Crystillia

according to. Well done though author, you’ve got me hooked

That’s a really cool word.

Physics-psychics

Sir Frederick’s already one of my fav ourite characters

Mssionary to missionar y

If there’s one way to describe this book, it’d simply be to say that it defies expectations. The introduction to this book is one of the greatest I’ve ever read. Not in light novels. Not in Manga. Ever. The chapter title, I was a fool, the portrayal of the intense emotional distress was going through, shown by the great description done through the spectacular prose. Focusing on the prose, the third person perspective is clearly spectacular. The descriptions of each character’s feeling throughout a scene or a timeframe(the other knights when facing Kevin in the first scene of war, still fearful of a bleeding out lion) or (Ezra’s mother bursting into his room with more anxiousness then a child waiting for a Christmas present, with none of the joy, but all of the fear inherent with a child of her own being caused any pain), are extremely well done, and the character introductions and humour have loads of merit. This is one I’ll be a reader of for a long time.

Reviewing the first few chapters of My Inner Ability System, the potential inherent in this series is clear to see. Unlike a plethora of system Light novels, the obtaining and using of the system isnt mixed into a fantastical/hyper advanced world, at least not immediately, with abilities being more under the radar than pure fantasy realms. This could tie into future possible plot points of morality, when using such abilities on ordinary humans, and conflicts with other secret ability users. The main character Obed has some foundational build up as someone who is curious, calm, and hardworking, and I look forward to further development with the character. Some things that I would say are holding My inner ability system back include: The lack of better Punctuation in the early chapters, which makes readers slog through chapters that aren't the easiest to grasp and understand because of the punctuation, capital letters, speech marks etc. Though these are improved in the later part of the series, it would be best to fix the first few chapters, either parralell to writing new episodes, or in an hiatus. This same mindset can be applied to the synopsis, but to a lesser degree. I'd say that, to improve your synopsis, it'd be a good idea to ask someone whose prose you find very good, to help you re-work it. Well done though, keep up the good work.

A review of the first chapter. The first chapter clearly achieves two things: charachterisation of the main charachter, and a foundational understanding of the underlying worldbuiling of werewolves and humans, with how each society intergrates(or doesnt) with each other. For improvement, I would suggest either emphasising the mystery of the werewolves existence, if thats something you plan to focus on, or give the readers more insight into the male’s protagonist’s perspective. Well done though

I really like this writer's style of writing. Though there are mistakes, they are minimal, with the rest of it being very clean. The introduction to the world is sharp, with no tomfoolering to the point. The introducing of main points that this world shall center on is well done. The design of the mc is also pretty sharp, with the only problem being that genericity might overwhelm him compared to other charachters, but as of now, only five chapters are out, giving you loads of time to improve that. The world is good enough so far for a story like this, but I would reccomend fleshing it out more, not just the parts of an adventurer. The name of the book/world is probably best as a placeholder and not the final name. Good work.