WealthyRaccoon

thanks for the chapter, we deviating from Canon this early in the story? can't imagine kenjaku not changing things up if tengen is more of a problem

thanks for the chapter! any chance we'll see jaune gathering up more followers/tag alongs, starting an organisation or something?

really wanted to like this but the power scaling is just all over the place with characters seemingly becoming stronger and weaker entirely based on the author's whims.

looks like someone's been titrating

good to have you back!

I like the premise but the world building, story direction and character motives seem remarkably shallow and poorly thought out. cannonically crocodile was in alabasta 16 years before luffy started his journey, in the arc there's even a sub plot where he spent years sending sandstorms at an oasis town to kill its water supply, if you're instead going to say he only arrived a couple months before you have to explain why he got there 16 years late. there's also this weird assumption that since the shichibuki are cannonically abolished the title is useless? what? it was abolished solely because of the disaster at marineford, just kill blackboard and a whitebeard commander or two and you're golden. using foreknowledge to shield both the MC and the author from derailing the story is kinda the source of most bad fanfiction. and although this is fanfiction and the standards couldnt get any lower but please just spend an hour in a Google doc planning out an overarching plot instead of just copying the source.

author youve said that the reason we're dragging all this out is for the new mutants to overcome their fears and all that nonsense but can you establish why we would even remotely care about them or their personal development? Andrew doesn't seem to be particularly invested in them friendship or relationship wise, their powers are okay but nothing amazing in marvel land and they all seems like way too much of a hassle to make decent subordinates. if he was just watching on the sidelines doing absolutely nothing or just laughing at them I'd find that far more believable then him taking the time to effectively help them. Really just feels like you're rehashing the movie because it's pre-established? you can say he's doing it to seem like a smaller threat to "Essex" but you also need to say that clearly everytime he sandbags this hard.

hope he eventually creates a soul society dimension for them to reside in. souls after death in marvel world are kinda just left for eldritch gods/hell lords to snack on or lost to the astral plane most of the time. would be cool developing something approaching a proper afterlife

loved the progression of the fight, kudos man

Ichibei seems way weaker in this fight then he should be, I know it's next to impossible to do high level magic/conceptual fights well but providing more detail on each attack would go a long way in making this sound less like a street level brawl. Day one soul reapers could dodge/ignore any standard explosion and most captains could almost tank a nuke, so simply saying the rune exploded and he was forced away isnt really conveying the level of threat you intend. I assume the ancient one uses some form of time manipulation to speed up all attacks along with said explosion, with it also being eldritch/magic in nature allowing it to send him flying, but if you don't say that explicitly it just reads like a minor bomb going off in his face which rather downplays the power levels involved. i like what you're going for but I think you'd be much better served taking some time to emphasize the abnormal nature of attacks, the speed at which they move and the potential effect on the environment (being in the mirror dimension doesn't mean attacks aren't destroying buildings, both yao and ichibei being capable of casually throwing them at each other even when taking the lowest estimate of their power levels ). Doing this, maybe even to the point of over-explanation, would be preferable. It'll slow fight scenes down but two pseudo conceptual beings fighting shouldn't read like generic brawls and its preferable to making him seem weak. Cheers!