OwIInTheNightSky
Lv1
2021-03-05 BeigetretenGlobal
-h
des Lesens
2
Bücher lesen
Abzeichen
1Augenblicke
3
OwIInTheNightSky3yrKommentiert"I have a bad feeling." This is more of what someone would say, not a thought. You could change it to "I get a bad feeling." or in past tense, "I had a bad feeling."
" Ok, now on to the fun part." Mom cheered as she clapped her hands together. I have a bad feeling. "It's time for combat training, Loki comes over and stands in front of me." Mom rejoiced as it seemed she loved combat. "I will have you pick a weapon that you will use from now on," She used her water element and changed its shape into multiple items on the floor.- OwIInTheNightSky3yrKommentiert
I sat down and, instead of "I was sitting down when" You would have to change that because here you're using past tense, as opposed to the present tense. If you want past tense to be the tense Loki is narrating in, you would need to change a few other sentences. I can lead you if you want to switch to past tense.
Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen. - OwIInTheNightSky3yrKommentiert
On "Pay up honey," you would have to have to add a period or a comma after "tomorrow"
Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.