Review Detail of C4ndy in Immortal almana

I see. So you are writing a story by the seat of your pants. This is a pantser story. No wonder some things seem to be appearing out of the blue. Pantsing a story is fine, but you have to make sure you stay consistent with whatever rules you make and stay true to the original purpose of the story. Outlining has it's pros and cons, but will tend to give more cohesive storylines. If you are pantsing, I would recommend having at least one or two important things kept in mind. 1. What is the whole point of this story? To make people laugh? Is it an action movie? Watch the protagonist grow? You need to know what the main aim and goal of the story is. It can't just be to watch the protagonist level up. That won't resonate with readers so well - watching someone level up isn't interesting in itself. Is it for the protagonist to come in touch with deeper emotions and learn to control them as weapons in battle while she's leveling up? Think about it. 2. What should the reader experience? You want to guide the reader's thoughts. What type of experience are you giving your reader? Are they just here for a ride? To share the MC's experience? To pity and cheer for the MC? Do you want them to help the MC solve their problems and include them in problem solving processes? Your main story arc so far appears to be: 1. Almana dealing with trauma and grief in a traumatic situation 2. System styled leveling - complete missions to become stronger. You'll still need to consider for the future how the system contacts the people (not entirely necessary but useful to know), why the system is there and what the owner of the system gets out of this? Entertainment? Life energy? Something else? Where do these skills and unique skills come from? Who's giving them and what for? If unique skills are inherent skills... I'll let you think about it yourself. It's your story so you can be ruthless with yourself. Consider why you chose a system/game style in the first place. Why are you cutting corners by using a cheat device in your story writing? Writing stories helps you to understand yourself as well. You need to know yourself why you might go this route. Don't just say because you like it or because other people are writing this type of story. Don't tell me. This is for your own reflection. It will inform the future direction of your story and whether you'll even be able to write the story to its end. 4. Fight and get rid of the aliens. Save the world. If you can imagine the story like a movie in your mind or immerse yourself in the story environment setting, it will come across through your writing. If you put yourself in your MC's shoes more firmly and become them as you write, their emotions will spill out better. However, not everyone can do this and this is not recommended for all first person stories. It again greatly affect your mental health, so be careful. Otherwise, you can come at it from a more objective and analytical angle. Whatever works for you to make the story jump off the page. Do not post first drafts. The first draft is for you as an author to figure out what's in your head and get it out. Your second draft streamlines your main story and organises your thoughts. You look for your subplots and organise them or plan them at this point.

Every subsequent draft should improve your story. Only by your 5th or 10th draft should you consider posting or publishing. Even then, you still need to reread and re-edit. Hard work pays off. Even if you don't have too many readers, at least you will by then have developed more confidence in your own work and abilities, and this will come through in your writing. Keep it up