Abaddon_Steele

what's a nice enough grouping

I think you misunderstood a point I made. My problem isn't that the female lead was introduced early, I don't mind and it gives us time to get to know them better. The problem was how forced everything was, almost immediate attachment, marriage contract, family that is astounded by how "cunning and bold" the mc is (and yes, that line still annoys me heavily. Feels like I've read that a million times from shitty wuxia novels where the mc is brain dead and the author gets around that by making everyone else as smart as a brick), several chapters where nothing gets done and is just politics or exposition that isn't interesting in the slightest. I'm not trying to be rude so sorry if it comes off that way, I struggle with communication. I mean it when I say it that your writing gets infinitely better when Daphne and her family aren't around. Compare the Training chapter to any of the Daphne ones, it's night and day.

This is what I meant earlier. The less Daphne shows up the better the writing gets.

It would be more interesting if he was more conflicted on how to feel about his father.

Arial* Ariel is my name

Rooftop Swordsman was great, I haven't read it in a while so I gotta get back to it.

I've tried to think of a way to say this nicely but have been unable to come up with something. This story has been going downhill since you put in the marriage contract. Ever since then it's been Daphne this and Daphne that. This relationship is forced and doesn't work at all. You haven't given us a chance to get to know her or her family. She showed up and almost immediately the MC was revealing secrets and even teases about telling her about his biggest secret. Rather then let their relationship blossom over time it was shoved in our face and forced. Not to mention the greengrass family that serves as an excuse to harp on about how "Cunning and bold" the mc is, it gets annoying and boring. I would honestly recommend rewriting everything since the Marriage contract, get rid of it entirely or at least wait till their 3rd year in Hogwarts. Focus more on healing Harry and learning from Mr. Black and for the love of God stop revealing his secrets.

nevermind

it's cold blooded murder

Why would you? that's not that ridiculous.