XX - What Jealousy feels Like

Suzuki Kazuya's POV

After Yuki left, I finished my meal and clean up immediately and saw that he left the key of his office in the table and so I decided to follow him in the clinic to give it to him.

When I arrived there, I was confused that the clinic is still closed and I thought he went somewhere first so I waited for him but he didn't arrived. I worried that he came back to his place to search for his keys so I came back but there was no trace of him coming back. I decided to call him but he didn't answer and realized that he also left his phone inside his room.

I waited for him in the building lobby for almost an hour until I decided to give up and just put back the key to where he left it. When I am just about to leave the building, I accidentally spotted Yuki getting off the car. I sneaked in closer to see who is in the car with him when I heard them talking.

"Thanks for taking me home Shinjiro."

I heard that name before, If I remember it correctly that is the same guy that night when Yuki got drunk.

I stepped back to the entrance and waited for him.

"You came back early, Yuki." I speak as soon as he passed by when I noticed that he didn't even see me.

He looks surprised when he saw me and I can see that he is trying to hide something behind his back.

I feel irritated of his actions being so suspicious and so I started interrogating him. "You told me that you have an appointment with a patient in your clinic but I think you didn't actually went there."

"Ahhhh about that, the kid cannot go out so I have to personally go to his house." He avoided my gaze while talking.

"And that kid, is his name Shinjiro?" I continued pressuring him.

His eyes widened with shock and when he tried to speak, his voice is trembling. "I think you are misunderstanding something. It is not like what you are thinking."

"What do you mean? I am not saying anything, I'm just asking the name of the kid and now you are making an excuse. Are you guilty of something?" The more we continue our conversation, the more I lose my temper.

"Let's talk inside." He hold my hand trying to take me in his place but I don't want to talk with him any longer right now and so I take his hand away but it turned into a slap.

"Let go. I'm not in the mood to hear your unprepared excuse." I panicked about slapping his hand and hurting him and so I accidentally blurted out something more hurtful and so I ran away.

I am scared to even look back because I feared that I will see his pained expression.

I never thought that I am the type of person to get jelous easily. Maybe it is because of my last relationship was ruined because of they cheated on me.

I know that Naoyuki-san is an honest person who will never cheat and besides he told me that he was not gay or even a bisexual in the first place so I don't have to think about him being in a relationship with that guy named Shinjiro but I cannot stop myself from feeling jealous especially when I feel that he is hiding something from me.

That thing he was trying to hide from me a while a go, was it a gift from that guy? Is that guy trying to flirt with Yuki knowing that he is now capable of dating a guy? What if they eventually hook up and Yuki decided to dump me because he prefers someone closer to his age?

Doubt. Jealousy. Insecurities. Possessiveness. Pain.

I can feel it all at the same time just trying to imagine Yuki being in a relationship with someone else. Maybe leaving without letting him explain is a wrong move for me.

I twist and turn the whole night trying to think of how to fix our first fight as a couple. Maybe I should go straight to his place as soon as he wake up tomorrow morning.