11. Chapter 11: Hermione

Yo, people. :D A lot of you liked the Pansy part, and I'm glad. There might be more about Ron and Pansy...

Jeeesh, school started a week ago. Nooooo! It's so boring and we get tons of homework. -Sighs- I'll try to fit updates between homework, but expect them to be not as often as before.

Reply to reviews:

dracochick: I didn't say that Draco spewed slugs, I said he sprouted slugs. If I remember correctly, there's a scene at the end of book 4 where Harry and the twins both cast hexes on Draco and Co., resulting in little slug/tentacles sprouting from their faces. But maybe I should have put tentacles instead... anyhow, thanks for the comment. -Hug-

Dreaming One: Thanks for all your advice, I basically just did the previous chapter for that scene. I should have added more, I guess... :D

And on with...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 11

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HERMIONE

Well, I suppose you're wondering why I'm in the Prefects' bathroom, desperately scrubbing my mouth out with my toothbrush.

Let me give you a clue. It's got something to do with Malfoy.

Yes... that complete utter idiot's friends (who are even more idiotic, if that was possible) pushed me into him and made me... um, kiss him. I mean, how stupid can you get? What kind of dumbass, when trying to get someone away from Malfoy, ends up pushing them right into him instead?

Well, I guess Crabbe and Goyle are just that sort of people... I wouldn't be surprised if they won the 'Witch Weekly - The Most Dumb Dumbasses Award' for 10 years straight. Or maybe for their whole lifetime, even.

"Hermione...! Are you in there?"

I turn, toothbrush dangling from my mouth and toothpaste foaming around my lips. "Yersh."

"Is that... Hermione? Sorry if it's not... um..." Ron's voice falters and dies.

"Oh, itsh meh! I'm jusht brushring my teesh right now." I spit the foam and toothbrush out and wipe my mouth hastily on a towel. Automatically my hand reaches for my pack of dental floss. I guess old habits die hard. I was raised by two dentists, after all. Ron will have to wait a while before I open the door.

"'Mione... I need to talk to you for a minute. Will you come out, please?"

"Not now, Ron. I'm busy. I'll come out in a few minutes."

"Are you shaving?"

I nearly spit out the dental floss at his question. Shaving? Who does he think I am? I'm not like Lavender or some people, who grow hair as thick as gorillas on their legs and arms. I'm pretty much hairless... apart from my head, of course. "No, I am not shaving."

"Taking a bath?"

I sigh to myself. "Ron - honestly. Can't you just wait a while without trying to guess what I'm doing?" And I'd have thought it would be obvious. Apart from showering or going toilet, bathrooms are usually used for brushing teeth.

A few minutes later, I emerge from the bathroom smelling like my toothpaste. I follow Ron down the hallway. "So... what were you going to ask?"

He turns, an unusually serious expression on his face. "Hermione... is it true that you... you kissed Malfoy?"

The way he says it, with so much loathing, makes me feel like I'd been slapped in the face. I feel a blush creeping up from my neck. "Um... you heard already...?" I absently fidget with the hem of my top. "Let me explain, Ron - it was an accident..."

He shakes his head. "I believe you. But what were you doing around him, anyway? First I heard about that chandelier thing, now this."

"Look, Ron. This is what happened. Listen, OK?" I sigh and stop walking, leaning against the wall with my arms folded. "I was going to confront Malfoy about the Pansy thing."

Ron's face softens a bit. "Oh, was that it?"

"Yes. Then, well you know Crabbe and Goyle, they're as stupid as a rock, if not stupider. I was pretty much screaming at Malfoy and they got pissed off, and tried to beat me up or something." I turn a bit pink at the memory of what came next. "But... well, let me just say that instead of hurting me, they managed to push me towards that ferret-boy. And the rest is history."

"I see..." He nods, finally understanding the situation I'd been in. "So it was an accident. Well, I believe you, Hermione. Even if you did kiss Malfoy willingly, we would have supported you, however reluctantly."

I smile at him, relieved that he'd understood. "Thanks, Ron. Have I ever told you that I'm really glad to have friends like you, Harry and Ginny?"

Ron blushes. "Don't worry about it." He starts to stride away. "Come on, 'Mione. Let's get going back to the common room, or Filch will have our heads. It's past 9:00pm."

I follow him, grinning, and glad that he was using ''Mione' again, instead of my full first name. That was as close to a nickname I'd ever gotten, unless you count those ridiculous pet names that your parents give you when you're small, like 'Hermy' or 'little angel/princess/cherub', etc.

That night, despite explaining the accident to Ron, I lay awake in bed for a long time before finally drifting off to a troubled sleep. I'm sure you know what was occupying my mind.

The next week passes quite quickly and peacefully. There were no fights between us and Malfoy (very unusual) and I didn't have time to think of anymore schemes because of my tight homework schedule. But I promised myself that I wasn't going to stop here when I'd already gotten this far.

Saturday morning comes. I wake up with a loud yawn, glance at my watch, which says 7:03 am, and get up. I remember the forgotten top in my trunk and decide to get it washed while I'm up so early. None of the other girls are moving in their beds, and the sound of snoring recedes as I step out of the dormitory without changing. I figure nobody would be up this early, and I'm too lazy to get changed out of my nightgown.

At the side of the lake, I conjure up a small washtub and some Frend (a Muggle brand of cleaning product, used especially for lifting stains). After thinking a moment, a scrubbing brush is added to the inventory of items. I sit down heavily next to the lake and dip the washtub into the icy water, wincing as the coldness numbs my hand. There is no sign of the giant squid. I would have liked its company, even though it isn't exactly human.

Dunking the soiled top into the water, I spray the wet cloth with Frend and scrub it as hard as I can. After a while my hands start to get tired and I lay back on the dry grass, sunshine starting to find its way onto my face. I sigh in content and close my eyes.

"Turning into a washing maid, are we?"

My eyes snap open and I sit up immediately. There is no mistaking that lazy drawl. My heart skips a beat, whether it is from hate or shock, I don't know. "Malfoy?" I ask incredulously. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Same reason as you - oh wait, maybe not exactly the same reason," he smirks. "I like my morning walks."

I snort. "Huh. Really."

His smirk grows wider. "And if you're going to wash clothes, at least dress appropriately for the job." Malfoy nods at my nightgown, and I flush a deep red, instinctively crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"I didn't think anyone would be out this early, least of all you," I mumble, turning back to my washing.

"Everyone has their surprises, I guess." He sits down next to me. "You don't need to fold your arms. There's nothing there to cover, anyway."

I feel myself starting to get very angry. This is almost a certainty these days - as soon as Malfoy and I hold a conversation, at least one of us gets mad at the other. "Shut up, ferret-boy. What do you know, anyway?"

"Well, then... want me to find out if you have anything to hide?" he asks suggestively, leaning closer. My face turns even redder and I shove him away.

"S-stop that," I yell, bending my head down and scrubbing at the washed top in a frenzy. I can almost hear him sneer.

"Come on, it won't hurt..."

And with that, he pushes me into the icy cold water of the lake.

"Ahhhh! What was that for?" I scream as the water seeps through my nightgown and chills my skin. I shiver, feeling like a human popsicle, and paddle the best I can with my feet underwater to keep afloat. Thank goodness I'm not wearing a heavy robe, or I would have drowned by now. Malfoy is laughing his head off on the shore. I send him a glare and his laughing subsides.

Suddenly, a lazy tentacle emerges from under me and lifts me into the air. "Whoooaaa!" I shout as I cling onto the giant squid's tentacle. It's harder than it sounds - it is slippery with water, and the surface is smooth like jelly. The squid tosses me back to shore. "Ahhhhh- ommf!" I land in a heap beside Malfoy, who has started laughing again. "I said, 'shut up'!"

"That made my day," he says, grinning as I stand up. There is silence as he looks at my wet clothes. He stares and stares until I feel so annoyed that I could punch him.

"What is it?" I ask irritably. Then I look down at myself. My cheeks flame red again - a very strange sight, because it had been white just a second ago. "Um... er..."

Obviously, my whole nightgown had been soaked. But what I realized just now is that it has turned very transparent, too. So basically, you can see right through it to my underwear.

"Bookworm you might be, but at least you've got a nice body, too." Malfoy raises an eyebrow, looking impressed. "It's a surprise no-one's tried to get you into bed yet."

"Why you little..." I glare, at the same time trying to cover myself up, and swing a fist at him. I didn't expect it to hit, but surprisingly it lands on his chest and he loses his balance. The look on his face is priceless as he falls back and lands, with a huge splash, into the lake.

I choke and double over, my sides splitting from laughter. His head bobs up, his expression furious. "I'll get you, Granger!" he shouts angrily. I am pleased to notice that there's no sign of the squid to help him. I give him a sweet smile.

"Yeah, sure," I grin and walk off, my clean top floating behind me as if held by invisible hands. "See you later!"

In my mind I've already written out the next plan, which I've just performed:

- Plan 3: Make Malfoy feel the cold.

When: Now!

Why: For pushing me into the lake. It was freezing! Damn that idiot!

How: I've just done it. :D

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Well... there it is. :D Chapter 11! 12 will be up in a week or so, depending on my schoolwork. Thank you for all your reviews, everyone. I loved reading them.