Mmn, how should I say this? Balin Qiubai, if Qiubai was his family name... then you've got it backwards! Family name first, then personal name! He should be called Qiubai Balin. Anyway. Writing quality is good. I'm a sucker for medieval armies and medieval fantasy armies too. Something about the imagery of having hippogriff riders flying above knights riding dinosaurs seems really cool to me (example). So I liked the opening chapter. Perhaps a bit of overabuse of emotes in the writing. Not sure how to feel about this. I'm okay with emotes if ifs sent by one character to another via mobile, but using it as a narrative tool... I don't know. Overall, good. Give it a shot.
arthuronuranus
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