IAmMicah

It is interesting for sure. It's hard for me to tell if my critiques are because of the story itself or simply because this is not a genre I usually read. I wonder why she is so insistent on getting revenge for the people who hurt the original body's owner. In my eyes there is nothing wrong or trashy about being weak, but it seems like she was also mean and tyrannical herself, making me wonder if she brought some of the hatred on herself. She also seems to just be really good at everything. I wonder what challenges she will have to face in the future and how she will grow as a character. Still, I think the world is interesting and I actually enjoyed the smaller chapters, which are a big contrast to my own long chapters. That made it easy to read through a lot of the story without getting trapped in one scene for too long.

As a side note, I do think the English could be improved, both in terms of grammar/punctuation and in more natural sounding word choice, but the story is clearly understandable, so this isn't a dealbreaker.

I do think that the character and story development are good. This is not my usual genre of story, so it's hard for me to give too much advice, but for those who enjoy gossip, intrigue, and work/school drama type stories you will find plenty of it here. An interesting peak into the lives of people with real joys and real struggles. The characters are relatable, and I like the friendship between the FL and her best friend.

I'm enjoying the story so far. In particular the end of chapter 1 has me wondering if his book idea is going to come back into okay later. The English could use some improvement. It's understandable, I knew what was happening, but some of the phrasing and word choice seemed awkward. I wouldn't let that stop you from giving it a read though!

Is it cut off on your screen for some reason, or do you just think the sentence is awkward?

I do think the story is interesting and unique, though I've only gotten through the first few chapters so far. The writing and grammar could use some significant improvement, and the style often reads more like a script than a book at times, but it does get better as the chapters go on. Overall I think the idea and the world are interesting!

I though about it, but I think maybe I'll keep them for now (and not just because my mom likes them haha.) If more people end up really disliking them in the future, maybe I'll take them out. :')

Thanks for the advice! I'll try and split them up more in the following chapters! I think my Wheel of Time influence is showing.

Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far!

I think the story is actually very interesting so far, and I am interested to see where it goes. I do think the grammar needs some work, especially since it does affect the readability some. Still the way the narrator talks is relatable, even if it isn't very traditional for a novel, and I care about that character. Good start!