webnovel
0
Chaddts

Chaddts

Lv1
2021-01-27 BeigetretenGlobal
-d

Schreiben

4.3h

des Lesens

2739

Bücher lesen

Abzeichen
5
Augenblicke
1064
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts11 days ago
    Kommentiert

    This isn't making much sense at all.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts13 days ago
    Kommentiert

    Way, way too fast. And what's the point of getting the letter and then having McGonagall shown up a minute later?. How does he know where he is? How does he know WHEN it is? The MC has information not shown at all, and it feels weird. Also the orphan start it too cliche and basic. Far too easy to write the story when there is no family around. It's a Hallmark of a lazy author to start with the orphan trope.

    Dieses Buch wurde gelöscht.
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts14 days ago
    Antwortet auf excellle

    It's not "of author" it's a thief, call them as such.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts16 days ago
    Antwortet auf Jack_frost_3442

    Ohh, look another fake account.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts19 days ago
    Kommentiert

    Holy shit, the English was bad in this chapter.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts20 days ago
    Verschickt

    While the translation isn't bad, it's not good either. It's heavily repetitive, like Chinese traditionally does, and that simply doesn't work in English. Furthermore, while the story starts okay, the MC is handed benefit after benefit. He just "happens to be related to Uchiha from his grandfather who was a secret Madara supporter, yet he has no doubts about getting the sharingan when he is lucky to even be 1/4 Uchiha. His family just "happens" to have a route in and out of konoha, passing through the barrier. His family just "happens" to have a large store of knowledge stashed away in their home, in a hidden underground area. His father was a ninja, and showed his sharigan at some point as well, so I don't understand how they are a "secret." Uchiha family, It doesn't make any sense. There are also small things like Orichimaru somehow understanding what the MC understands, without a conversation or even any body language being shown to communicate as much. The MC is literally bowing in respect to Orichimaru, yet we get this long inner monolog from orichimaru. Somehow orichimaru just "knows" and it's not explained or shown, yet we get quite literally a dozen paragraphs of explanation immediately prior to this scene about some completely irrelevant topic that doesn't matter at all. Lastly time. The MC goes to his first day of school and they do introductions, then class ends? They don't go home, but eat lunch on a playground, and then he goes home and skips class on his first day, when it completely contradicts class having already ended. This also doesn't even mention that somehow introductions took until lunch from class start which makes absolutely no sense at all. The MC is also an asshole to his only friend, Obito for no reason. It makes him very unlikable as a person. The MC's inner monolgs are also terrible. Needlessly long and they just show more of his asshole though process. Tldr. Chinese wish fulfillment that lacks and sense of treating people with respect. The MC acts like a Chinese asshole who cares only for themselves. It's a very selfish and greedy thought process that just doesn't work for the western audience in the way it's written.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts20 days ago
    Kommentiert

    Dropped. The school system is making absolutely no sense at all. This reads like it was written with ai. The continuity is all over the place. Time isnt flowing properly, and the story is way, way too fast and contrived.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts20 days ago
    Kommentiert

    Way to much explanations at the end of the chapter, all of it should be cut and removed. Furthermore, how does orichimaru know what the MC understands? That not explained and simply stated. Orichimaru doesn't have psychic powers.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts20 days ago
    Kommentiert

    I have never seen a blond Uchiha before.

  • Chaddts
    Chaddts20 days ago
    Antwortet auf An_Aa

    It's a translation thing. For instance, one of friezas attacks in dbfz is labeled psycho ball or something like that. It's the closest term to what is used in Japanese. We have more specific terms, English is an extremely concise language when wielded well.