Chapter 32

Chapter 32

THE DAYS FLEW by. I did some dog-walking for the neighbors – not for the cash, but more for something to occupy me. Sometimes Noah came with me.

Since Dad was in work, he bribed me to taxi Brad and his friends around in my new car – to the park; to the soccer pitch; to the movies; out for a milkshake.

I would've refused, but Dad had said, 'Bud, do you want me to be that dad who gives you a curfew when you go on dates, or has strict rules about your boyfriend? Because I'll do it.'

'You're going to ransom me Noah to take Brad places?'

He nodded. 'I'm still not entirely happy about you two, Elle. I don't think you know just how lenient I'm being here.'

So I let it drop.

Plus, I did tend to get back late – spending the day lounging around the Flynns' pool, usually with the guys; watching a movie with Noah in the evening, Lee and Rachel on the other couch; and then, later, losing track of time, too taken up with Noah.

One day, the Monday before we were due to go to the beach house, we were lounging around by the pool. Some of the girls were there too – Lisa, who was still dating Cam, and Rachel, and May. Noah was out with some of the guys from the football team.

Lee's dad was cooking a barbecue for us all while his mom sat on the decking reading a book. The smoky scent of summer at Lee's house filled my nostrils.

'Girls' day out tomorrow,' Lisa announced from her sun lounger. I was about to get in the pool, T-shirt halfway over my head, and I paused.

'Cool,' Rachel said.

I finished tugging it off, and dropped it on the lounger, pulling off my sunglasses too.

'Elle, you coming?'

'Oh, come on! It'll be fun!' Lisa said brightly.

'What'll be fun?' Cam asked, suddenly appearing out of the pool. He shook his hair like a dog and, dripping wet, gave Lisa a kiss on the cheek before standing up again. 'Ah, Elle, don't tell me you've got some wild prank in mind.'

I laughed. 'No.'

'We're going shopping,' May told him.

'Without Lee,' Lisa added.

'What's happening without me? Shelly? Rachel? What're you ditching me for now?'

'Shopping,' Rachel and I answered, and we laughed.

'You? Shopping? Without me, your personal stylist?' Lee looked horrified. 'Will you still get me a milkshake?'

I laughed. 'Fine.'

'So that's a yes, then?' Lisa said.

'Sure.' I was actually kind of flattered to be included in something that didn't involve Lee. But I was just a little worried I'd feel out of place, since I didn't usually go on girlie outings.

'Oh, Elle, it won't be that bad,' Dixon said, heaving himself up onto his elbows on the side of the pool. 'You can buy some sexy lingerie for Flynn.'

I didn't know how to react to that – laugh or blush. I did both.

Then Lee splashed him right in the face. Dixon must've swallowed half a gallon of water, and flopped back into the pool, spluttering, while we all laughed.

'Dude, that's my Shelly you're talking about!' Lee protested dramatically. He said 'my Shelly' like another guy would say 'my little sister'. But then he said, 'Talk about disgusting,' and shuddered.

'Oh, yeah?' I challenged him.

'Oh, yeah!'

I stood, blinked innocently at him, and yelled, 'Cannonball!'

As it turned out, shopping was fun. It was kind of weird, in a way, to be going shopping with 'the girls' instead of my best friend, but I enjoyed it all the same.

The day after that was spent packing and repacking, and then upturning my case to pack it all over again. I always had trouble packing for the beach house. In the end, though, I took the same things I always did. We'd gone to the Flynns' beach house every summer for years now.

I wanted things to be exactly the same as always – but I knew they wouldn't. Noah and his dad were leaving two days earlier than the rest of us, to check out the campus at Harvard. Rachel came for a couple of days too – not that I minded: I actually enjoyed having some female company other than June for once.

And even if the beach house seemed the same as ever – sandy floors, a little too cramped to fit all of us, the peeling paint and creaky floors and mismatched furniture we loved so much – it was different. At first, I thought everything was just as it always had been.

The first night Rachel was there we all went out to dinner, and Noah and I were acting like a real couple; once he made me dinner when everyone else was out, and we walked along the beach together. And times like that, I remembered just how much everything really had changed, and how nothing was going to stay the same.

Not even my relationship with Noah.

I didn't know how things would work out when he finally left. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want it to put a dark cloud over the time we had left together. I kept telling myself we'd cross that bridge when we came to it, but . . .

I didn't know if we'd even cross it then, to be honest.

It was weird, trying to split my time between my best friend and my boyfriend. I was thankful that Lee had Rachel; I didn't feel so bad about spending so much time with Noah then.

He'd take me to movies, and it was so nice just being a regular couple after all the time we'd spent sneaking around. I still couldn't believe how much he'd changed in the past few months.

Although once, when I was dropping Brad at the park to play soccer with his friends, I saw Noah getting in a fight with some guy he was playing football with, while the rest of the team egged them on.

For all I'd managed to change him, he was still the bad-ass guy I'd grown up with. I kind of liked that, though. It was comforting, in a way, to know he hadn't totally lost the rough edges I'd ended up falling for.

The bike, on the other hand . . . He kept trying to get me to ride it, saying it was easier to park than his car, and faster; he even wanted to teach me to ride it for myself. But I remained adamant: I hated the bike.

And then we were at the airport, the tannoy overhead announcing that the eight-oh-five to Boston was now boarding at Gate Five, if all passengers could please make their way to . . .

I stood up with Noah and felt his hand tighten on mine. He slung his rucksack over his shoulder with his free hand.

'Guess this is it,' Lee said. I let go of Noah's hand as the two brothers gave each other one of those brusque guy-hugs, slapping each other's backs. 'Good luck.'

'Try not to get in too many fights, son,' Matthew told him, slapping his back but with authority in his voice. Noah just nodded but we all knew he wasn't really paying any attention.

'Call us when you get there,' June said, hugging him. She was beaming proudly, but her eyes were mournful to see her little boy growing up and moving across the country for college, leaving the nest. She swallowed, like she was trying not to cry.

And hell, she wasn't the only one.

I didn't want to lose him. I still didn't want him to go; but it wasn't my choice to make. I knew that there was a chance this might not work out between us.

And you know what?

I was okay with that.

Not every relationship is going to last forever, not outside of fairy tales. I might fall in love a hundred times before I found the one I'd want to spend the rest of my life with, and maybe that one would be Noah, maybe it wouldn't. I knew things might have to end, and I didn't want them to – but if they did, I'd deal with it.

Maybe I'd be the one to get my heart broken, waiting for some other guy to come piece it back together; but until then, I was happy to stay in love with Noah even if he was all the way over in Boston. I was living in the present.

I wanted it to last forever, though; the hopeless romantic in me hadn't died out just yet.

I walked up to the gate with Noah. A small queue of people filtered smoothly past the woman checking their boarding documents. He squeezed my hand and then turned to face me.

'It'll work out,' he told me. 'Somehow.'

'Now who's being the silly romantic?' I teased.

'I'll see you in a few weeks,' he told me. After a pause he said, 'I'll miss you.'

'I'm going to miss you too.' I went up on my toes to give him a kiss, before dropping back down. 'We're trying it at least. They can't say we didn't try.'

'Ever the pessimist, aren't we, Shelly?' he joked, tweaking my nose. 'I'll call you when I get there.'

'You better call your mom first,' I told him. 'She'll be mad if you don't tell her you landed safe.'

'I think you're right,' he laughed, and his arms wrapped around my waist.

'Final call for all passengers boarding the eight-oh-five to Boston . . .'

I sighed and hugged him tight, breathing in his scent. I knew it so well, but now I was trying to fix it into my senses permanently. He hugged me back, and I tried to memorize that feeling too – his arms around me, his face in my hair.

'I love you,' he breathed in my ear.

'I love you,' I replied, all of a sudden trying to hold back the tears that pricked behind my eyes. 'So much.'

'We'll try,' he told me, kissing me now, his lips soft and sweet on mine. He tasted like cotton candy, just like when we'd first kissed: he'd bought some from a sweet stand in the airport – 'For old times' sake.'

My fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, and the familiar sparks danced through me as we kissed. It was like all the happiness, all the sadness, all the hopes and fears – everything we had went into that kiss. What seemed like decades later, we broke apart, his forehead resting against mine.

'I have to go,' he murmured.

'I'll talk to you later. Good luck.'

He gave me his infamous smirk as he walked backward toward the gate. 'Luck? Shelly, you forget – this is Flynn you're talking to. I don't need luck.'

I laughed, and wasn't entirely shocked when a tear splashed down my cheek; I felt the salty taste on the corner of my mouth, where the memory of Noah's kisses lingered. 'Stupid violence junkie.'

He winked, laughing, and disappeared through the gate, out of sight.

A few minutes later, I stood by the windows, watching the plane roll down the runway, and I felt someone at my side, putting an arm around me. I leaned my head on Lee's shoulder. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. He was there for me, just like he always would be.

As Noah's plane built up speed and eased up into the air and the wheels left the ground, I felt myself smiling a little – a sad smile.

Maybe things really would work out with Noah. I hoped they did. I had my fingers crossed tightly by my side. Maybe things wouldn't work out with Noah – we'd meet other people, or we'd drift apart, or a long-distance relationship just wouldn't suit us. But whatever happened, I knew there was part of me that was always going to belong to Noah Flynn, the school bad-ass; a little piece of my heart that was always going to be his.

Whatever happens, I told myself, staring after Noah's plane, things are going to be okay.

'Just think,' Lee said then, 'all this, just from the kissing booth.'

I laughed, pushing him slightly, and he laughed too, squeezing me tight for a second before we turned away from the view of the empty runway, where the plane was lost somewhere in the cloudy sky, and walked off.