The Bobbing Swordsman’s Perspective

There was always noise in the Red Tryst Vine Village even if it was day or night. Fully grown adults were always gossiping in bars while women were always flapping their lips like swords at Inns. What exactly separated these two kinds of idiots, I wonder?

Sorry, I'm just not in a good mood because of my hangover. If only my headache could lessen a little...

"Bob, it's time for the hunt!"

"Coming...! Coming! Don't shout, you rascal!" A roar left my lips as I threw whatever was next to me.

When I realised what hit the face of the younger member who came to wake me up at the window, I was embarrassed to the point I felt like a chicken rib was stuck in my throat... Damn it, my pants!

"I'm burning this now!" The teenage girl outside my window had a dark face as she looked into my eyes.

One hand held my pants while the other hand was holding a bright flame. She seemed really serious!

"Sorry, forgive me my goddess! You are beautiful, kind, and merciful... so please forgive my pant for its transgressions against your holiness." I spout out anything that even remotely sounded like praising.

Please, don't burn my pant! They're the durable and expensive kind that only have a limited stock!

"...You saved your pants, but next time you pull this nonsense, I'm burning holes in its centre!" She spoke before throwing the pant back threw the window and onto my own face as a last form of revenge... I'm glad she's the type who enjoys hearing this kind of cringe-inducing praise. If not, it would be hard walking around with my rear exposed for all to see.

I decided to ignore the feelings of discomfort from my hangover today in response to how I recently dodged a bullet and looked at the sky. Ah, what a good weather it is today. The best day for a hunt!

In the Party I was a member of, you could say that I had an essential role of... being a swift and agile bait!

No, I wasn't being taken advantage of. The only way for a Adventurer Party to properly function was for five members of different Affinities to do what they were responsible for. In my case. as the only one with a Wind Affinity, my job was to attract attention so the whole party wouldn't be swarmed. The bright colours on my clothes showed the resolve I had.

Although I wasn't a heavy hitter like those who had a Fire Affinity, my contributions were the highest in the team all the time. It was to the point that I had become the Party Leader of my own group.

This is not to say that there aren't any other Party Configurations... It's just the most suitable one considering we don't have the skill or talent necessary for more intricate battle tactics.

This was normal considering we were just some no name Adventurers without any fame to our name...

When I finally got myself out of my old parent's home and got to the meeting place, I was greeted by the four other members of my time who seemed to be literally 'burning' with enthusiasm. The two Fire Affinity siblings (one of them being the person who almost burnt my pant) were the main attacker, with one Earth Swordsman in defence and one Water Mage in healing. This was all we were capable of.

If there was at least another Wind User or even a rare Lightning User instead of Yena's brother called Jeremy, then things would be perfect...! I wouldn't have to deal with an arrogant idiot who still has to be babied by his older sister... The slimy piece of-

No, swearing isn't allowed anymore. Apparently, I have a daughter now. I can't teach her bad things.

"You ready to burn yourself again?" I provoked the idiot who who made a mess of our tactics last time.

"I..." He wanted to argue but got glared down by everyone else. Their anger made him shut up a bit.

"Jeremy, you made Bob's efforts meaningless the last time we went out. You might be a new member but your carelessness almost diverted the attention of the Beasts to Freya... That I cannot forgive!" My big bro, Gordon, spoke in a stern tone of voice.

Bro! You tell this little firecracker! Just because Fire Mages are also called 'Bombers' doesn't mean he can steal my job...! Who said that it was a good idea to practically provoke them into aiming for Mages?

Freya isn't even a strong fighter. The only reason she's on the team is because we'd need a Healer in case I or anyone else was injured. Her role is quite dangerous and relies heavily on my baiting strategy.

This is also why, not even fifteen minutes later, I decided to stay behind just so the rest of these jackasses could escape. Don't misunderstand the circumstances though. I was the one to ordered a retreat in the first place after we were surrounded.

Why was I still pissed?

Well, our last 'conversation' was like this:

"Run, just leave me behind...!"

""""Okay!"""" The rest replied in unison before disappearing into the forest. What jackasses!

I know I'm strong and all, but can't they at least pretend to be worried about me? The only thing I could do to vent my frustrations was slaughter these Monsters who seemed to be appearing more often.

I fought, and fought, and fought, all until I came across a weak girl stranded in the forest as I was trying to get back to the village. She was a strange girl with a tomboyish personality, though I can't say I hated it since I was the misogynistic type.

I hate women with a capital H!

I know I have a kid and all but that's due to some complicated circumstances. In fact, I frickin' hate women BECAUSE of those very complicated circumstances. They are being of pure evil!

Except my daughter though, she's fine. In fact. She is the most angelic entity in the entire world! I love her so much. Her mom though... isn't really someone I trusted anymore. Wait, let's get back on topic:

"Let me get this straight. You came alone to the Dark Forest because no one would Party with a Dark Specialist but ended so being hit by a high-level curse as you were hunting. Now you have been transported far from your family and homeland."

"Exactly." The girl nodded heavily.

Hmmm, I could be considered the best at seeing through lies but even I can't find any signs of falsehood on her face. She must be telling the truth then, but even if that's the case, what am I supposed to do with her? Should I just take her to the Guild?

"Hey, since you saved me: Be sure to be responsible and let me hang out at your house. I'm broke as a beggar right now." The teenage girl I was holding up and acting like a walking stick suddenly spoke.

Should I just leave her here...?

"...Why would I do that?" I looked at her with narrowed eyes that clearly asked what I had spoken.

I live with my Mom and never moved out not because I have no money to buy a house but because she has back aches sometimes. What would happen if I brought home a random objectively cute girl?

I still get lectured about the reason I'm not marrying my daughter's mother, there's no reason to suddenly make my circumstances more complex by bringing home some unknown girl from who know where.

"Because I'm a cute girl." She responded with such confidence that I made a blank face for a good second. Although she definitely WAS cute, I have never met someone who'd think it was fine to bother their saviour for such a nonsensical reason.

I should just drop her here, shouldn't I?

"That means nothing to me." I spoke with even greater confidence, causing her to look at me in shock. She shifted her head from her chest to my face as if her brain couldn't comprehend why I would refuse. Then a light bulb appeared...

"Really...? Could it be that you are-" The cheeky implications seemed to mean more than having wood that could not densify. Could it be she's implying... Oh, what in the flying Dragons-!

"Hell no!" What the heck was she thinking?!

"You don't have to be shy. I won't just you... as long as you stay away from me." She hid her bountiful chest with her arms, looking like I might assault her despite how that wouldn't even make sense.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" I get that a guy would be disgusted, yet why does a girl like her seem uncomfortable? This seems a bit suspicious. Could it be I'm walking with one of those androgynous guys?

Wait- No, she definitely has boobs. I'm not leering or anything, just pointing out that... she is kinda soft.

"Forget it. I'm taking you to the Guild. I'm never taking in a useless girl who can't even fight Beasts under my wing ever again!" The really dark memories of that 'childhood friend' of mine that lives next to me arose in my head at this moment.

"Who said that I'm useless?" She made a frown- No, a pouty face that seems to contain a great anger.

"Prove it if you're not." I rolled my eyes.

"I can give a semi-permanent Buff to others." She said these words in an emotionless tone different from before. It was as if I stepped on a land-mine and the reason she was saying this was as a retort.

"...That sounds a little interesting. What are the conditions?" I lifted my brow and showed my teeth as I smiled. Woah woah woah, this is the first time I've heard of a Buff that could be 'semi-permanent'.

Doesn't that mean that I'll have even while I eat or sleep? I wonder how strong it is, what are its best points, and how I benefit from having it on all the time. One thing is for sure though, there is a high chance even a weak Buff can improve my 'Rank'.

With an improved Rank on my own Adventurer's License, I could join better teams and get treated better when doing Job Requests. Who would shy away from such an opportunity in front of them?

"I won't ask you to completely take care of me. All I need is a place to stay, then I'll pay rent. The Buff I can give will stay as long as I'm willing. Distance from me and other factors won't matter." She said with a responsible tone that differed from her image.

Now this girl is speaking my language! Though it makes me wonder why she previously had such a fake but energetic tone... I should probably stop my curiosity right there since I didn't want to know her more than I already do. My misogyny still exists...

"That is... really powerful! Why is it you were stranded again?" I asked in a disbelieving tone at how ridiculous this was. No matter how weak a Buff might be, just the fact that it will effect someone without needing the caster to be there was unique.

As for her story about a curse and whatnot, I didn't believe it one bit. She was just giving lip service.

If she didn't want to say anything, I won't pry too deep unless it affects me. However, I'm starting to feel her background mustn't be simple if she is a Dark Mage. After all, the Spell Circles and book knowledge needed to be a 'Mage' was expensive...!

"Well, although Ninjas are fine. Most people are still quite vigilant of Dark Mages and the like. It's not like there are many people who would trust me enough to Buff them without strings attached." This, though coming from her mouth, DID sound plausible considering how people still had suspicions due to the nature of Dark Magic. Its sinister nature made it so there was a bias opinion that most of a Dark Affinity never had good intentions towards others.

It's similar to how Nobility always arrogantly boasted of their virtues from being able to produce Light Specialists from time to time. Perhaps there was some nonsensical politics behind the scenes...

"That does sound pretty annoying." I gave her a pitying look. For such a good Buff to go unnoticed...

The discrimination is too deep, isn't it? Though I can't say I myself didn't have any biases towards her... in other aspects than her Affinity. I guess it's only human nature for gossip to turn into baseless suspicion. Better to be safe from harm than sorry.

"Dude, you know my difficulties now, don't you?"

"Understood, Dudett." I guess I'll agree with this trade. It's not like I'll lose anything from it.

I hope I don't regret my decision...