Review Detail of Bulledar in Time Effect ( A Mass Effect Fanfiction)

this is a lesson in the phrase show don't tell everything I got through reads as "this happened then that, but then something surprising, we made some crazy shit but you really should have been there it was awesome sauce" the whole thing is a mix of third person while also being first person in a humble a good effort for a project to self improve on the authors behalf but frustrating to read.