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The girl in the Louvre

Autor: smarshum
Romance
Laufend · 151.4K Ansichten
  • 38 Kaps
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Zusammenfassung

One wrong decision could change your life forever. It could be the difference between living with your perfect half, the special someone who makes you wake up in the morning with butterflies in your stomach just because you know they will be sleeping gently right next to you when you awaken. Or living your life alone, without having somebody to weather the storms of life with, without a lifelong friend and companion to enjoy and share your achievements, passions, and sorrows. Turning what was once a hopeful journey, into a search for that lighthouse to guide you back home. An empty life filled with regrets of what could have been instead of expectations and excitement over what is occurring. Simply existing, without feeling the true delight of being able to actually live. All because the one that brought colour into your world is not there anymore and has taken away the glow that they once brought with them away again.

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NewWebReader
NewWebReaderLv5NewWebReader

U need to do something about advertising. I found u in a comment section of Dual Cultivation. No one will find your novel in any other ways.

PettyOfficer
PettyOfficerLv6PettyOfficer

I’m going to inflate this rating because I think there is potential. Good luck writing! Two main complaints, though. First, every chapter cuts off strangely, like they’re a continuous chapter that never discretely ends. Now, I can’t say that is bad, but it gives me a weird sense of loss, like I missed something, so I have to go back and look at the past chapter. Might just be me, but it’s how I feel. Second, the writing is too cramped. What you do for example: “I am having a normal convo with a lassie,” says one character. The character does a bunch of actions and has internal thoughts. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said that,’ thought the one character. The character does more interactions. “Hey, I want to talk about what we’re doing!” See how clunky that is? Separate paragraphs for characters doing actions, thoughts, and additional dialogue. It cleans up the flow. For example: “I am having a normal convo with a lassie,” says one character. The character does a bunch of actions and has internal thoughts. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said that,’ thought the one character. The character does more interactions. “Hey, I want to talk about what we’re doing!” said the one character.

smarshum
smarshumAutorsmarshum

Hey ladies and gentlemen, This is my first novel and so you can expect the writing to get better as the novel progresses and I get more familiar with writing novels. The story itself is a slow paced romance novel with a bit a action and family drama. In the beginning the main characters are just immature kids falling in love for the first time, but as the story advances they will age, face problems, and mature. There will be no NTR and not too much miscommunication so don't worry. I hope that you can give it a try and tell me what you think as I would love constructive criticism. If there is something wrong with my writing please tell be and if you have any suggestions to improve my writing that would help.

Luvvy
LuvvyLv5Luvvy

Hi author please when are you going to upload more chapters of this novel because is one of my favorite novel and I will be bored without reading it so please upload soon

Suash
SuashLv4Suash

Being your first novel... You tried, but you need to lmprove on your story Its pretty good....but no one will notice it this way.... And you need to work on your English..... or still get a translator. You have a nice story

Pudor
PudorLv6Pudor

In my opinion the story is great and fluffy. It is kind of weird and unrealistic at the beginning, but it gets better. I really like the story, and love the roles of the main characters. They are so cute. 😂 It would better if there is consistent release.

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