BowmanW

Mentally a man, but physically? Physically Rimuru can be anything your heart desires. ;)

"This one would have a happy ending... eventually..." I wish more stories did this. Sure, it's a spoiler and slightly dampens the surprises and drama because you know at the end everything will be fine, but its also nice just to enjoy a hardcore, depressing and grim story knowing that everything will be resolved at the end with a happy ending.

L rekt

Could have probably done without the 'to call a certain person'. It's implied he'll call someone when he takes out his phone. It's just useless words.

Barely makes sense. How would she have a photo of him? Why would she not know if she does? Was she randomly taking photos before approaching him? Feels forced. Jarring.

Overall, pretty alright so far. Writing quality is brilliant, great grammar and vocabulary. However, the story is already seeming to be fairly repetitive. First chapter was especially bad, every other paragraph felt like the same thing just phrased differently.

I'd avoid repeating stuff at the start of chapters, because while its somewhat good for returning readers its just jarring for people reading all in one sitting. If you want or need to do something like this, then write the paragraph differently, don't just copy and paste.

Just want to flex my meagre knowledge for a sec: Generally, if someone is knocked unconscious, especially through a physical impact, then that means something has gone very, very wrong. There is a good chance they will die if they don't receive medical treatment very soon as serious internal bleeding is likely. Just wanted to point that out as anime, games and basically all media show being knocked out as being fairly safe for the victim and just a temporary loss of consciousness. These criminals aren't exactly underserving of such a fate.

average webnovel reader: i have crung and you must know