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TheNeeD

TheNeeD

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2019-06-15 BeigetretenGlobal
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  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeDa year ago
    Verschickt

    Reading the comments, I see an extremely sad situation. Everyone likes this work so much that I have doubts about the objectivity of the assessment. But who am I to tell people what's good and what's not? The story could be interesting, but the implementation is as always... 1) The alignment of forces in the world is completely ignored, there is no balance (Without seals, the whole JL overcomes, and what will happen when at least 5 are opened?): 2) The logic of the characters is completely broken (Deprived of someone's limbs? And let's call her to the headquarters! The Batman... BATMAN pushed aside his paranoia and took her to the orbital base. And if you look more closely, it becomes scary there in general) 3) Another evil character who became evil just to be evil. No motivation, no personality development, just under the yoke of an experience that he doesn't even remember. 4) Character selection (subjective opinion).

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeDa year ago
    Verschickt

    You know, I wanted to write a lot, but for some reason I changed my mind. The problem of authors who try to write in the style of "wuxia" is that they try to imitate too much and take not the most reasonable things. An example is the ratio in the battle of different ranks (Chapter 7). On what principles was this relationship based, was individual skill and teamwork taken into account? The area, the composition of the group and further on the list. Personally, I doubt it and it was invented like: "Well, it will do." But there are other problems, but I'm too lazy to write about it. It was certainly interesting, but with this work we are not on the way. I wish the author success.

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Verschickt

    I opened this work with the thoughts: "Darkseid in Marvel? It will be interesting." But this unfulfilled dream was shattered by grammar. I realized that everything was very, very bad when I felt the moisture that came out of my eyes, and this moisture is not tears.

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Verschickt

    With each new chapter, the story looks worse and worse. 1) Zero emotions, an empty hero - Died? Well, he died and died, who doesn't happen to? Zero emotions, zero reactions. Met God? Pfft. I see them every day, what's the big deal? The hero has no past, just an unnecessary dummy. 2) The smartest, most logical, most correct move on the part of the heroine. Which one? And the one when she tells everyone right and left that she can shift the boundaries. Hmm.... Okay. How did he (Vali) know she it shifts exactly these boundaries (see the fifth chapter). What prevents her from using the same time or space to increase the activation of the mechanism or redirect magic somewhere into the void? 3) Oh yes, another author who forgets that in English (and not only) there is such a thing as "PRONOUNS" in the language. Is it that hard to replace the name "Yukari" with "She"? Of course, it's easier to write her name ten times.

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Antwortet auf Lambhendelta

    "I think you missed the point. When she calls herself rational the whole point is that she actually isn’t and everyone else knows it. The Reginleif even points out your exact point in like the very next chapter…" ------ And that's not typical? The heroine is "The smartest", everyone knows this, except the heroine herself. This has never happened before and here you are again. A typical "Rational" heroine. ----- "Also heroines aren’t “typically lazy” " We open the first chapter and see such a line as: "Personality: Lazy". If the author himself says that she is lazy... Okay, convinced. We open the chapter in which the event is taking place, when they were given cards, what does she do? Come on? Oh, and she's sleeping. And how did it happen?

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Antwortet auf Lambhendelta

    "hateful" How convenient, isn't it? And to read the works and the essence of my claims?

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Verschickt

    Everything you need to know about this story. 1) A typical lazy heroine. 2) A typical strong heroine. 3) A typical heroine who explains to everyone that they are wrong and that she is the most rational. 4) I can still describe how typical a heroine she is, but I won't. Although the wariness appeared even after " Cebrail Caritas - BIO", but for some reason I decided it would be a good idea to try to read it. I think you understand that this was not a very good idea. The 10th chapter caused the most disappointment. "The only enforcer who does not kill," "Swore that she would not kill anymore.".. That's never happened, that's never seen this. The demons wanted to kidnap and sell the Valkyrie? Oh, well, let them walk. Can they get up and find another victim in a week? Oh, yes, she's "Rational."..

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Antwortet auf BAM_AMVS

    The author rewrote the story 3 hours ago. There was another basis of the plot.

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Antwortet auf SolarDragon210144

    Let me try to sort everything out. 1) She was a scientist who wanted to conduct experiments on humans, but she was not given the go-ahead. 2) She turns to criminal gangs to find support there. 3) Representatives of law enforcement agencies come to her. 4) She, who got caught trying to experiment on people, goes to play intrigue with Danzo. So here's the question. How does she, who got caught by ordinary people, want to beat Danzo and the root? Let me remind you that there are such clans as Aburame, Nara, Yamanaka, Uchiha, Hyuga. Do you yourself believe that she had at least a chance? Now, as for her genjutsu. Logic? Balance of power? What for? Kekkei genkai. It's such a hackneyed topic that I don't even want to talk. And the last one. The author rewrote the story a couple of hours ago. So there is no point in commenting on it anymore.

  • TheNeeD
    TheNeeD2 years ago
    Verschickt

    You know, reading this story, I begin to understand that logic and this fanfiction are incompatible. If everything was +-good before DxD, then complete nonsense began. He is seven years old. SEVEN, but he is already an alpha male who crushes every woman he meets. Pure-blooded demon, longinus, golden figures of evil. I don't even know what else to add. What the fuck is this pretentiousness? Why all this posturing? Another important factor is the narrative. Before each dialogue, insert the word "Said" ... why are you doing this to my eyes? Have you even read your own text? If you don't give a shit about the minimal signs of logic, if you want to watch a hero at 7 years old fuck everything that moves and what doesn't move, moves and fucks, as well as cheap posturing, then you are here.