Jackal_Zirson

I don't usually review webnovel books, as it tends to be a lost cause when it comes to quality, however I feel your story has some potential here. the main positives are: Unique story concept: Unique story (not sticking to cannon). that being said, there's also quite a few negatives, a Greek deity not recognizing a Norse rune, the choppy scenes and unexplained time skips/ changes to the timeline, the romance flags with Artemis, Maria falling in love felt surface level and needed more build up if you were going that route, and a lot of characters feel like barely different iterations of the same person. you have a good story here, especially by webnovel standards, but you have a long way to go.

though i like the idea of Percy dragging Eileen's corpse back to the waking world, I would think being her apprentice he would know that the sky burial is the traditional way in which to send hunters off.

it's kind of annoying where every other fanfiction tries to ship Artemis and the MC. her character is not only staunchly against it (Thus OOC) but it is also over done, thus not very entertaining.

laying the hunter schtick on a bit thick here, that and a goddess showing anything similar to alarm over a mortal, even a moon scented hunter, is a bit strange.

it's high-low tier as far as novels go. I wanted to finish the story before I rated this. but it's gotten to the point that by chapter 15 my immersion has been completely broken. flaws- The author forces things to follow along a cannon like path in an unbelievable way. the characters don't react strongly enough to seeing the shadow soldiers the first time, this magic goes against the common sense of this world. with how Cids character is shaping up in his daylight persona, it's going to be hard to differentiate himself from shadow, if he reveals himself, fine, but at least show a bit of the planning. the biggest flaw is that this fanfiction can't even capture a tenth of the wonder the original webnovel and light novel could, and I think it's mainly due to the author not having read them. final flaw is that the author is misusing words, or has grammatically flawed sentences, and doesn't seem to have improved in 15 chapters, so i doubt much will have changed by a 150

very good, though I don't see why you rewrote it, I am hoping to see more out of you

to preface- i dont mind reposts on here, but you should honestly be dissapointed in yourself, you turned 9 chapters on fanfiction@net into a 80 part webnovel- made false promises about extending it- and have thoroughly pissed me off. learn to write and dont make promises you cant keep

with an app like wattpad, where i expect at best a 4/10 experience, i am happy to say that this is one of the best fanfiction i have ever read, i am sad to see that you haven't updated in two months. however, you should feel proud of what you have made here. alltogether, I'd say this is a 9/10 experience in fanfiction (i have over 1500 fanfiction favorited/read between all sights) and 7/10 as far as books go. keep it up, you have what a great skill.

cuck

ok writing but annoying amount of chapters are just advertisements or dumb questions, the author is pandering to his readers more then developing his story, he also asks questions to his readers for the smallest thing slowing down the story, its obvious this is all just a way for him to get more patreon subs.