When is the right time? I thought about our conversation earlier. Is this really love I'm feeling? Or am i too attached because we are always together? Well more like living together. Sometimes I'm too conflicted inside that I don't what is going through with my mind. Sometimes I want to be away from him but its like I'm glued to him. I don't know of I could do everything on my own but I don't know if I could do it without him.
Thoughts came flooding through my mind as I found myself staring on this guy that's k0 to pull an all nighter. We were sitting on one of the vacant two person wooden swing outside of our room and admiring the night sky. The resorts lamp were all lighted up and even the pool are having different colors right know. There are still guests who were doing their night swim. Some were even jamming acoustically with their guitars.
I don't think he's going to swim. He was sitting there comfortably while observing what's happening around us and occassionally laughing at those teens who were teasing each other. I smelles my coffee. I guess coffee nights is one form of our bonding sessions.
"Are you enjoying?" he broke the silence.
"Yeah..." I took another sip.
"Were you crying?" he took another sip. Did I cried too much? I looked at my feet on the ground and played with my cup of coffee.
"I know you've been bothered this morning when your cousins mentioned her name." I know who he is he referring to. It's 'her' that made all this ruckus but it's because of 'her' that I'm experiencing this wonderful things.
"Well... I don't know how to react when the time comes. I'll be mad for sure but... She's still Kenji's mother..." I felt my voice broke upon saying she's the biological mother of my baby.
"I'm a little mad too but I'm grateful for having the both of you... It's her that brought is together you know? I feel like I owe it to her a little." Yes the longer I'm in this situation the more I realized the good things this has brought us. I pursed my lips and I'm trying to fight the tears that wanted to escape again.
"If ever she comes backs don't worry I have your back. I will protect you and Kenji in anyway I can. I'll try to keep our family intact like a real father does." He scratched his head maybe he felt a little shy. He doesn't have to shoulder this responsibility but he accepted it without me asking.
"So don't worry and don't cry my dear Sachie..." those words struck my heart and the tears I've been holding back escaped and then I found myself wiping them.
"Can I?" I looked at him and he wiped those tears and placed my head on his shoulders and then he held my hands that were gripping hard on the cup.
His shoulders were always there for me. They were so broad yet comfortable. They were so dependable like a fortress that I know will protect me. I'm such a worrywart. I spent so much on this family. I even have this small dreams, for the future.
The atmosphere is so serene now. Like it's just the two of us in this garden. I heard him humming like making a baby sleep while the swings is rocking mildly together with the night's gentle breeze.
°°°
I woke up in the middle of the night. The other bed was empty with only Kenji surrounded with pillows. I got up and checked on Kenji who got starled but I tapped him gently so he would stay asleep. I placed one pillow closer to him so he would feel that he's sleeping with someone. I went to the fridge and took a bottle of water. I was so stuffed that I felt very sleepy. The food was very nice. It was a nice dinner. I took my phone and checked the time its one in the morning.
Wondering if they went for a night swim I opened the door carefully not to wake up the baby and wore my slippers. It's summer but the night's gentle breeze is soothing. I like summer nights because I don't get sweaty.
It didn't take me a long walk to spot them. They were sitting on the wooden swing. Is Sasa crying again? As I saw her wiping her face. She's been so emotional since I came. Is becoming a mother make you cry a lot? Well my mom do cry a lot of course it had made them so emotional.
I saw them looking at each other. I saw those love sparks between them. How the crying lady looked at the man eye to eye and how he gazed at her. Reeve put her head on his shoulder its a very nice silhouette. I noticed the little smoke, are they drinking warm milk? Hot chocolate? No ones gonna drink coffee at this hour anyway.
I smiled at the two of them. When is the right time for you my dear cousin? I felt relieved knowing that someone is taking care of you. No one wants to be placed in your situation so somehow I'm admiring you and him for standing up for someone who isn't even blood related. Well I think he might be related to Reeve in a way though. It can't be pure coincidence that both of them looked alike though. My gut tells me something but who cares?
I'm a hopeless romantic that believes that love wins in the end.
I know their love story is still budding but I hope it will conquer all in the end...
I went back inside and slept beside Kenji. Well it looks like your "mom and dad" are having their moment. I captured their silhouettes in my mind. It's sweet I wish I'll find my own soon. I smiled at that thought. Nah... I'm enjoying my singlehood so it can wait.
Well I guess a cup of coffee wouldn't be bad for some heart to heart talks at night.
28-02-2020