Phyc_Arts
des Lesens
7
Bücher lesen
I like the plot however I feel like you have rushed into the story a bit. It would be better if you kind of lead yourself into the story like her getting up or sitting up and then she wonders where ray is. Rushing the story made want to rush the reading of that makes sense. The story is great though. Keep it up![img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend]
if you continue reading he says how do you allow me to call you that. its a nickname sorry for the misunderstanding.
Im reviewing the first chapter of your book and its really good. I was interested from the start. there are some grammatical mistakes and the placement of some words Can be corrected. i hope you dont mind if i copy the whole thing and correct it for you. Overall its a great story carry on! AlSo help review my First 3 chapters of my story called big feelings.