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Shuilan

Shuilan

Lv13

A ramdom guy.

2017-11-10 BeigetretenPortugal
1.1kh

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42
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan11mth
    Kommentiert

    I think the chapter as is will do well, if you would rather add detail all the better, so long as the world building is decent and not assuming that everyone knows the story of spider-man I think ilthis could actually turn out amazing because we only saw tame timelines until now in movies of spiderman (spiderverse aside) I think it would be a great way to expand on the story with Jared's intervention

    Usually, people don't expect or demand a lot of detailing in fanfics so I would like your opinion.
    Water Bending In Marvel
    Filme · lazarus898
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan11mth
    Kommentiert

    You mean skilled right?

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    Terror Infinity: Monster
    Anime und Comics · SlyOW
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    Thank you for the chapter! Please keep going, It is progressing well!

    Ch 1 Nightmare
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    Videospiele · dfdXXzzxcZx
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  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    Hello author! I am a new fan of your work! (skip to last paragraph if you think it's too long) I wish to ask how often will you be releasing the chapters, I am loving your work and would love to know when I can look forward to more if you plan to get a schedule up and running. Hope you stick to it because this novel has a lot and I mean a lot of potential aside from plot of anime and game of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners and Cyberpunk 2077 you also got all the back story and tidbits you can look up from the game in form of notes and reports spread throughout the game. you can develop and flesh out all parties undercurents outcomes and so much more before and after both timelines or go au if that is your thing. Sorry and over excited fan, I will not tell you how you should write after all I am here for your work not mine :) I am very excited and look forward to it, bottom line if possible/available give us a schedule preety please!

    Ch 6 Municipal Landfill
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    Videospiele · dfdXXzzxcZx
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  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    I understand that this is a cultural reference to a popular game in fairs but I should ask if this is an Alternate Universe in the world where plastic bags exist because they certainly didn't in cannon, they did not know then how to procure much in the way of byproducts outside of mage's interference wich was very expensive. If I am not wrong.

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    A special witcher
    Videospiele · Blax
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    1st, visa? 2nd shadow foundation, waht is that? 3rd magic is supposed to be as rare as griffins attacking settlements that do nothing to them meaning it is hoarded by shcools and comunities of magic and guarded even more fiercly than a dragon's hoard is guarded by a dragon. How can he just buy manuals? and technique are the lifeblood of wariors no one spreds manuals willy nilly, you gotta be a squire of a witcher trainnee. If a mage sees this guy using magic without belonging to a school he will die, if someone who has the sword technique he practices without the ties to said group that hhas it he will die, just a heads up. 1 more thing no one can kill a drowner untrained and even the normal soldiers do die to them if they don't mob on one single drowner that is why there are witchers.

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    Pack everything into the Shade? what's that? and what's with the timeskips? no character growth no character development ...

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    ...though a very? I don't understand. The wolf now taks too?

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    This person in my opinion must be unfeeling, people don't just go oh a giant wolf from a spell(magic!?), and the chill oh it doesn't bite and obeys(like a videogame is it even a native or something else I mean for story's sake at least do make an effort to introduce que character even if amnesiac) how does he know where he is if he is an amnesiac?(gonna take it is an isekai)

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    SV?

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    Dexterity rather than Skill, or Finness if your so inclined, again Resistance goes into endurance, knowing how to fall does not eleminate damage from falling from high places, skill only mitigates falls from low places it does not eleminate it.

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    An inteligent person soes not take in better fatigue wich is what sleep resistence refers to, add it to Endurance. What does it mean that it determines the meaning?

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    Resistence to fire is implicit in most things, no need to mention it twice. Rather say it boosts the imunnity system, add fire in endurance.

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    hand eye coordination and speed, rather the stat should be agility wich includes all the above.

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    November? Does not make sense, could you explain?

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    Drowners? could you please add descriptions or pictures, it would help visualizing if possible.

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    feathers on the wolf? is this a translation?

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    In Witcher
    Videospiele · Wirsth
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    +1 or Golden eye

    The Golden eyed merc
    I Swear I’m not a Hero [ A Cyberpunk fan fic]
    Anime und Comics · SweatySnail
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    there are various references to Carol as him when it should be her, this happens in many a chapter so far when refering to a girl it should be used as her and to a boy as him for future reference and better readability

    Although Damian hid some things like being a vampire, he would tell him later, he would never say that he had been reincarnated and that this world was fictional in his previous world.
    Primogenitor in Marvel
    Filme · Fast_Reader
    detail
  • Shuilan
    Shuilan1yr
    Kommentiert

    There is a gaff in the word "rents" it should be "rented" due to how it is refering to something already done

    '' Well, I'm going to put Monica to bed, I'll also take the opportunity to bring the Blockbuster movie that I rents today, it'll take me a few minutes, please don't do lewd things on my couch, " María said jokingly.
    Primogenitor in Marvel
    Filme · Fast_Reader
    detail