Im a 19 year old with a strong passion for making a story. I put hard work into making sure my novels stay original, and I hope that through good criticism, my novel can become successful one day.
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I like the path the story is going. It breaks away from the typical romance scene, rather focusing mainly on a theme of betrayal and revenge, sprinkling in a nice dark undertone to the story to enhance it. Not only that, but the female lead is powerful and smart, making her a very likable character.
So far the world building in this story is a one of a kind. From there being multiple races to teleportation and the Gondola dimension, this novel is all you need if you're into sci-fi. Narration is also very detailed and gives you vivid images of the story as it progresses. Amazing job, author!
Also if you would like, can you give specifics on the characters' interactions that concern you? Do you dislike the way Lisa and her father interact with Jay? Do you feel the same way with Ben and the other characters he meets?
Thanks for your feedback! I really appreciate the thought you put into helping my story improve. So far I agree with everything you've said and I'll make sure to improve on it. One thing I want to make certain though, what you're basically saying is both side A and B are doing what they can for survival, but with the way I'm telling the story, I'm making it seem like one side is good and the other is bad, right? If so ill do what I can to change it and make everything more clear. Once again, thank you for your review, this was very informative and helpful for me!
This was incredible. For a story of romance, the plot is actually very well-made, and you can tell the author has put a lot of effort into it. A lot of effort was also put into narration, allowing us to visualize the setting with ease. Also, a lot of the characters, especially Red, are very likeable.
The novels plot has a rather unique take on the romance genre. All of the characters are also well developed and well though out. Writing quality isn't a strong suit but can easily be improved with experience. I recommend you give this novel try!
The shift in first person to third person point of view was a very interesting and unique idea. Your writing is also high in quality, with detailed descriptions for every scene in the book. Good work, author.
From reading this, you can tell there was a lot of effort put into this novel. The writing quality is flawless, scenes are described with precision, and every character is unique and all have their own defining qualities. This is a good novel and I recommend it!
The first chapter was very emotional, and the mc's will to live right when it was too late for her was heartbreaking. I will say though, your paragraphs are very long and dividing them out into smaller parts would be more pleasing to the eyes for all your readers. Other than that, this book seems very promising.
A very unique and interesting concept to the story. The mc is granted power to defy the problems and suffering life had to offer to him, and the world now becomes his oyster. Writing quality is also articulate. Keep up the good work, author.