Gabuji

That is because if I were to write the same way without the names you'd get confused very fast.

I like how expressive you are with your words. You write very well and I enjoy how you describe your characters. The story itself is also enjoyable and very interesting. Keep going and I'm pretty sure this story will be received very well.

This is definitely a different take on the this genre. I think personally it is very interesting. Any idea can be a good if you know what you're doing, and I think you got what it takes. Work hard, and keep going. You certainly got this.

Shameless? Maybe, but Hey. I think it's pretty Good. If you read this story, I hope you enjoy. This story has a long way and this is only the beginning.

I like the way you use you words, It flows very well. I'm liking the story, and even the first chapter had a very strong opening and strong ending. Keep it up. You're doing very well.

It needs some work, but I'm sure you've been told, so I'm not going to get into it. It is really good though, (In my opinion) and I'm sure you'll do great . Keep working.

I like the way you write things out. I enjoyed everything while I was reading and the story itself seems pretty interesting. Keep them coming, I'm sure this story will do very well.

Sorry for the late reply. it's Gabuji#7463

I appreciate this very much.

This is not a story I would normally read. But to me, a story is a story and you did pretty well for the first chapter. It has potential for it's genre but I have to say. You have a lot of run on sentences, and your grammar can use a little work. Besides that, your story got to the point and gave out great visuals. Keep going, I can see this being a great story for those who enjoy this genre. I'll probably come back and keep reading for myself to be honest.