Review Detail of anon88 in The Dollie

This is a review of the first thirteen chapters. The story is a complete short story. The main character is Elizabeth, an elementary school aged child who is celebrating her birthday with a small group of friends. The story has qualities of a nightmare a child would have after watching “Chucky”; her doll comes to life and tries to kill her. Just like any dream, scenes are incoherently placed next to each other. Additionally, the content of chapter 1 is out of sequence. It has events that only take place after her friend has arrived and she has separated from her in the dark. There are grammar issues. There are several run-on sentences. The first few chapters need more paragraph breaks.