I'm hurt. Don't leave, please".

Jin looked at crying Taehyung, "I'm sorry, Taehyung-a. I love you". Taehyung can't stop crying. Jimin pulled Taehyung and put Taehyung's head on his shoulders. He stroked his hair. This is too stressful for everyone.

Tears rolling on Jungkook cheek. His eyes become red. He feels the pain burning on his chest listening to Jin's final decision. His heart is broken into pieces. He can't accept Jin's decision. He sarcastically said to Jin, "Love? It's all fake love."

Jin feels empty inside. He is too depressed to the extent he unable to laugh or cry to this situation. He becomes emotionless. He said, "I wish love was perfect as love itself. I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden. I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true".

The room becomes really silence. The silence is too loud. Everyone started worrying about BTS future. They lost in their thought. No one even realised Sejin came into the room. Sejin came into the room with a smile on his face, shocked looking at all 7 members of BTS. What's going on here? Is it the right time for him to tell them the good news that he just received?