Bpaat39

I would just like to start off with saying that this novel idea was fantastic and I even quite enjoyed the first 20 chapters. This is despite the consistent spelling mistakes and missing words and just weird sentence structure. ( That persist to chapter 160 +. I checked.) Your story takes a swan dive into ironically enough straight into hell starting from the first paid chapter. Just everything changes. Hades becomes Bipolar which I can live with but then he some how develops a system which you explain pretty okay... ish... But every event you write after that is like you watched too many James Bond movies or just spy movies in general. Hades literally just goes apeshit at random. But then out of nowhere he's just an absolute pushover at the birthday party. Where all he needs to do is either not take out the apple or literally be like "Jk zeus here is your present you are the fairest of them all haha". Even then when he tries to shape the ordeal its like he just froze and melted down like a panic attack. Also, the texting scenes are really rough to read through. Speaking of you made this guy redonkulous level stupid. I have too many reasons to list out but I mean it tracks I guess because he is a mortal in A gods body but every other time you write him he's not an idiot so it really just leaves me feeling off. Sadly im not going to continue with this story which is terrible because again IT REALLY IS a great idea and you had me for the first 20 chapters it doesnt really feel like you reread any of your work and or sat down and planned any of it out.

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

great chapter

Everything you wrote before the mass release was awesome i waited eagerly for every chapter no matter how long. But for the love of any god that will listen stop saying the same nonsense over and over again or re-read your writing if you are unaware of it. Its almost every chapter now where you almost verbatim say the same thing on 4 straight pages. Almost like you you were writing and got distracted and lost where you were so just kept going. In just this one chapter you emphasized that the mage towers are empty and their silence yata yata and the orcs being ready yata yata like 3 or 4 times with 2 paragraphs of each other. Its not a school essay where you gotta inflate everything you say to reach the 1500 word count my dude. I would rather wait the month it was taking you to write something coherent then get 10 chapters a week of nonsense. It's just tiring to read and really takes away from the great story you've come up with already.

holy hell dude we get it they are unmanned and have been the past 4 times youve said on the past 4 pages

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

tell me why the past 4 pages are almost word for word the same thing being said over and over

BEEN HERE SO LONG I FORGOT THERE WAS A SYSTEM IN THIS NOVEL