Klaymore

so... much... filler...

an entire chapter just to say that he sold some board games... focus mr author. your story is very good but it has too much filler

you're starting to miss with the dialogue mr author. this here does not make sense

now, this feels like a forced comment just for the 'comedy'. bad

will you stop the inner yapping already? damn

I can see it as a form of disrespecting hinata. Since she was kinda being sidelined in the story as the heir maybe hiring an outsider to teach her is done to seal her fate as a failure?

It would have been amazing if MC had discovered all these things about his fighting style and then made the changes to it all by himself. Instead, by handing him a convenient peerless master to train him and solve all his problems you took away his agency and his potential for development

what a way to fucking ruin a series that started out decent. At least put a tag in the description saying that this is going to be a crossover world.

You need to separate the dialogues in two different paragraphs when there are two people talking. The way you're writing them makes it feel like it's the same person responding to themselves. At least at first glance, which makes the reader have to take a second glance, and it breaks the immersion.

I don't know if i'm not mathing correctly, but shouldn't mihawk be like 6 years old right now? The one piece story starts in the year 1518 according to the author, and right now is 1483. Mihawk was 41 years old at the start of the manga. If i'm mathing correctly, mihawk should be indeed 6 years old. what's the deal with that?