Funniest novel I have ever read, give it a try. ... Lin Beifan traversed a world made up of countless urban web novels and became a minor antagonist. He gained access to a wishing system, allowing him to make one wish every day. Utilizing the system's abilities, along with his own clever tactics, he managed to outwit and defeat all the protagonists, throwing the storylines into chaos. As a result, the cosmic order sought to reset the narrative and cursed Lin Beifan: any wish he made would be granted in double measure to his enemies! Lin Beifan chuckled, "Is that all?" "I wish to maintain my body temperature at 36.8 degrees Celsius!" The first protagonist's brain overheated to 73.6 degrees and perished. "I wish to get a full 12 hours of sleep every day!" The second protagonist fell into a vegetative state and perished. "I wish to be smothered to death by a woman weighing 120 pounds!" The third protagonist was flattened by a woman weighing 240 pounds and perished. And so, the narrative was thrown into chaos once again! ... 1Chap/day on Webnovel 2Chap/day on Patreon Patreon: patreon.com/ScumbagGuy ... Full Disclaimer: I am only translating this novel The author is: 清蒸
"I'm back again," sighed a handsome young man, seated within the luxurious confines of his office.
The young man's name is Lin Beifan. At the age of 20, he finds himself transported to a world stitched together from countless urban web novels. Here, he plays the unfortunate role of a minor villain—one who constantly falls victim to the machinations and superior wits of the story's protagonist.
Stereotypically, Lin Beifan is a wastrel, squandering his parents' wealth. He's unskilled and uneducated, often engaging in debauchery and creating unnecessary trouble. His affection for the story's heroine, Song Yuqing, puts him in direct confrontation with the male protagonist, leading to public humiliations time and time again.
Initially, he maintained a level of rationality, but as his failures mounted, he spiraled into recklessness, making choices that brought outrage from both gods and mortals alike, eventually resulting in his family's downfall. Although he managed to survive until the story's end, he was driven to madness and institutionalized—a tale so cliché it could be found on any street corner.
But with knowledge of how his story ends, would Lin Beifan tread the same path?
Certainly not!
Fortuitously, upon his arrival in this world, he gains access to a special system called the "Wish Granting System."
As the name suggests, the system grants wishes. While this sounds powerful and promising, it comes with three major limitations:
First, it can only grant one wish per day.
Second, wishes can only be self-serving; they can only manifest changes on the wisher and nobody else. For example, wishing for his parents' good health is not allowed. Wishing for his own, however, is permissible.
Third, the wishes must adhere to the natural laws of this urban world and are effective for only 24 hours. Eternal life? Immortality in sync with the universe? These wishes are unattainable; after all, this world is urban, not a fantasy realm of cultivators.
Despite these constraints, the system's power remains formidable.
Utilizing the Wish Granting System and his own ingenuity, Lin Beifan inadvertently topples all the protagonists, ascending to the rank of ultimate villain and throwing the world's timeline into chaos. However, fate has one more twist for him—a curse that states, "Any wish Lin Beifan makes will grant his enemies double the benefits!"
To put it plainly, whatever Lin Beifan gains through the system, his enemies will receive twice as much.
If you live well, your enemies live better. If you gain much, your enemies gain even more. And in the end, they'll turn the tables and humiliate you. You're destined to be nothing more than a stepping stone!
Chuckling to himself, Lin Beifan muses, "Do they really think this will stop me?"
At that moment, the door swings open, and in walks a stunningly beautiful woman with glasses, gracefully approaching Lin Beifan.
"Mr. Lin, Miss Song from Song Corporation has invited you to dinner at Ocean Restaurant, scheduled for 8 PM tonight. What would you like to do?"
Miss Song from Song Corporation is none other than Song Yuqing—the first heroine, a woman of both intelligence and beauty, and one of the two shining stars of Mohai City.
Her family owns a hospital that currently has an array outdated, large-scale medical equipment. They're looking to invest in new, modern machinery, but they are facing significant financial constraints.
Coincidentally, Lin Beifan's family specializes in the medical equipment business.
As a result, Song Yuqing's family invited Lin Beifan to dinner with the intention of securing new equipment on credit through his connections.
It was on this particular evening that Lin Beifan, a character from the original story, first met Song Yuqing. He was utterly captivated by her and brazenly proposed that she become his girlfriend; otherwise, he wouldn't agree to the deal.
Just then, the main character of the story emerged and metaphorically "slapped" Lin Beifan back into reality.
From that point on, the rivalry between the two families ignited, and the plot unfolded.
Interestingly, the Lin Beifan who had traveled from another world didn't follow the original story's plotline; instead, he outsmarted the main character.
Such an entertaining game surely warrants a second round!
Lin Beifan nodded enthusiastically, "Alright, I accept the invitation! Please send her my response."
"As you wish, Mr. Lin."
At 8 o'clock in the evening, Lin Beifan arrived punctually at the Ocean Restaurant, where he met the legendary Song Yuqing.
In reality, this wasn't the first time Lin Beifan had met her.
Yet, he was still utterly struck by her beauty upon seeing her again. Standing at a height of 1.72 meters, she displayed a graceful figure. Her fair skin, exquisite facial features, and long, black hair captivated him. Though she wore a simple white business suit, her entire demeanour radiated elegance.
At that moment, Song Yuqing was equally impressed.
Lin Beifan possessed strikingly good looks, which even women might envy. His gaze remained gentle throughout, devoid of any inappropriate thoughts—completely contradicting the rumors of him being a wasteful playboy.
Was it misinformation, or had he been concealing his true nature?
She didn't dwell on it as the two exchanged pleasantries.
Lin Beifan was the first to apologize, "Miss Song, I apologize for my tardiness."
Song Yuqing offered a soft smile, "I just arrived as well. What would you like to eat?"
"The guest follows the host's wishes!"
"You're too polite; I'm the one treating you, so why don't you go ahead and order?"
Unable to politely refuse any longer, Lin Beifan took the menu and said to the waiter, "Hello! I'd like to order a Filet Mignon, cooked medium-rare. We'll also have foie gras...and two cups of hot red tea, please. Thank you!"
Sitting across from him, Song Yuqing was rather surprised, "Mr. Lin, everything you ordered happens to be my favorite! How did you know?"
Lin Beifan secretly thought, 'Of course, I know! You're my wife; I know every mole on your body!'
However, given that the story has reset and the two characters have not yet met, Lin Beifan couldn't reveal his true knowledge about her.
Lin Beifan offered a modest smile, "I guessed! Can't believe I got it right!"
Song Yuqing laughed heartily, "You're quite talented! But you got one thing wrong—I prefer my red tea cold."
Lin Beifan continued to smile, "You've been having some digestive issues lately, so it would be better to drink something hot."
Song Yuqing looked intrigued, "How do you know I've been having digestive issues? Another guess?"
"No, not this time. I could tell from your complexion," Lin Beifan explained calmly. "You have dark circles under your eyes, your lips look rather dry, and although the air conditioning is set to 25 degrees Celsius, you've put on an extra layer of clothing as if you feel cold. Also, I noticed you've been frequently touching your abdomen, likely due to bloating..."
Lin Beifan detailed his observations and concluded, "So, putting it all together, it appears you're suffering from digestive issues due to irregular eating habits and frequent late nights."
Song Yuqing looked even more astonished, "You could deduce all of that? That's impressive! Have you studied traditional Chinese medicine?"
"I haven't formally studied it, just a general understanding," Lin Beifan replied modestly.
The two continued to eat while chatting.
The more they talked, the more amazed Song Yuqing became.
Hadn't everyone said that he was an incompetent playboy, interested only in living the high life?
Why did he seem entirely different now?
He could answer questions on any subject!
He was knowledgeable about everything!
He could effortlessly switch between various topics!
Not just in medicine, but also in economics, social sciences, meteorology, entertainment, and even seemingly unrelated fields like philosophy—he spoke with authority on them all!
It felt like he was even more accomplished than her, a double master's degree holder!
Seeing her baffled expression, Lin Beifan smiled subtly, not at all surprised.
In his previous life, he had wished for super learning abilities and then spent some time acquiring knowledge from various disciplines. He could be described as a walking encyclopaedia.
Although he had been reborn, he retained all those memories.