Sigheti

So… I have gone for brutal honesty rather than mindless praise in the hope that I might be able to help you grow. I have read the first two chapters, and have added some feedback on the first few paragraphs. These will probably already give you a bit of an idea what I mean when I say that your grammar needs some work. The most glaring mistake is the constant switch between past and present tense. Overall, I believe there’s a fun story here. It just needs some polishing. I wish you a lot of fun writing it.

“the science council”. Don’t forget the article.

Right so… I get what your aim is: you want your reader to get an idea of what the character looks like… but… to be brutally honest… this comes across as awkward and desperate. This is just one person’s opinion, but maybe try something a little more subtle.

Just for believability: no scientist is going to work without tying their hair back. You really don’t want hair in your face/experiments when you’re handling dangerous chemicals.

You keep using past tense in one paragraph, and present tense in another. Try to choose.

You started your sentence with ‘now’ twice in a row. Not necessarily wrong, but it doesn’t really sound good.

‘Various experiments’. Should be plural.

I assume you mean ‘bought for free’ and not ‘brought for free’.

Also ‘a gas mask’. Don’t forget the article.

Replace ’gets’ with ‘was’. But, since you’re choosing both past tense and first person narrative, it comes across as rather strange. Since it’s past tense, the protagonist already knows whether or not it was successful: try to rephrase in a way that acknowledges the fact that the protagonist knows what’s going to happen (it’s past tense, he’s telling us what happened), but still adds some expectations for your readers.